Category: sins



>No. I am not going to direct a movie. I mean, thanks for the offer, but I am too busy this summer. Lol. The post title has nothing to do with Bruce Willis either or his fighting skills. Only thing common is the word, “Die” .
You might be thinking why “Die Easy 5.0” ?There are so many easy ways to die, why die the hard way then?

Okay, I’ll get back to my original thought behind this post. It is called, a will to quit smoking. I know there will be many people who would simply laugh this thing away. Its for such people I have titled this post “Die EASY 5.0”. “No one can quit smoking forever”, is one of the most famous statements which I have heard on suggesting my friends to quit smoking. People who smoke take it as a personal offense when someone asks them to quit smoking. I have myself behaved in a very irritated manner when my best friend asked me to quit smoking. I almost stopped talking to her. But she was the one who gave me the confidence in first place that quitting the stick is not a herculean task, but just a matter of self control. She would have been proud of me had she been watching me now. Anyways, that’s a different matter, although of heart, it has nothing to do with smoking. Whatever….

Many people have asked me reasons one must ponder over as to why she/he should boot the cigarette. The reasons are very simple. The most important is INSCRIBED on the pack of cigarettes. I hope you can see that, and if possible, read it too. So next time you buy yourself a pack, try reading things written all over it, and not just the price. It will enlighten you for sure, if you are dumb enough not to know till now.

Why do you smoke? Ask yourself. I am sure your reason must be among the following two:-
1) It makes me look cool.
2) I am addicted to it.

I can bet my 2 cents(yep that’s what I can afford at most ..lol..I dun even have 50 cents) that your reason would not be out of what I have listed above.
It actually starts with an innocent friend hanging out with his friends on a weekend. Or may be someone who has been out of his home for the first time into the INTERESTING and EXCITING world of college life and hostels. Or it may be someone who is simply awed by the stylishness of the way Rajanikanth lights up the cigarettes in between his fight with two dozen goons.
No matter how it starts, there is no “Only just for the first time”. The smoke always attracts the first timers.
A matchbox,a stick and few friends on the rooftop of college hostel. It seems like the perfect setting for masti. Actually, I have seen many chain smokers start like this only. Including me. I remember my first puff. My head spun and lungs wanted to blast off. It was really an “out-of-body” experience, as many of the smokers describe. Only, it was not a pleasant one. I was a smoker for 5 years, but there has not been a single day when I have not hated the smell of cigarette and felt uneasy at the smoke around me. Quite confusing na? These words coming from a chain smoker. Yes, even I think sometimes the reason I smoked when I never really liked it, and I found out that I had made it a part of my life, too integral to be scrapped away like that.

It does become a habit very quickly. Not my word, but from the scientists. I always used to laugh away at this and said that nicotine is NOT addictive. Now I do agree with it. What else can describe the craving for something which you know is bad for you, going to make you pay in order to buy death and going to be something which you will not be proud of telling to your parents. My parents never realized I was into smoking. I never told them either.

Going back to our reasons for smoking… Let’s talk them in detail..It’s actually sort of funny..

Reason-cum-Hallucination no. 1
-It makes me look cool.

Bah!!! ^%^$^%^@#@ I feel like saying many things, but I have to maintain some decency I think. So in one word, BS! If you think smoking is “the one” thing which takes away from you all your UNCOOLNESS and drowns you into a vast ocean of coolness, then I think you should rather consider going to Himalayas. You will feel pretty much cool there… Tell me… Do you really think if some girl sees you smoking she starts fancying you? Do you think that she will talk to you if she saw you smoking? Wake up loser!!! This is the word from the mouth of horse(or donkey) himself… Girls Hate smokers. No one likes to kiss you when your mouth is stinking of the dirty smell of cigarette and your clothes smell of the same. Actually, she would rather prefer to be as away from you as possible. So you see your coolness lands you in a cool pile shit as far as girls are considered. Besides, its no fashion show idiots!! You are not making a fashion statement by lighting that stick. And if you need a lighting stick in order to make a statement about your coolness among your friends, you really need to seriously introspect yourself. Losers!!!

Reason-cum-Hallucination no. 2
-I am addicted to it.

Get over it idiots! There is nothing like that. Addicted…lame excuse of an eternal loser who doesn’t have the balls to face himself in the mirror and tell himself to get his life going the right way. Instead, he simply goes on living the life as it comes and simply shrugs all the troubles in his life away. If you really want to quit smoking, then throw away that pack in your cupboard, or may be in you pocket. And make one simple vow of never touching it. A vow over your self respect, if you still have some left within yourself. If your heart is into quitting it, you will see that how easy it is to avoid it despite numerous chances to light it up and smoke up your life.
All the best you are thinking of quitting.

PS:- Just think what your parents will think of you if they found out you are a smoker. I am over this smoking thing and still unable to tell them that I used to smoke. It is one thing I am ashamed of. I was never so afraid even when I told them about the girl I loved. Now you can yourself assume how shameful it is when you have to uncover this “smoking truth” before your friends.They have too much faith in me. I can’t see it destroyed. I wish I can muster up enough courage someday to tell them about this. Pray For me friends 🙂

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>Well…an empty mind and a full bottle of whiskey CAN do wonders at times!!!

This time…the medium is me…

I am gonna use all my experience with girls and all and gonna write a post on

“All you wanted to know about girls and all you never wanted to know about girls”

as my special post for Valentine’s day….

I guess it will answer guys maximum questions on how to deal with girls and what things to look for…. Call it a dirty thing..call it a frustrated person’s outburst.. call it anything…

I call it the naked truth!!! And this V-day, your gonna find it out too!!!

Brickbats… ??? Bring them ONNNNNN!!!


>– That life isn’t all about sex.


– That there must be something very great in marriage, that’s why the institution has survived morons like me, who do not believe in it.

– That eating the last piece of cake in the room is tougher than cracking an MBA exam.

– That there is always some whiskey in the bottle.

– That best friends are often jerks. You do need to see your alikes in this world at times.

– That its not the best thing to pataao your best friend’s sister.

– That there is no dearth of girls in this world.

– That crying at one’s pain is easiest, laughing is a bit tougher, but telling no one about it is the toughest thing.

– That its never too late untill its really late.

– That none of us can ever forget those eyes and that voice(for guys).


– That its not a right thing to call your ex if you still have got any feelings for her/him.

– That at one point in your life, you would believe that you have lost it, and you would be proven wrong by yourself.

– That truth is stranger than fiction.
– That love does exist, and its not mandatory to love just once. That funda is bull shit!

– That we all wish we were something which we do not understand properly.


– That some plans are executed best when executed in an unplanned manner.

– That some days are plain bad, you can’t do much about them.

– That no matter how much effort you put in, there will be an asshole to tell you its not enough.

– That looks have nothing to do with attracting girls, as far as you have the qualities.

– That some girls are bitches and some guys are bastards.

– That eating an apple a day actually contributes little towards keeping the doc away. Overrated proverb.


– That smoking kills lesser people than malnutrition does.


– That this post is stretching idiotically long and its time for me to sleep…..damnnn… quarter past 4 in the morning….ROFL!!!


– That contrary to popular belief, Daaru ke baad padhne mein bahut mazaaa aata hai!!! 😀


>
I think its a dream, i can’t believe its true,
And obviously no one will believe me, no! not even you,
I want to think it can come real,
But fate has a different deal,

I see her there, walking down the stairs,
I feel my heartbeat go fast, wonder if she cares,
I try not to look at her, and go by my business,
But fail to hide my mind, fail to hide this uneasiness,

I avoid looking there, she’s with her friends,
I wonder what makes her smile, wonder how she smells,
I laugh at me, laugh at the things I dream,
I tell myself its never gonna be, that we aren’t meant to be,

So I walk away from her, away from her world,
To someplace where someone cares, where silence can be heard,
I leave this dream lying on the floor,
and with silent steps I walk through the door.


>
“April Fool!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!” , he shouted into the phone… He waited for a response from the other side as he literally jumped on the hostel roof, laughing uncontrollably, so much that tears welled up in his eyes. He wondered if they were indeed from laughing :)…

Silence…no response yet, he wondered if she hung up. “Hello?… hello???”, he searched for her response.
“Its not funny, Navneet(he was yet to be christened as Navi…the name which will be his identity for many coming years, perhaps forever)”, she spoke softly and paused again.
He became serious now. No laughing, no jumping, no pretense, no more. He again said,”arrey it was just a prank re….watch the time :P”, and he looks into his cell time and said, “Its, past 12….today’s Fool’s day …ha ha ha ha”

Again silence…”Navneet, you’re so mean!!! I should have seen that coming. But again, when it comes to you, its not easy to guess”. He thought for a moment if she really believed him, then became sure by her tone. Still, there was something changed in her behaviour that made him suspicious. It had to be fool proof….Either this way, or no way….There can not be a middle way. “I can’t afford to be caught”, he thought to himself and tried changing the topic.

“So who are YOU gonna fool today?? Now that you have been already fooled 😛 ??”,he asked her, praying she doesn’t get any hint or clue about the reality…His eyes became moist, and he was sure it wasn’t from laughing this time…or ever… He controlled the emotions inside him..”This is not the time to think about it… I will think when I have time for myself… I will have plenty of it now…”, he said to himself, trying to console his aching heart, telling it that he knew this would happen, that there is nothing to be sad about…that she was never his…

“Navneet, were you seriously making me fool or…??”, the voice from other side cracked into the phone, and uttered the unsaid, the one which must not be said….the forbidden…or as he thought…

“Obviously, you really thought I would propose you?? :O lol… naah girl… It was a prank and just a prank!!! IT has nothing to do with reality.”, he recited the words he had been practicing for last four days, ever since he made this leak proof plan… April 1st was the perfect occasion to do it…. The three letters would either mean everything to her or he will turn it into a prank…. When he said them, she went silent and his greatest fears of the inevitable came true…so he had to switch to planB.. the prank thing…. he wondered what he would have said had she said yes…. “What if….”, he smiled to himself.

“Navneet…you there??”, the voice again brought him into reality, the harsh reality that meant she wasn’t least interested in him. He sobered up and braced himself.”Navneet, were you really joking??”, she asked again…”Ofcourse re !!! We are friends na..and its my duty to pull your leg every now and then!!! “, he said with the same deceptive smile and tone that would be his forte for coming years….”And besides, ki fark painda hai!!! Whether I was joking or not, you wouldn’t have accepted it anyways!!”,he blurted out….and cursed himself the very next moment for doing so….

“Navneet..??? Tell me please.. I need to know, coz I do not think you were just joking”
“Naah re…seriously… I swear!!!”, and he swore false things….something that he will do now all his life to hide things….perhaps he should tell her the truth….perhaps that’s the right thing to do….but as he said…”ki fark painda hai”

“Okay…as you wish….hmmmm… I thought…”, and she paused in between…

“What?? That I love you?? “

“hmmmm..dunno..you said it making it feel so real that I believed you”

“hmmm… imagine if I wasn’t bluffing, then what would you have done??”

“Navneet!! you know na..you know it all na??”

“Hmmmm…ryt…anyways…leave it…”

“Could you??”

“Yes…it was just a prank and let’s forget it here and now…”, he said with a sore throat…

“hmmmm..okkkk…”

“ok”

“okay chal have to hang up else someone would wake up and wonder what I am doing this late in the balcony”

“Okay…bbye…take care.. “

“Bye Navneet”

“Good night”

“good night”

He hangs up….and sits on the wall of hostel roof….thinking what he just did…. He proposed the girl he loved madly for last 4 years…and turned it into a prank…”It was the right thing to do….didn’t you know she would be shocked to know this??didn’t you understand it was foolish to do in first place???You saw na her reaction…she wasnt saying anything and once you convinced her that it was a prank, she was back to normal”

“But she was suspicious of your prank thing”, a faint voice spoke from within, the voice of his heart.

“Well, I think I convinced her pretty well”, the mind spoke.

He watched his mind and heart fight for something which they would never be able to understand….HIM….and smiled…. he knew this is just the beginning of a life long dispute…

He saw the screen saver in his cell…it read…

00:45 hours
April 01, 2004

>He- The Voice


>
He sits in the corner, sipping his black coffee,
Wearing an indifferent expression, neither violent nor meek,
He watches the people, running away from themselves,
He wonders at them, “Dunno how that helps”,

He has seen a lot and has gone through much,
He pretends he shut it,but it opens at a touch,
The evenings of laughter, the mornings of joy,
Sometimes feeling as if he was treated like a toy,

He sees people thinking that they will forget,
He laughs at these fools, and wished they never met,
He sips his black coffee, storms stirring inside,
He must choose an option.now he must decide,

To be with these people and be like just them,
Or run away from everything,turn all in the flames,
I don’t know what he will do, but I will be with him,
For he is the voice the screaming within.

PS:- I know off late my poems might have lost that touch. It happens. I do not feel like writing anything romantic anymore…. may be some personal reasons, but these things are not anymore for me…. I might even stop writing… It takes too much to bring on paper what goes inside my mind. I do not write fictional poetry. I write what I have seen. I write my own experiences….. perhaps that is the reason I do not wish to write anymore… I am fed up of being at the receiving end all the time and telling about it on my blog…may be I am ashamed of myself…of failing time and again…. May be… It always happens 😦

Just pray this was the last time I fell for someone…I wish either I could never rise…or rise so much that I could never see anyone worthy enough to fall for…

😦

>Prey


>
Well…a poem finally…a dark one this time…dunno how much justice i have done with my dark instincts…You’re the judge

There he spotted her, the prey of the evening,
laughing among her friends, her aura lightening the dark night,
He watches her moves, the ways she speaks,
he plans for the act, the one which always rules,

He moves towards her, with an innocent smile on his face,
beneath which lies a cruel intention, of which no one can find a trace,
He takes silent steps, the prey completely ignorant of it,
his eyes mocking the atmosphere, like a snake’s slit,

She’s talking to him, amazed by his charm,never suspecting the reality,
He stands by her side, holding a beer, cruel face hidden by frailty,
“What is this man,where he came from”, she wonders in her mind,
His charm and wits, working their way, making her logics blind,

He prepares to leave,she follows him out, fallen for him all the way,
never thinking it might be a trap,that she might be just a prey,
The streets are dark,the lights are out,they are all alone in the night,
As he moves towards her,preparing for the kill, ready to strike with all might.


>First of all…the credit for the idea for this post goes to http://voiceswithinspeak.blogspot.com/

It sort of inspired me to write this post…though in past I was tempted a lot to do something like this… but was either too lazy or too busy to do it..now that I am doing it..here it is… 😛

LAST TIMES…
1. Last beverage: Yesterday night…7up 😛
2. Last phone call: Papa
3. Last text message from : Citibank account balance 😐
4. Last song you listened to: I don’t know you anymore
5. Last time you cried: Well… 13 days before 😐

HAVE YOU EVER…
6. Dated someone twice: Yes…
7. Been cheated on? : Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it?: Eh…. No… 😛
9. Lost someone special? Yep…
10. Been depressed? a BIG YEP
11. Been drunk and threw up? hmmmmm…. well yes… 😐 that was once…i mean twice till now 😐

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. Black
14. Black
15. Black

😛

FIRSTS :
16. Made new friends: KG 😛
17. Fallen out of love: hmmm..yes…once… 2 years ago
18. Laughed until you cried: watching hera-pheri 😛
19. Met someone who changed you: yes…only one person..
20. Found out who your true friends were: In college… we stuck together by each other…that’s friendship..right???
21. Found out someone was talking about you: lol…many times….mannnnnnnnny times…

HAVE YOU:
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: Yes…though we are not friends anymore 🙂
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Well….if I go to FB…it should be 10%…orkut 70%…twitter 40%
24. How many kids do you want to have: As long as they do not potty every here and there 😐
25. Do you have any pets: No and neither wanna have…kids are enough to do the potty stuff…
26. Do you want to change your name: I wanted to…. until the revelation
27. What did you do for your last birthday: Talked to myself…something i rarely do
28.What time did you wake up today: 5:25 am 😐
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: Thankfully, sleeping
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for : LIFE
31. Last time you saw your father: 4 months ago 😐
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: LIFE…or ME
33. Most visited web page: FB,GMAIL,BLOG, and GOOGLE NEWS

WHAT’S YOUR :
34. Name: Navneet
35. Nicknames: Miku(pet name 😛 ), mickey mouse 😐 , Psycho (Friends 🙂 ) , Navi(courtsey “her”), Navu(courtsey a different “her” 😛 ) and the list goes on 😛
36. Zodiac sign: Capricorn
37. Male or female or transgender : Find yourself 😛
38. Elementary: Kalgidhar National Public school (dammit my memory..i still remember these names), New Delhi
39. Colleges: BIT SINDRI,dhanbad
40. Hair color: Black/Brown… depends on how you see it 😛
41. Long or short: Pendulumish…Sometimes loooooong…sometimes cropped 😛
42. Height: 5’8.5″ (i cant afford to lose those 0.5″ 😐 )
43. Do you have a crush on someone? Which someone are you talking about??? 😛 There are so many someones 😀
44. Ever been in love? Uh…Well…mmm.. i think… ufff.. Haan bhai haan… 😛 many times 😛
45. Piercings? I can hear with the natural hole in my ears…and can breathe with the natural holes in my nose…why should i get any more??? 😛
46. Tattoos? I wish…but no.. 😦
47. Righty or lefty: Righty and occasionally lefty… 😛
48. First surgery: 2002
49. First piercing: No firsts..no lasts..
50. First best friend: Saurabh
51. First sport you loved: Contrary to what others would think… it was football…
52. First pet : thankfully none..if you do not count my sister as a pet 😛
53. First vacation: Shimla, nainitaal,and whole north india with papa nd mom wen i was 3 😀
54. First concert: 😦 none 😦
55. First crush: 😐 Priety zinta
56. Eating: Chicken….Chicken…Chicken… 😐 ok..and rajma too…
57. Drinking: Is that an offer??? 😛
58. I’m about to: Resist another attempt from the rascal inside me to force me to smoke…and to watch some 3-4 movies…may be LOTR series..again 😐
60. Waiting for: No one.. or may be… 😐

YOUR FUTURE
61. Want kids? Depends… if married , yes,,,if not…NO!!!!
62. Want to get married? Eh…. ok… when can we meet???? 😛
63. Careers in mind? 😐 please… do not confuse me… career..i dun have one… I want to enjoy whatever I do rather than thinking it as a career

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: BOTH…. hmmmm.. ok…LIPS 😛
65. Hugs or kisses: KISSES
66. Shorter or taller: Both!!!
67. Older or Younger: I do not see the difference 😐
68. Romantic or spontaneous: BOTH!!! 😛
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: 😛 😛 😛 Nice stomach 😛
70. Sensitive or loud: Loud!!! 😛 (I know am getting dirty 😛 )
71. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship!!! strictly!
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: Ahhh.. :O :O :O 😛 BOTH BOTH BOTH!!!

HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: Well…NO
74. Lost glasses/contacts: NOPE..I dun have chasmaaaa 😛
75. Been on a blind date? : Well…not exact-leee 😛
76. Broken some one’s heart: Yes 😦
77. Had your own heart broken: YES 🙂
78. Been arrested: Yes…by a girl’s voice 9 years ago…
79. Turned someone down: Hmmmm… No.. 😛
80. Cried when someone died: Dunno…. perhaps no..
81. Liked a friend that is a girl?: Yes..but just as a friend 🙂 I have many 😛

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: No…I would be the last person I would trust…still I am myself’s best friend 🙂
82. Miracles: Yes
83. God: Not when this moron breaks its promises X-(
84. Love at first sight: Never..nor will be…I am not that type
85. Heaven: Yes..have been there once…wanna go again before I die 🙂
86. Santa Claus: Hmmmm… yes
87. Kiss on the first date? : 😛 Yes
88. Angels: Yep…there are so many in this world 😛
89. Devils: I am 😛

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? hmmmm…. no.. sadly..there is none…
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? NO…:P lol
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? : That should be an obvious answer…YES
93. Among your blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? Hmmmm… 😛 secret 😛
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? I do not regret…. 😀
95. Wanted to steal you friend’s boyfriend / girlfriend? : hmmmm.. 😛 I did it already 😛 no hard feelings though 😛

ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR :
96. White: PG TEES 😛
97. Black: EVERYTHING!!!! YUP…EVERYTHING!!! 😛
98. Red: 😛 EX-Company tag
99. Pink: A sweater mom weaved for me that I wore only when I was inside my home 😛 nowhere else :p


>I don’t know why I am writing this post. One thing is sure. Either I am so good an actor that I can pretend to myself about nothing being wrong to my life or I am completely a dual personality who can easily live a life when his alter ego is suffering every moment of his life. I would have loved any of the two being ignorant of the other one. I am not happy…. Why do I want you back?

Why?

I do not love you….no I don’t…

Then why the hell I want you back!!!!

Atleast respond to this if you are reading it!!! You heartless creature…..


>
And as she prepared, to move away,
He searched for words,something to say,
She looked at him, trying to smile,
He realised, they had only a while,

He remembered, the time they spent,
Smiling he wondered, “What that meant”,
She gathered strength, to face the things,
“No more heartaches, No moody swings”,

They wondered inside, how to live their lives,
But none said a single word,there were no cries,
Though they were parting,it was no parting away,
But they must face this,they didn’t have a say,

He thinks of her,perhaps even she does,
He wants her back, not that now it matters,
The love is gone, the dream is gone,
He is drenched in rain,standing all alone


>
I was working about half an hour ago. Learning web designing. Just then I felt like urge of listening to a song by mohit chauhan. Actually my room mates were boozing a few hours ago and they were all searching for this one song and could not find it. I thought of playing it now that all are asleep and no one is here to disturb me. I played the song… “Tumse hi…” I suddenly became motionless. I do not know what effect this song had me at that moment, but I sure did feel like an urge of dancing with her.

It rarely happens to me. I am not someone who would let himself fall apart like this. But in that one moment, I knew I missed her. I knew I felt the urge to hug her, to tell her that I love her, to kiss her. I wanted to see her. A tear might have trickled down. I do not know. I do not want to know. I loved that one moment after a long long time.

I do not want to feel like that ever again. It hurts a lot. 😦

I didn’t smoke or drink today while my friends were at it.


>If you could remember, I posted my CAT story from Pagalguy sometime back. That was the first part of my story. I am posting now the second part, which is by no means the final one, as I am yet to script my story. Will post the final part sometime next year when I am sure my war with CAT is over. Here is the post I wrote:-

Continued from

CAT’s a coffee shop on the highway (All I wanted to Speak about CAT)

Well… I had penned down my experience till 2007 season before, but thought of writing the things that happened thereafter as I have learnt new things during last one year. First of all my apologies to those who might find it rather long and unnecessary in first place, I just had to write it, if only for my own sake.

A job which keeps you engaged from 7 in the morning till 10-11-12 in the night is not the most optimum one to prepare for the MBA exams (especially CAT) side by side. Reasons? Well… you would not like it when its 1 am in the morning while you are munching ( or shall I rather say, swallowing) your dinner while reading the funda books or a novel. You keep studying till 3-4 am in the morning and wake up again at 7 in the morning, only to realise that the washroom is occupied and you will be again running after your company bus for the umpteenth time this week. You sure make good friends with the rickshaw wallahs and the driver and conductor of the bus this way though. I am sure you would like to spend your time in a better manner than this.

Well, the only one good thing Mumbai traffic has given me is the plenty of time in the bus to study and to sleep. Its really a bliss when the bus is stuck in the traffic and you are solving mathematics, the concentration you can create is AWESOME…I loved doing that. Besides, it also meant I would be spending less time in office and so the burden would be lesser than usual(or so I thought…lol).

Now comes the office part. One lesson. Never ever tell anyone in your office( unless they are completely harmless or are your bestest of friends) that you are preparing for MBA. Not at least when she/he is your PM/BDO/Senior Manager. It helps little to your already hectic schedule when you are reprimanded on not finishing the given task within the time frame(which of course is lesser than the life span of antimatter). Also, it is very much probable that you will be taunted that your work is getting affected due to your MBA preparations(They seldom think its the other way round). Huh.

Well…do not let your senior know of the MBA sites you have been surfing of late. She/He might as well stalk you there too and ask you to not to use these sites and rather concentrate on your work. USE LUNCH TIME FOR ALL READING(IF YOU CAN DO WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT). HAVE LUNCH WHEN YOUR SENIOR RETURNS FROM THE LUNCH.

Get back on the first bus to home rather than waiting and working in the office till 10 pm in the night. It is really irritating when you have to do that as you know that you will not be getting enough time to study and sleep early and that you will be caught in the loop again.

Well… Now you know what I went through last 1 year. I enrolled into CL weekend classes and surprised myself by performing really good. I mean, I got 74%ile in the diagnostic mock. And thereafter I improved myself pretty good. I never felt like I was out of touch or something like that. But the real surprise came when I took the 1st mock. I got a pretty decent 95+%ile. It was really morale boosting. Thereafter I kept studying regularly.

NOTE:- DO NOT FALL FOR ANY (AND THAT MEANS ANY ANY ANY) GIRL IN YOUR COACHING CENTRE. YOU STOP CONCENTRATING ON YOUR STUDIES PROPERLY AND THE RESULTS ARE HAMPERED. I FELL FOR SOMEONE AND THEN FELL TO 80%ILE IN MY 4TH MOCK( OR MAY BE 5TH).

Practice regularly even if you think you are very good in some specific section. Do not become complacent. Also, give more time to your weak section and do not just ignore or believe your mock scores. They are like convex mirrors… “Images in the mirror are closer than they look” Remember na??I scored almost at an average of 96-97%ile….barring a few occasions, when I crossed 99.97%ile once and also 78%ile. Apart from those mocks…95-99 was my domain, and I thought I was pretty much on the track. At least I thought that….

NOTE:- DO NOT LET YOUR EX-GFS SPOIL YOUR LIFE AGAIN. THEY HAVE DONE THAT ONCE, SO THEY KNOW HOW TO DO IT AGAIN. YOU HAVE SUFFERED ONCE, SO YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW HOW NOT TO SUFFER AGAIN.

The PG meets meanwhile were an eye-opener for me. I have made many friends through these meets, and have learnt a lot from them. Some of them are pursuing their MBAs this year, while some will start the journey with me. I even got selected in Mumbai Dream team in PGPL, which failed finally. But it has given me such a network of friends that I do really feel proud to among them. Someday, I want to make them proud of me too.(I know, it would be an exception…lol)Well, the forms were out and as I had planned, I filled almost all of my choice of colleges. I wonder though, why do CAT people do not come out with the correct solutions within a week of the exam. This way we students/aspirants would not have to fill up each and every damn form. Is it so that CAT people do not have proper solutions to the questions before conduction the exam? Is it so??? to CAT management committee.Well, I think I spent around 14k on the MBA forms last year. Would not be repeating the mistake this time round. Hit something…some CAT question from CAT 2009…. hospital rounds??? lol … Anyways, I went on an extensive 20 day vacation to my native place(not before fighting with my seniors a lot for extending it from 15 to 20 days). It helped me a lot in becoming the complacent Navi I am famous for. I really became complacent in the name of taking lesser tension. It seems that’s when I lost it.

Come C-Day and the first thing I remember is when I was out of the Examination hall. The 150 minutes were a blur. All I could remember was that there were 40 questions in EURC(my nemesis the last time round), and 25-25 in other two sections. Quantss initially seemed tough to me, but then I chose the right questions and solved 12 of them. DI again was too much math-a-pachhi doing, but I seemed to find a way round and solved only the right questions. 10 in DI.

Now I turned to my nemesis. EURC. I saw the watch. I had 55 minutes. I browsed through the section and found it rather easy. NO FIJS…lol… Some sentence corrections, some RCs, some grammar mistakes…”That’s all?? “, I asked myself. BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE. For once again, I became complacent. It cost me speed and accuracy, both. And finally an IIM seat. I could solve only 18 when others did 24-30 and some even all questions.

Final results.
QA- 12 attempted-All correct-48 marks..98.xx %ile
LRDI- 10 attempted- All correct-40 marks.. 97%ile
EURC 18 attempted- 8 correct-10 incorrrect-22 marks- A PATHETIC 64.xx %ile…

FINAL- 95.12%ile

Calls. IMT-G,TAPMI,IMI-Delhi
I was devastated.
Even XAT could not get me through. Just 97%ile.
JMET- not qualified.
FMS – not qualified
SNAP – uski to
IIFT -not qualified( unki bhi )

Finally Attended only IMT-G and IMI-D GD-PIs. Skipped TAPMI after reaching the college(They were asking for 10 L as course fee)
Meanwhile, I lost my job one fine day after slogging for 15 hours on average in office. Reason:- No reason. Unki bhi
I went through 2 breakups during this time which added no respite to my already going bad phase. But , but but but, 1 thing I learnt that no matter no one stands by me, I will always be there for myself.

Most of the first half of this year, I have been busy looking for a new job, not in software/private sector anymore. Stability is the word for me this time, in the government sector. I do not know where this quest will lead me and I have had my share of doubts over my ability. But I have come through all of them, with full faith in myself and now again I am preparing for season 2009. Though I still have to enrol for any test series, I will do it soon and when I am there, I know I will sail through this sea of uncertainty.

I wish next time I write my experience, its all on a positive note and I have at last something to boast of and to be proud about.

PS:- Do not go seeing off your ex on CST airport. It makes you more emotional and weak than you would ever want to be.

See you friends… see you soon

Till then…. Rock ON…

P.P.S. :- Most important lesson I learnt was to struggle in the worst of the times. Though I am still struggling hard with circumstances, I have the belief and more importantly, a guard against complacency this time. I just hope I peak at the right time, not like the last time, when I peaked too early and went down thereafter.


>Well, finally it is over. I am really kind of glad about it. You really don’t like it when your clothes smell of tobacco( and that too burnt) and all your face gets itchy, not to forget the pungent smell left in your hand after you have just finished smoking. It is really a wierd feeling(provided you are conscious about your cleanliness) to have such a smell around you all the day.

That was just one of the million reasons I quit smoking. Well to list some more…

First and the most important, “SMOKING CAUSES CANCER”. Come on… there is no lying about that. It is one of the most dangerous addictions ever hit mankind since it discovered sex. But though both seem to be giving you “a flying state of mind”, the former makes sure you get to the grave(not flying, but being driven a truck or something)
I decided(like million times before) that it was enough for me for one lifetime to take in so much of the smoke. Surprisingly, when I went through a thorough checkup recently, nothing popped up. I mean, nothing like a patch in my lungs, or High BP, or something else in my intestines/throat. I was shocked. Te first thought that came to mind was, “Shit! Now they have started adulterating Ciggis too…?? All my money into nothing? “
On a more serious note, I thought this is one chance God has given me( Though I do not believe in God a lot.. I do a little), and if I throw away this one, I’d never be able to get rid of it.
So, I quit even though it doesn’t seem to have affected me in any serious way(apart from ripping my purse and taking most of it away).

Well atleast I am consistent in this one area. Of quitting things(and sometimes people)
Also, there is this urge among the young men(especially) to look cool. I know a very good friend of mine, Suhas(name changed), who started smoking just to impress other(read girls) and to look cool. He thought it was an integral part of life to do such things. Well, I told him when he was lighting up the first ciggi of his life,”Suhas, do not start this. You will become addicted”. “I wont”, he said.

Today, Suhas smokes atleast a pack daily and says to me, “You were right Navneet, I want to quit now but can’t. Also, doesn’t this look so cool?” I just smile. Well, I do not feel guilty. Atleast I tried.

Another friend, Prashant(name chaanged). He was my roommate and is still among one my best friends. Its another thing that we do not talk much anymore. Anyways, this was the guy who introduced me to the world of smoking and porn. Well, I never watched any till I went into college.
So here was this guy, who was smoking since…ummm…1999..and we met in college in 2004. He was so thin my pants used to slip away from him. I too was thin back then, not now…lol.. So he always used to smoke. Morning tea, after breakfast, 10 am tea, before lunch tea,after lunch ,afternoon tea and blah blah blah… I wondered how could he do that with such a fragile health.
2006 october. The guy fell sick. Vomiting and high fever. Blood too. He was taken to his home by his brother and when after 2 months he returned, he could barely be recognized. He was half of his previous self. It was really shocking for all of us.

Initially he didn’t tell us what he actually suffered from. Then one day he broke down in front of some close friends and told us he was detected with T.B. We were shocked. I mean we see these things all the time in movies and TV. But we never think it could happen to us. There lies the problem. We keep telling ourselves lies that nothing will happen to us. After all, who has died after smoking one cigarette??? huh…blasphemy!!

So, this guy was totally barred from many things. His brother came to stay with him for a month and he was undeer constant medication. He took the university paper in that state of mind and body. You sure won’t wanna suffer like that.

We talk sometimes. I ask if he has been smoking again. He tells me… “Not now..never ever after college.” A beer is what he has sometimes to get over with the tension of daily life. But smoke? No way.
He always used to say something which I remember. Though many people said it, but seems I took the thing most seriously when he said it.
He said,” You will never be able to quit”

I called him yesterday. I told him I quit.


>Well… I posted this article about an year back on Pagalyguy. I thought of sharing it with you all.
You can access the original one here.. MY CAT STORY

Well…perhaps the first time I got aware of CAT “the exam ” was in 2003(yes even way back in 2003, I was equally ignorant), all kudos to Ranjit “Don”, the guy who leaked the papers. That time I thought,”The exam must be a very important one if such a mass level hysteria is in the general public!!”(Yes, I heard one of my elder cousins saying”Dammit…fir se padhna hoga 3 months…”):laugh:

Back then, I was in 12th standard with my results out and my dream of getting into IITs shattered…Also my hopes of fetching respectable marks in XIIth board examination were shattered when I almost flunked in my optional subject.And alongwith that dream, another one that kept me awake(The girl whom I loved all those two years …11th,12th and could not say a single word to her…Man I was some loser material back then!!!), came to an end as I had to return to my home, and she was still in Ranchi.:huh:

However less the margin be,a failure is still a failure. :idea:And I faced a dozen of them(missing the cut offs by silly margins) while looking at my career with a distraught look on my face.That was the first time in my life when I started helping myself out,thinking logically and sorting out the things as they are supposed to be, instead of expecting some miracle to happen and make life heaven..Puys who are reading this, note, “THERE ARE NO MIRACLES, ONLY ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS WHICH LOOK MIRACULOUS TO THOSE WHO DON’T WISH TO MOVE THEIR BUTT”:bigear:

Anyways, time passed quickly once I got into a nice Engg. college…not those biggies…but still a nice one(Yeah that’s what you say when you don’t get what you desire…get habituated to it as there will be many things in your life which you wont be getting…CAT might just being one of them…So make CAT something which doesn’t damage your life if u don’t get it)College life was good…we enjoyed(like everyone in college…and we rocked…even if no one cared..New friends,new life..new-found freedom and a single room…what more can a bachelor ask for??

Then came 2nd year and I heard some of my seniors preparing for CAT…i was surprised!!”Why are they preparing for another exam when they have got comfortable jobs??”, was the first question that popped in my mind.I simnply could not understand why they were trying for something to study when they were having their engg. degree…Why they were trying to put in vain everything they learnt in 4 years?

Anyways, many students in my college joined a nearby coaching centre(a famous one).I followed the suit and asked my parents for a huge sum(13500 INR, which was later invested in making calls to my so-called-GF, the same girl from Ranchi, my school days). They asked what it was for, I told them I wish to do MBA.:sarcasm:

Surprisingly, they were delighted!!So, I enrolled into the institute for 1 week trial period.Also attended the first class and performed well. BUT(yes that’s a big but), never went for the classes ever again. No special reason,I thought it was too much of an effort to maintain a discipline of going to classes(Now when I think of this, going to CL classes every weekend, and managing my hectic job as well, I just smile at what I was at that time).
Anyways, the CAT saga for my 2nd year was only this much and noting much happened afterwards.

Come 3rd year and everyone was mugging up the books and magzines and every single source of any information…GOD!!I came to know a bit later..1 months…that they were all preparing for the campus selection which would take place at the end of 3rd year. In my usual style, I brushed away the concern saying, “The first person to be selected for campus from our batch is ME”. Many people hated me for saying that. Perhaps they still do. I don’t care.

As the pre final year drew to a close, we had our University examination and the first company was scheduled to visit the college merely 5 days after the last exam.Infosys.Yes,like many others, that was my dream job also(Now I sometimes thank GOD taht all my dreams don’t come true!!).GOT REJECTED IN PI ROUND.Cried for the first time on phone while talking to my parents. Anyways, time flies by quickly and seldom we give a thought to the fact that how priorities change(form college to gf…from gf to job…again from job to gf….from gf to career…from career to family…and finally from everyone to one’s true self). My GF dumped me(perhaps for the 100th time in 5-6 years) and I started once again from the scratch.Sharing things with my diary was nothing new and now that I was all alone(barring a few friends who always have been alongside, come what may), it felt nice to vent out all the frustration on my diary.

10th-11thjuly-2006.Got the job. Not my dream job, certainly, but still,a slice of a cake is better than a hungry and aching stomach.That fateful night me and some of my closest friends decided to go for the CAT as now we dint have anything to be bothered about(Job in hand..GF gone…it really becomes a free life!!). Filled the form and started preparing in a group.I knew it from always quants was my stronghold and used to score 35-40% in it(read % ,not %ile) and DI section was also in the place. What worried me most was my performance in EURC section. I did get good scores, but was not consistent.

Never took a mock test all the way and suffered as a result.FIJs.Yes I know you are aware of them now but on the C-day in 2006, that was like a lightening bolt from hell…and it did struck me.Got a pathetic 1 in EURC(after calculating 32 a/c CL and 28 a/c IMS). 99.5%ile in QA and 95.3%ile in LRDI were not enough to help me cross the barrier and the year ended up as a disaster.

Took JMET and XAT also, cleared the cut off for JMET but never got into the merit list of any of the colleges.

CAT-2007:- Didn’t fill the form coz of a newly joined job and a desire to get atleast some work ex along with some experience of working in an office.

CAT-2008:- Working on it. Hoping to add something more to my not so illustrious career just in order to be able post here with some proud.

P.S.:- If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Thinking about my GF of 7 years??Dont think much friends….she’s married now..not meeeeee..some other guy…Life goes on …and no one cares..This, by no means is the end of the saga…I’ll see if I can sail through or get drowned….Coz if I sail through,its all ok…and if by chance i drown, he he he…then i’ll get a whole new world to explore.
CAT is by no means the end of the road for me. I believe in oppurtunities….not the results…I think of CAT as one of the many roads which I travel in my journey of life. What if I fail? No issues…I do lose…everyone does sometime…but the point is…that when you lose, don’t lose the lesson. I want to learn as much as I can from my pursuit of CAT.Also, this by no means to represent the whole story….abi to poori kahaani baaki hai…this is just the prologue…

we’ll see….and we’ll rock!!!

>Plaigarism


>Well…. I should be proud at this incidednt. I am not. Someone has stolen my poem “Make her smyle” and published it in a book!!!! Well…. I never knew I could write something like that… I do not write for commercial purposes,I do it to get things out of my system…just that…. and this person… some ambika rathi has stolen my poem and posted it here…

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/make-her-smile/

I have posted my comments there with ample proof of writing the poem originally…. I request you people to support me on that site as well. I won’t stop at anything less than an apology in written and removal of my work from the site and all other possible locations.

Please support me.

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