Category: result


Well …sorry for not posting “the” post… thing is… off late I have been jinxed sort of when it comes to accidents… and as usual/unusual… I had an accident yesterday….no major injuries…but I am bedridden for another two days…. So posting one of my articles here posted by me on one of my friends’s blog.

FYI– I am still writing the post 😐


What do you do when you do not know the purpose of your life, what you are meant to do?

Wanna know?

You opt for an MBA.

Yes, stupid as it may look at first sight, it is the truth which we all know deep inside our hearts. Be it an IT guy who works for 15-17 hours a day, gets paid for just 8-9 and dreams of studying when he reaches home (while swallowing the already cold dinner), all so that he could perform well in some MBA exam and get into a decent B-school, or be it an engineer working in a steel plant or an automobile manufacturing company, exhausted because of the physical exertion and the pathetic work environment she/he has to face day in and day out.

Most common reasons for people taking up MBA? Well.. The list is very simple..

1. I do not like my job. (But I do not know if I would like the MBA job or not!)

2. I want a higher salary. (But the fees in MBA colleges are so high… Will I be able to save anything in the initial years?)

3. I did a mistake by studying engineering. I should have saved an year. (But could I have acquired the same mental ability and level of thinking?)

4. Well, everyone is doing it. It can’t be wrong!!! ( Like everyone was doing drugs and open sex in 70s in US!) or I like the tag of MBA after my name. (Well, is it not that I am paying a lot for a tag?!) or I always wanted to do an MBA (Because my uncle’s sister’s son did it when I was in 10th grade and now he is so well placed!)

5. I have a dream. I want to acquire the required skills to fulfill that dream. I believe in myself and I know what exactly I am doing.

Well, now decide which category do you fall in. I am asking you this because some 6 months ago when I asked myself, I fell in the first category. That was before I lost my job. Afterwards, it has been quite a different story for me. Anyways, that’s a completely different story. Fast, forward, I had my CAT results in hand and was completely devastated. So devastated that I once doubted the very reason behind doing an MBA. All those mocks, all those 99+%iles, all those excuses from office in the name of bad health, all just for one reason – MBA. It was a very tough phase for me. I even termed MBA as a sheer waste of money.

Now, unless you are sure you fall in the 5th and the last category, I’d suggest you should review your situation as you might be wasting both your time and money after the highly coveted, distastefully advertised and much advocated “MBA” .

See, I am a metallurgical engineer by degree, so it would be best for me to explain taking myself as an example. Before I took the course up, I didn’t even know what is metallurgy. Right now, I can’t say I am the best metallurgist ever, I can sure say that I know the “what and how” of metallurgy. And given that I have a degree in metallurgy, I should be working somewhere in TATA Steel, JSW Bellary, ISPAT, VIZAG, SAIL or any of the Steel manufacturing companies in India. I have never ever been to even one of them (except for the one day visits we had in college days). In fact, I worked with one of the leading software companies of India for almost two years before realizing that I have wasted my two years. It is a real pain in the posterior to have the constantly nagging thought in your mind that the code you are writing doesn’t make sense when seen in light of what you have studied all your life. You were not made for this!!! Then I started preparing for CAT, or MBA in general, What followed next was nothing less of a dream run. I had great mocks, above average CAT and one devastating section. Results. NOT QUALIFIED. Some dreams do turn into nightmares. Also, it wasn’t only my CAT dream that got shattered. A lot more was at stake.

Though I had appeared for MBA exams in season 2006 and 2008 too, with little success, I decided to give it another go. Then I realised one thing. I studied Metallurgy, worked in a software company and now wanted to go for an MBA! Why in the first place did I not go for a metallurgy job? The one area where I am certified to work!! I literally fought with myself. I pitched various reasons for not doing a job in metallurgy. None worked. I am applying for a job in the steel industry now.

Now let me put it like this.

You give up metallurgy to go into the software sector, thinking it would boost your career like anything and that you would be earning big bucks in a year or two. WAKE UP!!! My company had announced two months ago that there would be no appraisals this fiscal year. Same is the situation with the other players in this field. Now picture yourself if you were selected in a Metallurgy based company. My friends in SAIL are earning more than double of what I used to get when I left my job. Two damn years and all you get is a work experience certificate, and a lesson about why not to be a software engineer (Believe me or not, I am still writing that book for the last 1 year). To hell with that!!! Nothing like the Cinderella dream you had while sitting for that PPT in college.

Well … I think I should rather write what I intended to write in first place. Let’s get back to the categories and see what is wrong in doing an MBA for the wrong reasons.

Well, job is not a very pleasant thing, barring the paycheck that comes at the end of the month (which of course is NEVER ENOUGH). Everyone wants to be the least exploited employee. Believe me, employers do exploit you, you cannot run away from that. It is ubiquitous. Get on with your job and try to learn the basics of it, especially if you are a fresher, a newbie in your job. You would not like being reprimanded for not being upto the mark by your boss just because of some carelessness. Landing a great job is one thing and doing it is quite another. You might think that the job you are currently in is not the right one for you. Believe me, even the Home Minister would rather be the Prime Minister. But, if you can not deliver w.r.t. the responsibilities you are entrusted with today, you will never be able to do the same in any job, no matter how reputed it is!!! So first things first, do not go for an MBA just because you do not like your job, because if you do so, you will never like any job.

Now comes one of the most common reasons – Money. For the last 7-8 years, the placement scenario in the top MBA colleges and even some of the B-rung business schools has changed drastically with respect to what it was say, 15 years ago. One reason – Money!! The astronomical salaries offered by the foreign companies has lured lakhs of youngsters into giving up everything and preparing for “the exam of their life”, as they call it. Who would not want to have a salary of 1 crore rupees? I’d love to!!! What we forget is the investment required to get into these business schools and the slogging required to repay that investment. No one pays 1 crore to the whole staff … not even in their wildest dreams!! If you are thinking that a day will come when every student passing from IIMs will get a crore plus salary, stop hallucinating right now!!! It will always be a one-in-hundred case. And it is very much possible that you end up in the median range of salaries, i.e. 12 lakhs per annum … tastes bitter na?? That is the truth my friend! And not to forget the huge loan you took for bearing the expenses. You are supposed to pay it also … (No, I am not joking!) So, My friend, there you are, with a CTC of 12 lakhs (The in-hand figure will be even lesser) and with a loan of the magnitude of ATLEAST 10+ lakhs. I hope I didn’t crush your plans of buying a SUV in your first year.

Many people say, “Why MBA after engineering?” Well, there is a very common answer, “I want to move to a faster career track and I think I should not have done engineering in the first place. It should have gone for a simple graduation, or even better, a BBA!”

Well, let me tell you this, never ever regret doing engineering (Well, I agree there are less beautiful girls in engineering, but once you are out of college, life’s heaven!!). Being an engineer myself, I once had the same dilemma but soon I realised the advantages I had by virtue of being an engineer. I have the analytical mind and the systematic thought process that was nurtured by the books and labs I suffered during the 4 golden years of engineering. And it is not a waste of one year. Please keep in mind the extra knowledge you get by investing one more year. Plus, maths is an added advantage (apart from learning the know-how about impressing girls). You sure would need basic maths in your MBA … right???

MBA is not a degree I am against, but I believe that only those should opt for it who really want to do it. IT is not a carnival where everyone can come and do a samba dance. In the same way, MBA is not for everybody. The situation nowadays reminds me of post independence (or was it post 60s-70s?), when there was a rush among parents in India to make ONLY doctors and engineers out of their kids, blatantly stating that these were the only respectable professions. Everyone seems mad about MBA and wants to do it at any cost. Engineers are doing it, doctors are doing it, reporters are doing it, everybody … I even know a professional dancer and a painter who are wannabe MBAs. I mean who will build the dams then – the unskilled workers? Who will operate upon a patient in a critical condition – a compounder? Who will collect the headlines for the news channels for the public to watch – an informer?

The answer is pretty simple and we all know that. NO!

Everyone is not meant to do everything. There has to be some difference between the skill sets people have. Society is made up of variety, not monotonousness. You have to recognize what you are really best at and go for that. That might not be the best paying job ever, but that would be one field where you will get maximum out of yourself and will climb the ladder in the best way possible.

Last, but not the least is the person who knows what she/he is doing by opting for an MBA. Such people need not be acquainted with the intricacies of business management, its not necessary for them to know all the keywords and financial terms. What matters is that one knows what is the next step – May it be adjusting to the hectic schedules of life in a business school after already qualifying a tough examination or the even tougher professional life after the placements. Remember it, such people know how to face the challenge that will come their way after they are done with the the current one. You need to have a broader insight and clear plan about your future if you wish to do an MBA. Its not just a Masters degree, its more than that. Its the investment of two of the most precious years in your life, a lot of effort and of course, a hell lot of money. And these people know how to get most out of an MBA – not just the money, but the quality of learning and the ability to implement the same in real life.

So, my friends, I suppose you are the best judge of yourselves. Just give this article a thought and do not take it as any other Gyan ka Article. I bet my bottom dollar that you would find a reason inside you, either to do an MBA or not to …

All the Best. 🙂

PS : After fighting with myself, I have agreed to allow myself to take CAT 2009. The condition is that I have to justify to myself, why exactly I want to do an MBA. If the reasons fall in any but the 5th category, I would not allow myself to go for it. I’d be doing the job I was meant to do, I was taught to do.


At last… After missing Proc Mock 1 and Proc mock 2, not to forget numerous moct cat exams and AIMCAT 1020,1019,1018,1017 and 1016, I got myself enrolled into TIME and CL test series. It was really getting too late and I am glad I enrolled myself finally. I always wondered what it could be like to take a test online?? I mean, last year I did take some tests online by CL, but to take these tests in a real test environment was an experience which was completely alien it.
So on fateful day of 2nd August, after requesting my CL centre coordinator to get me a slot when there was non available on SIS , I got the 10 am slot.

Whoa!! It took quite some time to get connected after entering the centre code into my sis test taking system. And lo! it was hanging time and again… So I was transferred to a different computer and started my test.

1st Blood :- I was shocked to see there were just two sections, instead of three. Actually I should not have been so much surprised, but as I was out of touch with CAT and its world, it took me quite some time to understand what was in front of me. Two sections, overall 80 questions. QA+LRDI in one section and EURC in another. 4 marks for a correct one, and -1 for every wrong one. “Well, that’s easy!!”, I thought to myself.

30 minutes into the test:-

“Damn it”, I told myself and checked my attempts. just 6 😐 This was really getting on my nerves. I was lagging in my favorite section, the one I always thought to be my stronghold. The reason :- My lack of practice with QA and LRDI was taking its toll on me. I wondered if I really needed a reality check.

1 hours 30 minutes gone :-

“Hmmmm.. not so bad”, I looked at the count of attempts and it said 17…hmmm… though not upto my standards, it still was a satisfaction. 90/17 =5.xx minutes per question. Not that bad if the accuracy was as much as I was calculating.

“60 minutes more…”

I clicked on the EURC section tab. 40 questions…60 minutes… I had pre-decided about this section to attempt as many questions in this section. I started with all non-RC questions, especially the sentence correction ones and fill in the blanks.

30 minutes remaining:-
Only RCs were left. “It’s Time…”, I told myself and started the RC section with all my enthusiasm.
Philosophical RCs have always been my most hated ones, not because they are so abstruse, but because they do not know themselves what they are meant to describe. they start with something, describe something else, and end with a completely new thing. It’s really irritating to spend 10 minutes and learn that it’s not worth attempting.

Anyways, I had decided to attempt maximum questions, so I stuck to my strategy and attempting even the most boring RCs and just hoped the results were as good as I expected them to be.

150 minutes :-
Test was over and it auto submitted itself.

I clicked on the link to check expected percentile.

89%ile was what the mail sent to me from CL people read.
I was really shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I expected something like 95+ %ile.

Later, after some days when the complete solutions came out, I came to know that I had got 97%ile in EURC, my weakest link till that day.

The even bigger shock was in the form of my QA+LRDI %ile. Just 67%ile.

I wasn’t shocked, but I decided to give my QA+LRDI proper attention and turn this performaance into a positive one.

i am still working on it.

Will post soon about my trysts with CAT preparations.

hmmm… Nice title…what you think? I think it is pretty good. Nice way to start a rather controversial issue. Well, not everyone agrees with me, but then, I never ask anyone to. :p

Back to the topic again, “Are you suffocating?” I mean, I am not talking about that cigarette that you smoked 37 minutes ago, neither about how you are feeling in the loo this early morning. No…. I prefer to talk about them rather straight forwardly . Arghhhhh…ok ok..

When was the last time you really felt at peace with her/him without wanting to feel so? I mean, you should not be looking for internal satisfaction, it should be always there, right? I have seen many relationships; not to forget some of mine too; where either one or the both of the participants(well a rather crude term to use, but then, lets be frank here at least) were just pretending so much to show the other one that they were happy that they almost forget the real meaning of happiness. It is not something which takes a ticket and catches a train, so that it can reach to you at a specified time and place. I hope you do not have that notion of happiness.

So do you feel a longing inside you even now? Despite having so many parties to attend together, how many times do you have dinner together on a non-party day? Is the relationship only meant for parties? I mean okay, in Indian context I am not going to be focusing much on Live-in relationships(though I want to, and I promise will write on it someday), still having a dinner with your better half is no more a taboo in Indian culture!! At least I do not think so! So, tell me, despite him doing so many “cute” and “sweet” things for you, how many times it had been the case that you have expected him to show some more love and were disappointed, only to put up a face still smiling and never telling him how you felt. You’d rather tell your inner self that everything is okay and it is the way life goes. Does it?? Is it what you wanted 1 year back? Are the scenarios same? Are you afraid of talking to him about the issues on your mind? Or are you too afraid of letting go of the stability in your life? Afraid of feeling like a loser?

For guys, I think I can explain your agony with your loved one much better as I am a guy(yes…stop grinning). “Why was her cell busy despite her telling about her studying and not being able to talk to me”, or “Is there someone else”, or “Why is she behaving so strange” to “Why she always starts the same issue…I told her there is nothing between me and my ex!!!” . Remember something??? :p Yes…that’s the way with guys, they will think all this, and will never ask the other one just because they are too afraid and insecure about making things worse than they already are. Wake up guys, it is the best thing to mouth your fears rather than accumulating them inside which often results in bizarre results. It is never wrong to say what is in your mind…never

So .. all I want to say is that do not suffocate… rise up and say what is inside your mind…if the other person loves you so much as both of you think, there should not be any space for such holes in a relationship which suck away all the melody from it.

How often do you find a person who is an Engineer,Doctor,Journalist,Teacher etc etc etc, and is preparing for MBA? Not quite often? Well, I guess you are a loner, you do not socialize at all then.
Out of 10 people I meet, 7 are preparing for MBA or thinking about it as they “think”(I doubt that) that it would “give a boost” to their careers. Some say they want a better paycheck(Now this I can understand, but still have issues with it), while others say that it is their “Dream”. Still many are out there who simply are not too sure of the reason, but again they “think” it must be good, since everyone is doing it( Like it’s some new form of sex…eh…)

Well, why do we feel the need in first place to get an MBA degree? Is it the money?Or the career boost (or bournvita for that reason) thing? Or is it just a hazy dream(do not confuse with “wet dreams”) ? My question is, is it really what we think it is?

No! It is not that. There has to be more to it. Don’t you want to become someone else because you failed in becoming what you were meant to be, what you were taught to be. You failed to grasp the engineering concepts and today you are at complete loss as to how to direct the workers under you to fix a certain machine which stopped working last weekend. You failed to understand your networks paper properly(spending too much time checking girls out in the class?) and the result is today you can’t fix the issue in creating a secure network at your workplace. Or do you find yourself at the abyss of self confidence when it comes to manage your class, or reporting an accident to your local newspaper office?

So you have decided to run away. Great. You are on your way to become a certified loser. I would not stop you. Why? Simple, you would go on committing such mistakes, giving me apt reason and matter to write on(you see, writing is my hobby…and I sure enjoy it). Also, it would take more than just an advice to make you realise that you have committed a mistake by taking up MBA course at the cost of abandoning your current profession. It will take you a very much coveted MBA job to realise that. The moment when you realise that the MBA job is even tougher than your previous job, you would feel like running away from there also. And I bet you would not have any place to go then. Why? Ask yourself, weren’t it you who abandoned all you had just to get that “dream” fulfilled, to get that “extra money”, to have your share of career”boost”(I prefer complan and bournvita btw) and to get that sense of “I am doing it the right way as everyone is doing it that way…So what if I am getting screwed? Everyone is!!” Well I don’t think you would have same notions about all this MBA things then as you have now.

I am not advocating against MBA or something. I am just saying, do not go for it thinking that it will “change the course of your life”, because it would not. If you think running away from your responsibilities can make you immune to them, or can transform you into something who would learn other things quite effortlessly, then either you are a genius, or you-know-who. Riding up the ladder is not a bad thing, it never is! But jumping from one ladder to another just because yours had a tilted leg puts you in a grave danger. You do not have your ladder which you knew so well, and you will have to balance yourself on a new ladder which will sure take more time and even more effort.

So be sure about this MBA thing before you fill up the forms.. 😛

PS:- All this was written in a hazy state of mind, under the effect of studying hacking, web designing, Quants, EURC , hard rock music and a resolution of being smoke free(and hopefully liquor free) for a lifetime(which is not gonna end anywhere soon, not atleast for next 50-60 years)

>If you could remember, I posted my CAT story from Pagalguy sometime back. That was the first part of my story. I am posting now the second part, which is by no means the final one, as I am yet to script my story. Will post the final part sometime next year when I am sure my war with CAT is over. Here is the post I wrote:-

Continued from

CAT’s a coffee shop on the highway (All I wanted to Speak about CAT)

Well… I had penned down my experience till 2007 season before, but thought of writing the things that happened thereafter as I have learnt new things during last one year. First of all my apologies to those who might find it rather long and unnecessary in first place, I just had to write it, if only for my own sake.

A job which keeps you engaged from 7 in the morning till 10-11-12 in the night is not the most optimum one to prepare for the MBA exams (especially CAT) side by side. Reasons? Well… you would not like it when its 1 am in the morning while you are munching ( or shall I rather say, swallowing) your dinner while reading the funda books or a novel. You keep studying till 3-4 am in the morning and wake up again at 7 in the morning, only to realise that the washroom is occupied and you will be again running after your company bus for the umpteenth time this week. You sure make good friends with the rickshaw wallahs and the driver and conductor of the bus this way though. I am sure you would like to spend your time in a better manner than this.

Well, the only one good thing Mumbai traffic has given me is the plenty of time in the bus to study and to sleep. Its really a bliss when the bus is stuck in the traffic and you are solving mathematics, the concentration you can create is AWESOME…I loved doing that. Besides, it also meant I would be spending less time in office and so the burden would be lesser than usual(or so I thought…lol).

Now comes the office part. One lesson. Never ever tell anyone in your office( unless they are completely harmless or are your bestest of friends) that you are preparing for MBA. Not at least when she/he is your PM/BDO/Senior Manager. It helps little to your already hectic schedule when you are reprimanded on not finishing the given task within the time frame(which of course is lesser than the life span of antimatter). Also, it is very much probable that you will be taunted that your work is getting affected due to your MBA preparations(They seldom think its the other way round). Huh.

Well…do not let your senior know of the MBA sites you have been surfing of late. She/He might as well stalk you there too and ask you to not to use these sites and rather concentrate on your work. USE LUNCH TIME FOR ALL READING(IF YOU CAN DO WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT). HAVE LUNCH WHEN YOUR SENIOR RETURNS FROM THE LUNCH.

Get back on the first bus to home rather than waiting and working in the office till 10 pm in the night. It is really irritating when you have to do that as you know that you will not be getting enough time to study and sleep early and that you will be caught in the loop again.

Well… Now you know what I went through last 1 year. I enrolled into CL weekend classes and surprised myself by performing really good. I mean, I got 74%ile in the diagnostic mock. And thereafter I improved myself pretty good. I never felt like I was out of touch or something like that. But the real surprise came when I took the 1st mock. I got a pretty decent 95+%ile. It was really morale boosting. Thereafter I kept studying regularly.


Practice regularly even if you think you are very good in some specific section. Do not become complacent. Also, give more time to your weak section and do not just ignore or believe your mock scores. They are like convex mirrors… “Images in the mirror are closer than they look” Remember na??I scored almost at an average of 96-97%ile….barring a few occasions, when I crossed 99.97%ile once and also 78%ile. Apart from those mocks…95-99 was my domain, and I thought I was pretty much on the track. At least I thought that….


The PG meets meanwhile were an eye-opener for me. I have made many friends through these meets, and have learnt a lot from them. Some of them are pursuing their MBAs this year, while some will start the journey with me. I even got selected in Mumbai Dream team in PGPL, which failed finally. But it has given me such a network of friends that I do really feel proud to among them. Someday, I want to make them proud of me too.(I know, it would be an exception…lol)Well, the forms were out and as I had planned, I filled almost all of my choice of colleges. I wonder though, why do CAT people do not come out with the correct solutions within a week of the exam. This way we students/aspirants would not have to fill up each and every damn form. Is it so that CAT people do not have proper solutions to the questions before conduction the exam? Is it so??? to CAT management committee.Well, I think I spent around 14k on the MBA forms last year. Would not be repeating the mistake this time round. Hit something…some CAT question from CAT 2009…. hospital rounds??? lol … Anyways, I went on an extensive 20 day vacation to my native place(not before fighting with my seniors a lot for extending it from 15 to 20 days). It helped me a lot in becoming the complacent Navi I am famous for. I really became complacent in the name of taking lesser tension. It seems that’s when I lost it.

Come C-Day and the first thing I remember is when I was out of the Examination hall. The 150 minutes were a blur. All I could remember was that there were 40 questions in EURC(my nemesis the last time round), and 25-25 in other two sections. Quantss initially seemed tough to me, but then I chose the right questions and solved 12 of them. DI again was too much math-a-pachhi doing, but I seemed to find a way round and solved only the right questions. 10 in DI.

Now I turned to my nemesis. EURC. I saw the watch. I had 55 minutes. I browsed through the section and found it rather easy. NO FIJS…lol… Some sentence corrections, some RCs, some grammar mistakes…”That’s all?? “, I asked myself. BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE. For once again, I became complacent. It cost me speed and accuracy, both. And finally an IIM seat. I could solve only 18 when others did 24-30 and some even all questions.

Final results.
QA- 12 attempted-All correct-48 marks..98.xx %ile
LRDI- 10 attempted- All correct-40 marks.. 97%ile
EURC 18 attempted- 8 correct-10 incorrrect-22 marks- A PATHETIC 64.xx %ile…

FINAL- 95.12%ile

Calls. IMT-G,TAPMI,IMI-Delhi
I was devastated.
Even XAT could not get me through. Just 97%ile.
JMET- not qualified.
FMS – not qualified
SNAP – uski to
IIFT -not qualified( unki bhi )

Finally Attended only IMT-G and IMI-D GD-PIs. Skipped TAPMI after reaching the college(They were asking for 10 L as course fee)
Meanwhile, I lost my job one fine day after slogging for 15 hours on average in office. Reason:- No reason. Unki bhi
I went through 2 breakups during this time which added no respite to my already going bad phase. But , but but but, 1 thing I learnt that no matter no one stands by me, I will always be there for myself.

Most of the first half of this year, I have been busy looking for a new job, not in software/private sector anymore. Stability is the word for me this time, in the government sector. I do not know where this quest will lead me and I have had my share of doubts over my ability. But I have come through all of them, with full faith in myself and now again I am preparing for season 2009. Though I still have to enrol for any test series, I will do it soon and when I am there, I know I will sail through this sea of uncertainty.

I wish next time I write my experience, its all on a positive note and I have at last something to boast of and to be proud about.

PS:- Do not go seeing off your ex on CST airport. It makes you more emotional and weak than you would ever want to be.

See you friends… see you soon

Till then…. Rock ON…

P.P.S. :- Most important lesson I learnt was to struggle in the worst of the times. Though I am still struggling hard with circumstances, I have the belief and more importantly, a guard against complacency this time. I just hope I peak at the right time, not like the last time, when I peaked too early and went down thereafter.

>Well… I posted this article about an year back on Pagalyguy. I thought of sharing it with you all.
You can access the original one here.. MY CAT STORY

Well…perhaps the first time I got aware of CAT “the exam ” was in 2003(yes even way back in 2003, I was equally ignorant), all kudos to Ranjit “Don”, the guy who leaked the papers. That time I thought,”The exam must be a very important one if such a mass level hysteria is in the general public!!”(Yes, I heard one of my elder cousins saying”Dammit…fir se padhna hoga 3 months…”):laugh:

Back then, I was in 12th standard with my results out and my dream of getting into IITs shattered…Also my hopes of fetching respectable marks in XIIth board examination were shattered when I almost flunked in my optional subject.And alongwith that dream, another one that kept me awake(The girl whom I loved all those two years …11th,12th and could not say a single word to her…Man I was some loser material back then!!!), came to an end as I had to return to my home, and she was still in Ranchi.:huh:

However less the margin be,a failure is still a failure. :idea:And I faced a dozen of them(missing the cut offs by silly margins) while looking at my career with a distraught look on my face.That was the first time in my life when I started helping myself out,thinking logically and sorting out the things as they are supposed to be, instead of expecting some miracle to happen and make life heaven..Puys who are reading this, note, “THERE ARE NO MIRACLES, ONLY ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS WHICH LOOK MIRACULOUS TO THOSE WHO DON’T WISH TO MOVE THEIR BUTT”:bigear:

Anyways, time passed quickly once I got into a nice Engg. college…not those biggies…but still a nice one(Yeah that’s what you say when you don’t get what you desire…get habituated to it as there will be many things in your life which you wont be getting…CAT might just being one of them…So make CAT something which doesn’t damage your life if u don’t get it)College life was good…we enjoyed(like everyone in college…and we rocked…even if no one cared..New friends,new freedom and a single room…what more can a bachelor ask for??

Then came 2nd year and I heard some of my seniors preparing for CAT…i was surprised!!”Why are they preparing for another exam when they have got comfortable jobs??”, was the first question that popped in my mind.I simnply could not understand why they were trying for something to study when they were having their engg. degree…Why they were trying to put in vain everything they learnt in 4 years?

Anyways, many students in my college joined a nearby coaching centre(a famous one).I followed the suit and asked my parents for a huge sum(13500 INR, which was later invested in making calls to my so-called-GF, the same girl from Ranchi, my school days). They asked what it was for, I told them I wish to do MBA.:sarcasm:

Surprisingly, they were delighted!!So, I enrolled into the institute for 1 week trial period.Also attended the first class and performed well. BUT(yes that’s a big but), never went for the classes ever again. No special reason,I thought it was too much of an effort to maintain a discipline of going to classes(Now when I think of this, going to CL classes every weekend, and managing my hectic job as well, I just smile at what I was at that time).
Anyways, the CAT saga for my 2nd year was only this much and noting much happened afterwards.

Come 3rd year and everyone was mugging up the books and magzines and every single source of any information…GOD!!I came to know a bit later..1 months…that they were all preparing for the campus selection which would take place at the end of 3rd year. In my usual style, I brushed away the concern saying, “The first person to be selected for campus from our batch is ME”. Many people hated me for saying that. Perhaps they still do. I don’t care.

As the pre final year drew to a close, we had our University examination and the first company was scheduled to visit the college merely 5 days after the last exam.Infosys.Yes,like many others, that was my dream job also(Now I sometimes thank GOD taht all my dreams don’t come true!!).GOT REJECTED IN PI ROUND.Cried for the first time on phone while talking to my parents. Anyways, time flies by quickly and seldom we give a thought to the fact that how priorities change(form college to gf…from gf to job…again from job to gf….from gf to career…from career to family…and finally from everyone to one’s true self). My GF dumped me(perhaps for the 100th time in 5-6 years) and I started once again from the scratch.Sharing things with my diary was nothing new and now that I was all alone(barring a few friends who always have been alongside, come what may), it felt nice to vent out all the frustration on my diary.

10th-11thjuly-2006.Got the job. Not my dream job, certainly, but still,a slice of a cake is better than a hungry and aching stomach.That fateful night me and some of my closest friends decided to go for the CAT as now we dint have anything to be bothered about(Job in hand..GF gone…it really becomes a free life!!). Filled the form and started preparing in a group.I knew it from always quants was my stronghold and used to score 35-40% in it(read % ,not %ile) and DI section was also in the place. What worried me most was my performance in EURC section. I did get good scores, but was not consistent.

Never took a mock test all the way and suffered as a result.FIJs.Yes I know you are aware of them now but on the C-day in 2006, that was like a lightening bolt from hell…and it did struck me.Got a pathetic 1 in EURC(after calculating 32 a/c CL and 28 a/c IMS). 99.5%ile in QA and 95.3%ile in LRDI were not enough to help me cross the barrier and the year ended up as a disaster.

Took JMET and XAT also, cleared the cut off for JMET but never got into the merit list of any of the colleges.

CAT-2007:- Didn’t fill the form coz of a newly joined job and a desire to get atleast some work ex along with some experience of working in an office.

CAT-2008:- Working on it. Hoping to add something more to my not so illustrious career just in order to be able post here with some proud.

P.S.:- If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Thinking about my GF of 7 years??Dont think much friends….she’s married now..not meeeeee..some other guy…Life goes on …and no one cares..This, by no means is the end of the saga…I’ll see if I can sail through or get drowned….Coz if I sail through,its all ok…and if by chance i drown, he he he…then i’ll get a whole new world to explore.
CAT is by no means the end of the road for me. I believe in oppurtunities….not the results…I think of CAT as one of the many roads which I travel in my journey of life. What if I fail? No issues…I do lose…everyone does sometime…but the point is…that when you lose, don’t lose the lesson. I want to learn as much as I can from my pursuit of CAT.Also, this by no means to represent the whole story….abi to poori kahaani baaki hai…this is just the prologue…

we’ll see….and we’ll rock!!!

>I was thinking. I was at it again. There were thoughts of insanity and a madness to do something again. In short, I was feeling lonely after a long long time. It might be due to the monotonous life I have been living for quite sometime now. Perhaps I need a change. I have wondered about this question a million times, “Why do I need a change every now and then?”, without a success with the answer. It happens all the time.

At first, I was afraid to go away from my home after class 10th. Thought I would not like the world. I did. I enjoyed Ranchi. I enjoyed company of my friends and my cousin. I enjoyed seeing the girl I loved. I enjoyed her smile, talking to her and her anger. I enjoyed it all. Then things happened. I was broken. I wanted to be back in my ever safe shelter, my home, Pusa. I didn’t enjoy Ranchi anymore.

I was in class 12 and wanted to go back to home ASAP the exams were over. I went home after the exams finished. I enjoyed “ghar ka khana” after a long long time for a long long time. i enjoyed the safe sanctuary of my parents where none could hurt my feelings and where all my wounds started to heal slowly.i started studying for Engineering entrances in a much more disciplined manner now. But met with little success. I had to face my parents and their
questioning glances all the time. My every action was being looked upon with a mixture of disgust and pity.

Then eventually I got bored of home!!! I wanted to break free and get a life of my own, ruled by my own rules(I am still fighting over this one). I wanted freedom. Seems it was too much to ask for a 17 year old boy. I wanted to get away from my home. And I wanted it badly. I really wanted freedom.

I succeeded one odd time in one of the exams. I got into a college. I started to enjoy the newly found freedom. I enjoyed the friends and girls. I started to enjoy a hell lot more than that. I enjoyed life. It was all perfect. Then came the monotonous and quiet part of the college. Campus selection and exams. Along with came poverty, with not enough in pockets to feed ourselves. Reason being the parties we have been throwing off late.

I was bored with my college life and I wanted a job. I wanted money and to enjoy it now. To get everything life could offer and to live my life to the fullest. College finished and I joined my job. I enjoyed the new place, big city, Mumbai. I enjoyed the thousands of bucks inflowing into my first ever bank account and I enjoyed the chicks here. I loved this life. I thought, “Yes! I wanted this all the time”. I was wrong.

I started to get bored in my job. I found out that its too tough to move up the ladder here, especially in this company. I wondered why I always wanted to be a software engineer. I discovered that despite being exceptionally good at maths, I was just average at programming. I started to hate this job which taught nothing and made a zombie out of me. I understood that this is not what I want. I got a new interest meanwhile.

I wanted to get into a good MBA college now. I hated my job like hell. I wanted to quit. I waited due to the bond money. I prepared hard for one long year. I performed well in the mocks. I failed though, finally. Just 95.12%ile.
I was shattered. I started concentrating on my job again. I knew i had ignored it too long for not to be punished.

Eventually I got some calls and though I tried hard, failed to convert them. I lost the job too meanwhile.

I was sort of free now. The freedom I had always craved for. I enjoyed this too, but came to terms with hard fact that I am not earning anymore. I realised how hard it is to survive in a city like mumbai without earning. I started looking out for a job. I thought it will be easier, but it is not.

Now I am feeling very lonely and left out. And now I do realise some of the wrongs I have done in my life. I realise now that I should be more disciplined regarding myself and my life.

Still, there is a crazy Navi sitting inside my heart, wanting me to do the things I want to do and not what I should do.

I am confused. I am lost.

Finally, I was going to Ranchi and I was happy about it. Not that I wanted it whole heartedly though. Me and Ma pondered over a million issues that will arise and used each and every of them as an excuse against sending me. There were fears of me not being able to adjust in a place away from my family. There were fears and rumours of ragging being very harsh in “these” schools in cities. I was also afraid of a few things. I have never been away from my family for more than barely 5 days. So it was natural for me to fear what could be out there in the world.

I knew i will get to see many things that were not here in Pusa. I knew that life will never be the same as I will be on my own although I would be living with my chacha’s family. It was understood that now I am supposed to be a more responsible and confident person than I had been till that time. I was happy about the fact that I would be tasting the wine of independence and will enjoy every moment of it.

After many sessions with Ma and Papa, and some telephonic conversations with chacha, chachi and chiku, I was getting to get rid of the fear thaat had been in my insides for so many days. It was decided that I will be going to DAV JVM Shyamali, the same school my cousin Chiku used to go. Plan was to make the two of us study together and keep us in strict discipline of chacha. :p

Anyways, me and papa went to Ranchi and I got admitted in the school based on my Xth board marks. I was really proud of myself. I got afternoon session, to my delight as it would mean that I would be attending school in a complete new timing. “It will be great experience.”, I thought to myself. Anyways, we returned soon and went to Vaishno Devi for week.I wish I could go one more time.

When we returned, there was barely anytime for us to be with each other(me and my family). Shopping and discussions were all we could think. My parents always kept telling me how to behave and what not to do. There were days when I saw Ma crying for I will be leaving in a matter of 4-5 days. She always loved me most, even though when I have behaved in a very bad manner with her at times. Perhaps there are some things which only parents can feel. I always get amused at why they keep worrying about me. But then, that’s what all parents do. Their children are their motive of life. I should perhaps behave much more better with them. They deserve more than what I give them. 😦

Anyways, came the fateful day of 28th June, exactly one month after my results were announced, and I left for an unknown city. Behind I left not only my parents, but my friends and my childhood. I was a child no more. I would not be getting the comfort of my OWN house and the food from my Ma’s kitchen. I would not have my father by my side to support me nor my little sister to play with and get angry at. I knew that new things were waiting for me. New friends, new things, new life.

What I didn’t think was that there would be a girl also.

>It was like diwali, though it was hot humid summer!!! I will never forget the happenings of the day. Celebration at home, for I had scored highest all over in Pusa. I was on cloud 9. Guests were pouring in, hearing of the news and were congratulating my parents. It was like a festival. I gave my friends a mini-treat in the evening and was roaming out when I glanced at my watch. 7:30 pm. “Mar gaye! Itna late? Aaj to pukka daant padegi….”I accelerated my bicycle with this thought and reached home in less than 5 minutes(Pusa is a quite small place, you see). I was surprised to find so many people there. Some i knew, but mostly my father’s collegues and completely stranger to me. So I simply did namaste to all and after standing there for 10 minutes or so, excused myself to a glass of water and slipped back into my room.

Silence. I could literally hear my heartbeat. I knew my life will change from now on. I knew the value of this achievement. Little did I realize that there are changes in life which can ruin it too. I was a hopeless optimist back then too, as I am now. I waited for the guests to leave. Once it was just me and my family, I asked Ma,”Khana kya bana rahi ho?”. “Chicken” replied Ma. I was happy for the umpteenth time that day. Chicken was my favourite dish. Somethings never change… I still remember the discussions going on between Ma and Papa after talking to chacha. My cousin, Chiku had also passed with good scores. Apparently, chacha had asked Papa to send me to Ranchi for higher studies and Ma was against it! I then remembered that a month ago, at a gathering in our village for a function, chacha had told Papa to send me to Ranchi if I get good marks in the board examination. Papa had shown his interest too. “But that was one month ago!! I mean, … kehne se kya ho jata hai…I am not going anywhere”, I thought to myself. I was really scared of leaving the safe haven of my home and going out for studies to some unknown place. When I think of this fear now….I just smile to myself. 9 years away from home….Its been quite a while. I was never the homesick person I always thought I was…

>12:45 pm

More than three hours had passed. University power had just restored after the transformer went boom. Three hours!!! We chatted about the tutions, syllabus, about how one can have bio+maths, and about girls. I thought to myself, “Why these guys always keep talking about girls and all that stuff? Don’t they have anything better to do?” I was really very shy of girls back then. And of a lot more things.

1:00 pm

Everyone was either joyous or morose. I was none. I was simply nervous, and like hell! Me and friends were crowding the ARIS cell of university. Some have seen their results and others were waiting. I was wondering, “What if i didn’t….?” Suddenly i heard a voice, “Navneet! Results aaya kya? ” I turned around and saw Papa standing there. My nervous face told him the answer. He said,”Ok chalo, I’ll handle it”. Pushing through the crowd, he got in the glass cabin which was not allowed for us students/outsiders. I saw he was talking with the official sitting inside and in two mins, I was standing next to the Internet enabled Desktop. 🙂

The score card read:-

Maths- 93
Science- 95
English- 85
Hindi -92
Social studies- 79

I turned to Papa and touched his feet. I had got 88.8% percent, higher than anyone in the whole Pusa. It was like something happening which I never even dreamt of even in my dreams! I went back to home and Ma also gave me my marks. Apparently, she gave my registration number to one of my elder cousins in Patna where internet was easily accessible. I was given a grand welcome at home….mithaai nd all… I was so happy that my family is happy because of me finally. AsI remembered, not very lonjg ago, jus in dec’2000-jan 2001 we faced a very tough time with my name being dragged in a case in school. The prinicipal’s son, who apparently studied in the same class, had accused me and one of my best friends as for abusing him and beating him up. Lol….I have never hurt anyone in the school unless I got in a very messy and dirty fight/argument. I took the entire exam under such pressure and fear of my papers being tampered with. But now that its done and over with, I had a big grin on my face, thinking of what must be going in that little bastard’s mind. I was happy.

>”Miku!, Kahan ho? Tumhaare dost bula rahein hain…”.These were the words i heard on the fateful morning of 28th May 2001, while i was having my morning bath. Having just returned from tutions( a tiring 4 hour affair from 5-9 in the morning), I literally jumped out of the bathroom and struggled with my clothes and the agarbatti in my hand…..”Its OUT!!! Miku jaldi aao…”,I could hear my friends shouting downstairs.With trembling hands and a very nervous heart, I took my bicycle keys and skipped the breakfast to join my friends. “Arre bhookhey pet kahan jaa raha hai???”, Ma shouted. “Ek din naashta nai karunga to mar nai jaaunga”, I thought to myself.

Vineet,Saurabh,Basant,Amitraj,Nishant,Saurabh and 30-40 other friends were waiting for me. It was confirmed, The results for CBSE Xth class examination 2001 were out. Apparently, someone from Muzzaffarpur has informed this sacred news. Everyone was tense and ecstatic at the same time. 40 bicycles on the narrow lanes of PUSA, seemed like we were going to loot some bank. Everyone was talking about how a guy got 82% and was looking for admission in a good school in Patna/Ranchi/Delhi.

I was puzzled! Why do they need to take admission in some other city? Pusa has all tutions! Nagendra Sir for Physics and Chemistry, Maths we can do our own or can ask some seniors and other people if we faced too much of difficulty. I am not going anywhere!!! I wondered how I would live away from my family, a guy who doesn’t take a glass of water by himself, how would such a dependent guy live alone? “Nah, papa mummy humko kahin nai bhezenge apne se durr!!! ” With this thought and firm belief in myself, I headed for Bank Chowk, the epicentre of almost every happening in Pusa.

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