Category: questions


>Writer’s block


>Writer’s block 😦

Suggestions needed 😐


>No. I am not going to direct a movie. I mean, thanks for the offer, but I am too busy this summer. Lol. The post title has nothing to do with Bruce Willis either or his fighting skills. Only thing common is the word, “Die” .
You might be thinking why “Die Easy 5.0” ?There are so many easy ways to die, why die the hard way then?

Okay, I’ll get back to my original thought behind this post. It is called, a will to quit smoking. I know there will be many people who would simply laugh this thing away. Its for such people I have titled this post “Die EASY 5.0”. “No one can quit smoking forever”, is one of the most famous statements which I have heard on suggesting my friends to quit smoking. People who smoke take it as a personal offense when someone asks them to quit smoking. I have myself behaved in a very irritated manner when my best friend asked me to quit smoking. I almost stopped talking to her. But she was the one who gave me the confidence in first place that quitting the stick is not a herculean task, but just a matter of self control. She would have been proud of me had she been watching me now. Anyways, that’s a different matter, although of heart, it has nothing to do with smoking. Whatever….

Many people have asked me reasons one must ponder over as to why she/he should boot the cigarette. The reasons are very simple. The most important is INSCRIBED on the pack of cigarettes. I hope you can see that, and if possible, read it too. So next time you buy yourself a pack, try reading things written all over it, and not just the price. It will enlighten you for sure, if you are dumb enough not to know till now.

Why do you smoke? Ask yourself. I am sure your reason must be among the following two:-
1) It makes me look cool.
2) I am addicted to it.

I can bet my 2 cents(yep that’s what I can afford at most ..lol..I dun even have 50 cents) that your reason would not be out of what I have listed above.
It actually starts with an innocent friend hanging out with his friends on a weekend. Or may be someone who has been out of his home for the first time into the INTERESTING and EXCITING world of college life and hostels. Or it may be someone who is simply awed by the stylishness of the way Rajanikanth lights up the cigarettes in between his fight with two dozen goons.
No matter how it starts, there is no “Only just for the first time”. The smoke always attracts the first timers.
A matchbox,a stick and few friends on the rooftop of college hostel. It seems like the perfect setting for masti. Actually, I have seen many chain smokers start like this only. Including me. I remember my first puff. My head spun and lungs wanted to blast off. It was really an “out-of-body” experience, as many of the smokers describe. Only, it was not a pleasant one. I was a smoker for 5 years, but there has not been a single day when I have not hated the smell of cigarette and felt uneasy at the smoke around me. Quite confusing na? These words coming from a chain smoker. Yes, even I think sometimes the reason I smoked when I never really liked it, and I found out that I had made it a part of my life, too integral to be scrapped away like that.

It does become a habit very quickly. Not my word, but from the scientists. I always used to laugh away at this and said that nicotine is NOT addictive. Now I do agree with it. What else can describe the craving for something which you know is bad for you, going to make you pay in order to buy death and going to be something which you will not be proud of telling to your parents. My parents never realized I was into smoking. I never told them either.

Going back to our reasons for smoking… Let’s talk them in detail..It’s actually sort of funny..

Reason-cum-Hallucination no. 1
-It makes me look cool.

Bah!!! ^%^$^%^@#@ I feel like saying many things, but I have to maintain some decency I think. So in one word, BS! If you think smoking is “the one” thing which takes away from you all your UNCOOLNESS and drowns you into a vast ocean of coolness, then I think you should rather consider going to Himalayas. You will feel pretty much cool there… Tell me… Do you really think if some girl sees you smoking she starts fancying you? Do you think that she will talk to you if she saw you smoking? Wake up loser!!! This is the word from the mouth of horse(or donkey) himself… Girls Hate smokers. No one likes to kiss you when your mouth is stinking of the dirty smell of cigarette and your clothes smell of the same. Actually, she would rather prefer to be as away from you as possible. So you see your coolness lands you in a cool pile shit as far as girls are considered. Besides, its no fashion show idiots!! You are not making a fashion statement by lighting that stick. And if you need a lighting stick in order to make a statement about your coolness among your friends, you really need to seriously introspect yourself. Losers!!!

Reason-cum-Hallucination no. 2
-I am addicted to it.

Get over it idiots! There is nothing like that. Addicted…lame excuse of an eternal loser who doesn’t have the balls to face himself in the mirror and tell himself to get his life going the right way. Instead, he simply goes on living the life as it comes and simply shrugs all the troubles in his life away. If you really want to quit smoking, then throw away that pack in your cupboard, or may be in you pocket. And make one simple vow of never touching it. A vow over your self respect, if you still have some left within yourself. If your heart is into quitting it, you will see that how easy it is to avoid it despite numerous chances to light it up and smoke up your life.
All the best you are thinking of quitting.

PS:- Just think what your parents will think of you if they found out you are a smoker. I am over this smoking thing and still unable to tell them that I used to smoke. It is one thing I am ashamed of. I was never so afraid even when I told them about the girl I loved. Now you can yourself assume how shameful it is when you have to uncover this “smoking truth” before your friends.They have too much faith in me. I can’t see it destroyed. I wish I can muster up enough courage someday to tell them about this. Pray For me friends 🙂


>
I think its a dream, i can’t believe its true,
And obviously no one will believe me, no! not even you,
I want to think it can come real,
But fate has a different deal,

I see her there, walking down the stairs,
I feel my heartbeat go fast, wonder if she cares,
I try not to look at her, and go by my business,
But fail to hide my mind, fail to hide this uneasiness,

I avoid looking there, she’s with her friends,
I wonder what makes her smile, wonder how she smells,
I laugh at me, laugh at the things I dream,
I tell myself its never gonna be, that we aren’t meant to be,

So I walk away from her, away from her world,
To someplace where someone cares, where silence can be heard,
I leave this dream lying on the floor,
and with silent steps I walk through the door.


>First of all…the credit for the idea for this post goes to http://voiceswithinspeak.blogspot.com/

It sort of inspired me to write this post…though in past I was tempted a lot to do something like this… but was either too lazy or too busy to do it..now that I am doing it..here it is… 😛

LAST TIMES…
1. Last beverage: Yesterday night…7up 😛
2. Last phone call: Papa
3. Last text message from : Citibank account balance 😐
4. Last song you listened to: I don’t know you anymore
5. Last time you cried: Well… 13 days before 😐

HAVE YOU EVER…
6. Dated someone twice: Yes…
7. Been cheated on? : Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it?: Eh…. No… 😛
9. Lost someone special? Yep…
10. Been depressed? a BIG YEP
11. Been drunk and threw up? hmmmmm…. well yes… 😐 that was once…i mean twice till now 😐

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. Black
14. Black
15. Black

😛

FIRSTS :
16. Made new friends: KG 😛
17. Fallen out of love: hmmm..yes…once… 2 years ago
18. Laughed until you cried: watching hera-pheri 😛
19. Met someone who changed you: yes…only one person..
20. Found out who your true friends were: In college… we stuck together by each other…that’s friendship..right???
21. Found out someone was talking about you: lol…many times….mannnnnnnnny times…

HAVE YOU:
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: Yes…though we are not friends anymore 🙂
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Well….if I go to FB…it should be 10%…orkut 70%…twitter 40%
24. How many kids do you want to have: As long as they do not potty every here and there 😐
25. Do you have any pets: No and neither wanna have…kids are enough to do the potty stuff…
26. Do you want to change your name: I wanted to…. until the revelation
27. What did you do for your last birthday: Talked to myself…something i rarely do
28.What time did you wake up today: 5:25 am 😐
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: Thankfully, sleeping
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for : LIFE
31. Last time you saw your father: 4 months ago 😐
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: LIFE…or ME
33. Most visited web page: FB,GMAIL,BLOG, and GOOGLE NEWS

WHAT’S YOUR :
34. Name: Navneet
35. Nicknames: Miku(pet name 😛 ), mickey mouse 😐 , Psycho (Friends 🙂 ) , Navi(courtsey “her”), Navu(courtsey a different “her” 😛 ) and the list goes on 😛
36. Zodiac sign: Capricorn
37. Male or female or transgender : Find yourself 😛
38. Elementary: Kalgidhar National Public school (dammit my memory..i still remember these names), New Delhi
39. Colleges: BIT SINDRI,dhanbad
40. Hair color: Black/Brown… depends on how you see it 😛
41. Long or short: Pendulumish…Sometimes loooooong…sometimes cropped 😛
42. Height: 5’8.5″ (i cant afford to lose those 0.5″ 😐 )
43. Do you have a crush on someone? Which someone are you talking about??? 😛 There are so many someones 😀
44. Ever been in love? Uh…Well…mmm.. i think… ufff.. Haan bhai haan… 😛 many times 😛
45. Piercings? I can hear with the natural hole in my ears…and can breathe with the natural holes in my nose…why should i get any more??? 😛
46. Tattoos? I wish…but no.. 😦
47. Righty or lefty: Righty and occasionally lefty… 😛
48. First surgery: 2002
49. First piercing: No firsts..no lasts..
50. First best friend: Saurabh
51. First sport you loved: Contrary to what others would think… it was football…
52. First pet : thankfully none..if you do not count my sister as a pet 😛
53. First vacation: Shimla, nainitaal,and whole north india with papa nd mom wen i was 3 😀
54. First concert: 😦 none 😦
55. First crush: 😐 Priety zinta
56. Eating: Chicken….Chicken…Chicken… 😐 ok..and rajma too…
57. Drinking: Is that an offer??? 😛
58. I’m about to: Resist another attempt from the rascal inside me to force me to smoke…and to watch some 3-4 movies…may be LOTR series..again 😐
60. Waiting for: No one.. or may be… 😐

YOUR FUTURE
61. Want kids? Depends… if married , yes,,,if not…NO!!!!
62. Want to get married? Eh…. ok… when can we meet???? 😛
63. Careers in mind? 😐 please… do not confuse me… career..i dun have one… I want to enjoy whatever I do rather than thinking it as a career

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: BOTH…. hmmmm.. ok…LIPS 😛
65. Hugs or kisses: KISSES
66. Shorter or taller: Both!!!
67. Older or Younger: I do not see the difference 😐
68. Romantic or spontaneous: BOTH!!! 😛
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: 😛 😛 😛 Nice stomach 😛
70. Sensitive or loud: Loud!!! 😛 (I know am getting dirty 😛 )
71. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship!!! strictly!
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: Ahhh.. :O :O :O 😛 BOTH BOTH BOTH!!!

HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: Well…NO
74. Lost glasses/contacts: NOPE..I dun have chasmaaaa 😛
75. Been on a blind date? : Well…not exact-leee 😛
76. Broken some one’s heart: Yes 😦
77. Had your own heart broken: YES 🙂
78. Been arrested: Yes…by a girl’s voice 9 years ago…
79. Turned someone down: Hmmmm… No.. 😛
80. Cried when someone died: Dunno…. perhaps no..
81. Liked a friend that is a girl?: Yes..but just as a friend 🙂 I have many 😛

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: No…I would be the last person I would trust…still I am myself’s best friend 🙂
82. Miracles: Yes
83. God: Not when this moron breaks its promises X-(
84. Love at first sight: Never..nor will be…I am not that type
85. Heaven: Yes..have been there once…wanna go again before I die 🙂
86. Santa Claus: Hmmmm… yes
87. Kiss on the first date? : 😛 Yes
88. Angels: Yep…there are so many in this world 😛
89. Devils: I am 😛

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? hmmmm…. no.. sadly..there is none…
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? NO…:P lol
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? : That should be an obvious answer…YES
93. Among your blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? Hmmmm… 😛 secret 😛
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? I do not regret…. 😀
95. Wanted to steal you friend’s boyfriend / girlfriend? : hmmmm.. 😛 I did it already 😛 no hard feelings though 😛

ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR :
96. White: PG TEES 😛
97. Black: EVERYTHING!!!! YUP…EVERYTHING!!! 😛
98. Red: 😛 EX-Company tag
99. Pink: A sweater mom weaved for me that I wore only when I was inside my home 😛 nowhere else :p


>
I was walking alone, on the wet sand,
you said you wanted to hold my hand,
You said you wanted to be with me,
No matter whatever the situation be,

You said you will always be by my side,
and that you have nothing to hide,
You took me from me, you took my spirit,
You changed me into what I see in mirror but don’t know

You told this was special, that we were so meant to be,
And I just smiled, happy and joyous and free,
You made me fly, made me laugh, I ask now “WHY?”,
When all that you wanted to do was to make me cry?

You decided all, when to come, when to go, when to leave me alone,
Never thought of me, as if I was nothing, lifeless like a stone,
You left me stranded on crossroads, without telling which way to go,
“What do I do now?”..I won’t ask YOU! Though even I don’t know!


>
This emptiness, creeps into the chamber of my mind,
Telling me to withdraw, to take a step behind,
I am confused, my eyes are blank,
I do not know how deal with this,

I was at peace, with everything in place,
Or was it? Now the only question in the “empty space”?
It all seems absurd, to even ponder over,
when I do not even want a friend, or a lover,

Losing my way or learning? I can not say!
For I never knew to think like this way,
I fumble at the door, the door of the knowledge,
I want know why this change I can’t understand,

Which way to go, I swear I don’t know,
Will you leave me or deliver a deadly blow?
I want to run far far away from here,
To a place where, no fear would be near,

Is it a meteor unknown, from the deeps of another world?
Or is it the rose, from my very own garden? I don’t know!!
Glowing inside me, or is it a hallucinating spark?
I wander in the mist, searching for a light in the dark,


>
hmmm… Nice title…what you think? I think it is pretty good. Nice way to start a rather controversial issue. Well, not everyone agrees with me, but then, I never ask anyone to. :p

Back to the topic again, “Are you suffocating?” I mean, I am not talking about that cigarette that you smoked 37 minutes ago, neither about how you are feeling in the loo this early morning. No…. I prefer to talk about them rather straight forwardly . Arghhhhh…ok ok..

When was the last time you really felt at peace with her/him without wanting to feel so? I mean, you should not be looking for internal satisfaction, it should be always there, right? I have seen many relationships; not to forget some of mine too; where either one or the both of the participants(well a rather crude term to use, but then, lets be frank here at least) were just pretending so much to show the other one that they were happy that they almost forget the real meaning of happiness. It is not something which takes a ticket and catches a train, so that it can reach to you at a specified time and place. I hope you do not have that notion of happiness.

So do you feel a longing inside you even now? Despite having so many parties to attend together, how many times do you have dinner together on a non-party day? Is the relationship only meant for parties? I mean okay, in Indian context I am not going to be focusing much on Live-in relationships(though I want to, and I promise will write on it someday), still having a dinner with your better half is no more a taboo in Indian culture!! At least I do not think so! So, tell me, despite him doing so many “cute” and “sweet” things for you, how many times it had been the case that you have expected him to show some more love and were disappointed, only to put up a face still smiling and never telling him how you felt. You’d rather tell your inner self that everything is okay and it is the way life goes. Does it?? Is it what you wanted 1 year back? Are the scenarios same? Are you afraid of talking to him about the issues on your mind? Or are you too afraid of letting go of the stability in your life? Afraid of feeling like a loser?

For guys, I think I can explain your agony with your loved one much better as I am a guy(yes…stop grinning). “Why was her cell busy despite her telling about her studying and not being able to talk to me”, or “Is there someone else”, or “Why is she behaving so strange” to “Why she always starts the same issue…I told her there is nothing between me and my ex!!!” . Remember something??? :p Yes…that’s the way with guys, they will think all this, and will never ask the other one just because they are too afraid and insecure about making things worse than they already are. Wake up guys, it is the best thing to mouth your fears rather than accumulating them inside which often results in bizarre results. It is never wrong to say what is in your mind…never

So .. all I want to say is that do not suffocate… rise up and say what is inside your mind…if the other person loves you so much as both of you think, there should not be any space for such holes in a relationship which suck away all the melody from it.


>
How often do you find a person who is an Engineer,Doctor,Journalist,Teacher etc etc etc, and is preparing for MBA? Not quite often? Well, I guess you are a loner, you do not socialize at all then.
Out of 10 people I meet, 7 are preparing for MBA or thinking about it as they “think”(I doubt that) that it would “give a boost” to their careers. Some say they want a better paycheck(Now this I can understand, but still have issues with it), while others say that it is their “Dream”. Still many are out there who simply are not too sure of the reason, but again they “think” it must be good, since everyone is doing it( Like it’s some new form of sex…eh…)

Well, why do we feel the need in first place to get an MBA degree? Is it the money?Or the career boost (or bournvita for that reason) thing? Or is it just a hazy dream(do not confuse with “wet dreams”) ? My question is, is it really what we think it is?

No! It is not that. There has to be more to it. Don’t you want to become someone else because you failed in becoming what you were meant to be, what you were taught to be. You failed to grasp the engineering concepts and today you are at complete loss as to how to direct the workers under you to fix a certain machine which stopped working last weekend. You failed to understand your networks paper properly(spending too much time checking girls out in the class?) and the result is today you can’t fix the issue in creating a secure network at your workplace. Or do you find yourself at the abyss of self confidence when it comes to manage your class, or reporting an accident to your local newspaper office?

So you have decided to run away. Great. You are on your way to become a certified loser. I would not stop you. Why? Simple, you would go on committing such mistakes, giving me apt reason and matter to write on(you see, writing is my hobby…and I sure enjoy it). Also, it would take more than just an advice to make you realise that you have committed a mistake by taking up MBA course at the cost of abandoning your current profession. It will take you a very much coveted MBA job to realise that. The moment when you realise that the MBA job is even tougher than your previous job, you would feel like running away from there also. And I bet you would not have any place to go then. Why? Ask yourself, weren’t it you who abandoned all you had just to get that “dream” fulfilled, to get that “extra money”, to have your share of career”boost”(I prefer complan and bournvita btw) and to get that sense of “I am doing it the right way as everyone is doing it that way…So what if I am getting screwed? Everyone is!!” Well I don’t think you would have same notions about all this MBA things then as you have now.

I am not advocating against MBA or something. I am just saying, do not go for it thinking that it will “change the course of your life”, because it would not. If you think running away from your responsibilities can make you immune to them, or can transform you into something who would learn other things quite effortlessly, then either you are a genius, or you-know-who. Riding up the ladder is not a bad thing, it never is! But jumping from one ladder to another just because yours had a tilted leg puts you in a grave danger. You do not have your ladder which you knew so well, and you will have to balance yourself on a new ladder which will sure take more time and even more effort.

So be sure about this MBA thing before you fill up the forms.. 😛

PS:- All this was written in a hazy state of mind, under the effect of studying hacking, web designing, Quants, EURC , hard rock music and a resolution of being smoke free(and hopefully liquor free) for a lifetime(which is not gonna end anywhere soon, not atleast for next 50-60 years)

>Doubt


>Well… I wanted to ask a question.

Is it right to open up the book of your life and let everyone read it? Will it be okay for people related to me be affected in multiple ways by the consequences?


>Well, Why not…. I was pondering this question….why not….after all they have done so much TO me….not FOR me… So I do have some responsibility towards them….If not moral, then atleast immoral responsibility…. Why not teach them a lesson for the rest of their lives? So, that they would never have the courage to hurt and cheat someone in coming many many years of their lives? Why not? They say its bad to take revenge? Well, then should I be sitting here and just letting them get away with what they have done?

I need to think…. a lot…


>Why do people marry? … I have some options…But would like to hear from you fellas….(If any) …think of some most innovative answers….and some serious ones… I am in the middle of this question….


>I was thinking. I was at it again. There were thoughts of insanity and a madness to do something again. In short, I was feeling lonely after a long long time. It might be due to the monotonous life I have been living for quite sometime now. Perhaps I need a change. I have wondered about this question a million times, “Why do I need a change every now and then?”, without a success with the answer. It happens all the time.

At first, I was afraid to go away from my home after class 10th. Thought I would not like the world. I did. I enjoyed Ranchi. I enjoyed company of my friends and my cousin. I enjoyed seeing the girl I loved. I enjoyed her smile, talking to her and her anger. I enjoyed it all. Then things happened. I was broken. I wanted to be back in my ever safe shelter, my home, Pusa. I didn’t enjoy Ranchi anymore.

I was in class 12 and wanted to go back to home ASAP the exams were over. I went home after the exams finished. I enjoyed “ghar ka khana” after a long long time for a long long time. i enjoyed the safe sanctuary of my parents where none could hurt my feelings and where all my wounds started to heal slowly.i started studying for Engineering entrances in a much more disciplined manner now. But met with little success. I had to face my parents and their
questioning glances all the time. My every action was being looked upon with a mixture of disgust and pity.

Then eventually I got bored of home!!! I wanted to break free and get a life of my own, ruled by my own rules(I am still fighting over this one). I wanted freedom. Seems it was too much to ask for a 17 year old boy. I wanted to get away from my home. And I wanted it badly. I really wanted freedom.

I succeeded one odd time in one of the exams. I got into a college. I started to enjoy the newly found freedom. I enjoyed the friends and girls. I started to enjoy a hell lot more than that. I enjoyed life. It was all perfect. Then came the monotonous and quiet part of the college. Campus selection and exams. Along with came poverty, with not enough in pockets to feed ourselves. Reason being the parties we have been throwing off late.

I was bored with my college life and I wanted a job. I wanted money and to enjoy it now. To get everything life could offer and to live my life to the fullest. College finished and I joined my job. I enjoyed the new place, big city, Mumbai. I enjoyed the thousands of bucks inflowing into my first ever bank account and I enjoyed the chicks here. I loved this life. I thought, “Yes! I wanted this all the time”. I was wrong.

I started to get bored in my job. I found out that its too tough to move up the ladder here, especially in this company. I wondered why I always wanted to be a software engineer. I discovered that despite being exceptionally good at maths, I was just average at programming. I started to hate this job which taught nothing and made a zombie out of me. I understood that this is not what I want. I got a new interest meanwhile.
MBA.

I wanted to get into a good MBA college now. I hated my job like hell. I wanted to quit. I waited due to the bond money. I prepared hard for one long year. I performed well in the mocks. I failed though, finally. Just 95.12%ile.
I was shattered. I started concentrating on my job again. I knew i had ignored it too long for not to be punished.

Eventually I got some calls and though I tried hard, failed to convert them. I lost the job too meanwhile.

I was sort of free now. The freedom I had always craved for. I enjoyed this too, but came to terms with hard fact that I am not earning anymore. I realised how hard it is to survive in a city like mumbai without earning. I started looking out for a job. I thought it will be easier, but it is not.

Now I am feeling very lonely and left out. And now I do realise some of the wrongs I have done in my life. I realise now that I should be more disciplined regarding myself and my life.

Still, there is a crazy Navi sitting inside my heart, wanting me to do the things I want to do and not what I should do.

I am confused. I am lost.

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