Category: lies


>Prey


>
Well…a poem finally…a dark one this time…dunno how much justice i have done with my dark instincts…You’re the judge

There he spotted her, the prey of the evening,
laughing among her friends, her aura lightening the dark night,
He watches her moves, the ways she speaks,
he plans for the act, the one which always rules,

He moves towards her, with an innocent smile on his face,
beneath which lies a cruel intention, of which no one can find a trace,
He takes silent steps, the prey completely ignorant of it,
his eyes mocking the atmosphere, like a snake’s slit,

She’s talking to him, amazed by his charm,never suspecting the reality,
He stands by her side, holding a beer, cruel face hidden by frailty,
“What is this man,where he came from”, she wonders in her mind,
His charm and wits, working their way, making her logics blind,

He prepares to leave,she follows him out, fallen for him all the way,
never thinking it might be a trap,that she might be just a prey,
The streets are dark,the lights are out,they are all alone in the night,
As he moves towards her,preparing for the kill, ready to strike with all might.

Advertisements

>I know I have to be mad to be writing this post…almost same as my earlier post… Pardon me if it seems boring sort of to u people….This time it is PERSONAL…

I love you…I love you and that includes all the fights I have had with you, all the things we have enjoyed together, all the things we have discussed over and all the things we have argued on…It includes every damn phone call to you at the cost of my dinner meal…It includes every damn risk you have taken talking to me despite your issues…it includes all the verbal abuses I’ve thrown at you…It includes all the things you have said to me and made me suffer about… It includes every smile you have given me…every touch I felt of you on my skin…Every night I thought of you and cried to realise you are not gonna be with me…every lie i told you only to tell you the truth 10 minutes later… every thing I have done for you and never told you that I did it….

I love you…and yes..I am still crazy for you… come to me and tell me you do not feel the same way I do…tell me if u can…else I am going to delete this blog within 1 month… with no more sane posts…yes..u got me right…and with will end all of my online presence…not to forget that I do not have an offline one… 🙂

P.S. :- I love you sweetheart


>
I was walking alone, on the wet sand,
you said you wanted to hold my hand,
You said you wanted to be with me,
No matter whatever the situation be,

You said you will always be by my side,
and that you have nothing to hide,
You took me from me, you took my spirit,
You changed me into what I see in mirror but don’t know

You told this was special, that we were so meant to be,
And I just smiled, happy and joyous and free,
You made me fly, made me laugh, I ask now “WHY?”,
When all that you wanted to do was to make me cry?

You decided all, when to come, when to go, when to leave me alone,
Never thought of me, as if I was nothing, lifeless like a stone,
You left me stranded on crossroads, without telling which way to go,
“What do I do now?”..I won’t ask YOU! Though even I don’t know!


>
hmmm… Nice title…what you think? I think it is pretty good. Nice way to start a rather controversial issue. Well, not everyone agrees with me, but then, I never ask anyone to. :p

Back to the topic again, “Are you suffocating?” I mean, I am not talking about that cigarette that you smoked 37 minutes ago, neither about how you are feeling in the loo this early morning. No…. I prefer to talk about them rather straight forwardly . Arghhhhh…ok ok..

When was the last time you really felt at peace with her/him without wanting to feel so? I mean, you should not be looking for internal satisfaction, it should be always there, right? I have seen many relationships; not to forget some of mine too; where either one or the both of the participants(well a rather crude term to use, but then, lets be frank here at least) were just pretending so much to show the other one that they were happy that they almost forget the real meaning of happiness. It is not something which takes a ticket and catches a train, so that it can reach to you at a specified time and place. I hope you do not have that notion of happiness.

So do you feel a longing inside you even now? Despite having so many parties to attend together, how many times do you have dinner together on a non-party day? Is the relationship only meant for parties? I mean okay, in Indian context I am not going to be focusing much on Live-in relationships(though I want to, and I promise will write on it someday), still having a dinner with your better half is no more a taboo in Indian culture!! At least I do not think so! So, tell me, despite him doing so many “cute” and “sweet” things for you, how many times it had been the case that you have expected him to show some more love and were disappointed, only to put up a face still smiling and never telling him how you felt. You’d rather tell your inner self that everything is okay and it is the way life goes. Does it?? Is it what you wanted 1 year back? Are the scenarios same? Are you afraid of talking to him about the issues on your mind? Or are you too afraid of letting go of the stability in your life? Afraid of feeling like a loser?

For guys, I think I can explain your agony with your loved one much better as I am a guy(yes…stop grinning). “Why was her cell busy despite her telling about her studying and not being able to talk to me”, or “Is there someone else”, or “Why is she behaving so strange” to “Why she always starts the same issue…I told her there is nothing between me and my ex!!!” . Remember something??? :p Yes…that’s the way with guys, they will think all this, and will never ask the other one just because they are too afraid and insecure about making things worse than they already are. Wake up guys, it is the best thing to mouth your fears rather than accumulating them inside which often results in bizarre results. It is never wrong to say what is in your mind…never

So .. all I want to say is that do not suffocate… rise up and say what is inside your mind…if the other person loves you so much as both of you think, there should not be any space for such holes in a relationship which suck away all the melody from it.


>
And as she prepared, to move away,
He searched for words,something to say,
She looked at him, trying to smile,
He realised, they had only a while,

He remembered, the time they spent,
Smiling he wondered, “What that meant”,
She gathered strength, to face the things,
“No more heartaches, No moody swings”,

They wondered inside, how to live their lives,
But none said a single word,there were no cries,
Though they were parting,it was no parting away,
But they must face this,they didn’t have a say,

He thinks of her,perhaps even she does,
He wants her back, not that now it matters,
The love is gone, the dream is gone,
He is drenched in rain,standing all alone


>Well… I posted this article about an year back on Pagalyguy. I thought of sharing it with you all.
You can access the original one here.. MY CAT STORY

Well…perhaps the first time I got aware of CAT “the exam ” was in 2003(yes even way back in 2003, I was equally ignorant), all kudos to Ranjit “Don”, the guy who leaked the papers. That time I thought,”The exam must be a very important one if such a mass level hysteria is in the general public!!”(Yes, I heard one of my elder cousins saying”Dammit…fir se padhna hoga 3 months…”):laugh:

Back then, I was in 12th standard with my results out and my dream of getting into IITs shattered…Also my hopes of fetching respectable marks in XIIth board examination were shattered when I almost flunked in my optional subject.And alongwith that dream, another one that kept me awake(The girl whom I loved all those two years …11th,12th and could not say a single word to her…Man I was some loser material back then!!!), came to an end as I had to return to my home, and she was still in Ranchi.:huh:

However less the margin be,a failure is still a failure. :idea:And I faced a dozen of them(missing the cut offs by silly margins) while looking at my career with a distraught look on my face.That was the first time in my life when I started helping myself out,thinking logically and sorting out the things as they are supposed to be, instead of expecting some miracle to happen and make life heaven..Puys who are reading this, note, “THERE ARE NO MIRACLES, ONLY ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS WHICH LOOK MIRACULOUS TO THOSE WHO DON’T WISH TO MOVE THEIR BUTT”:bigear:

Anyways, time passed quickly once I got into a nice Engg. college…not those biggies…but still a nice one(Yeah that’s what you say when you don’t get what you desire…get habituated to it as there will be many things in your life which you wont be getting…CAT might just being one of them…So make CAT something which doesn’t damage your life if u don’t get it)College life was good…we enjoyed(like everyone in college…and we rocked…even if no one cared..New friends,new life..new-found freedom and a single room…what more can a bachelor ask for??

Then came 2nd year and I heard some of my seniors preparing for CAT…i was surprised!!”Why are they preparing for another exam when they have got comfortable jobs??”, was the first question that popped in my mind.I simnply could not understand why they were trying for something to study when they were having their engg. degree…Why they were trying to put in vain everything they learnt in 4 years?

Anyways, many students in my college joined a nearby coaching centre(a famous one).I followed the suit and asked my parents for a huge sum(13500 INR, which was later invested in making calls to my so-called-GF, the same girl from Ranchi, my school days). They asked what it was for, I told them I wish to do MBA.:sarcasm:

Surprisingly, they were delighted!!So, I enrolled into the institute for 1 week trial period.Also attended the first class and performed well. BUT(yes that’s a big but), never went for the classes ever again. No special reason,I thought it was too much of an effort to maintain a discipline of going to classes(Now when I think of this, going to CL classes every weekend, and managing my hectic job as well, I just smile at what I was at that time).
Anyways, the CAT saga for my 2nd year was only this much and noting much happened afterwards.

Come 3rd year and everyone was mugging up the books and magzines and every single source of any information…GOD!!I came to know a bit later..1 months…that they were all preparing for the campus selection which would take place at the end of 3rd year. In my usual style, I brushed away the concern saying, “The first person to be selected for campus from our batch is ME”. Many people hated me for saying that. Perhaps they still do. I don’t care.

As the pre final year drew to a close, we had our University examination and the first company was scheduled to visit the college merely 5 days after the last exam.Infosys.Yes,like many others, that was my dream job also(Now I sometimes thank GOD taht all my dreams don’t come true!!).GOT REJECTED IN PI ROUND.Cried for the first time on phone while talking to my parents. Anyways, time flies by quickly and seldom we give a thought to the fact that how priorities change(form college to gf…from gf to job…again from job to gf….from gf to career…from career to family…and finally from everyone to one’s true self). My GF dumped me(perhaps for the 100th time in 5-6 years) and I started once again from the scratch.Sharing things with my diary was nothing new and now that I was all alone(barring a few friends who always have been alongside, come what may), it felt nice to vent out all the frustration on my diary.

10th-11thjuly-2006.Got the job. Not my dream job, certainly, but still,a slice of a cake is better than a hungry and aching stomach.That fateful night me and some of my closest friends decided to go for the CAT as now we dint have anything to be bothered about(Job in hand..GF gone…it really becomes a free life!!). Filled the form and started preparing in a group.I knew it from always quants was my stronghold and used to score 35-40% in it(read % ,not %ile) and DI section was also in the place. What worried me most was my performance in EURC section. I did get good scores, but was not consistent.

Never took a mock test all the way and suffered as a result.FIJs.Yes I know you are aware of them now but on the C-day in 2006, that was like a lightening bolt from hell…and it did struck me.Got a pathetic 1 in EURC(after calculating 32 a/c CL and 28 a/c IMS). 99.5%ile in QA and 95.3%ile in LRDI were not enough to help me cross the barrier and the year ended up as a disaster.

Took JMET and XAT also, cleared the cut off for JMET but never got into the merit list of any of the colleges.

CAT-2007:- Didn’t fill the form coz of a newly joined job and a desire to get atleast some work ex along with some experience of working in an office.

CAT-2008:- Working on it. Hoping to add something more to my not so illustrious career just in order to be able post here with some proud.

P.S.:- If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Thinking about my GF of 7 years??Dont think much friends….she’s married now..not meeeeee..some other guy…Life goes on …and no one cares..This, by no means is the end of the saga…I’ll see if I can sail through or get drowned….Coz if I sail through,its all ok…and if by chance i drown, he he he…then i’ll get a whole new world to explore.
CAT is by no means the end of the road for me. I believe in oppurtunities….not the results…I think of CAT as one of the many roads which I travel in my journey of life. What if I fail? No issues…I do lose…everyone does sometime…but the point is…that when you lose, don’t lose the lesson. I want to learn as much as I can from my pursuit of CAT.Also, this by no means to represent the whole story….abi to poori kahaani baaki hai…this is just the prologue…

we’ll see….and we’ll rock!!!

>Plaigarism


>Well…. I should be proud at this incidednt. I am not. Someone has stolen my poem “Make her smyle” and published it in a book!!!! Well…. I never knew I could write something like that… I do not write for commercial purposes,I do it to get things out of my system…just that…. and this person… some ambika rathi has stolen my poem and posted it here…

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/make-her-smile/

I have posted my comments there with ample proof of writing the poem originally…. I request you people to support me on that site as well. I won’t stop at anything less than an apology in written and removal of my work from the site and all other possible locations.

Please support me.


>Well, Why not…. I was pondering this question….why not….after all they have done so much TO me….not FOR me… So I do have some responsibility towards them….If not moral, then atleast immoral responsibility…. Why not teach them a lesson for the rest of their lives? So, that they would never have the courage to hurt and cheat someone in coming many many years of their lives? Why not? They say its bad to take revenge? Well, then should I be sitting here and just letting them get away with what they have done?

I need to think…. a lot…


>She saw him walking away,
Full in anger,
She heard the curses he muttered,
He sure meant them, whatever,

He wished she wouldn’t have done such things,
Never thought it will come down to this,
He never called her anything bad, not even mean,
He simply walked away with a tear in his eyes, that always remained unseen.


>Someone once told me that live life as it comes and don’t worry about tomorrow. “Jo hona hai hoga hi, abhi to achhe se reh lo”. Well, you were wrong sweetheart, you were damn wrong. It’s not like that. I understand why you used to tell me this though. Because you were planning to end it soon. That’s why you wanted me to understand that we had no future. You just wanted a casual relationship, nothing more. That’s why you were so damn afraid of a commitment. Really yaar, how clear things become when you start using your mind and looking for the reasons and signals. It was all there, but I was too blind to see it. If only I had known your intentions, I’d have never let you have that much control over me. Anyways. Thank god its over, I do not have to deal with a fake person anymore. Thank you sweetheart.


>Finally it has happened again. The girl whom I loved has deserted me again. Four relationships in 9 years. With the first one spanning 7+ years. I think that’s why I have become so familiar with this feeling now. It does hurt, of course it does. But one thing I am sure that these break ups are taking aay something from me. Ability to trust girls.i do not say that girls are bad, they are the most beautiful creation of god. All I am saying that perhaps I would not go for any relationship now as I have no more trust left in me to entrust a girl with.

All innocent faces, sweet voices will only remind me of this betrayal. Sweet they might be, beautiful they might be, but that does not give them any right to play with someone’s emotions. I tried so hard because I knew I was at fault. Else I’d have simply kicked her away. I knew it was my mistake which was causing all this but then I also knew that the mistake wasn’t so big that it should result in such a planned break up. Perhaps there were other things in her mind which she never told me. Anyways, I know that I have tried enough, more than enough to save the relationship we had. Someone was adamant on finishing things off, packing her bag and run away.

I think she wanted to end this anyways. Things she said a few days ago make complete sense now. She wanted a way out. I understand it now. I have no qualms, no complaints. What I hated about this break up was that though I knew she was concocting all this up for the sake of a simple alibi, I didn’t tell her this in her face. Perhaps because I was at fault in first place. I did not have the right to blame someone else.

Anyways, bye bye my 4th ex girlfiriend 🙂


>I used to wonder why you left me,
And look for the reasons why you won’t see me,
I agree! Things were not easy,
With mayhem around and situations getting messy,
But you wanted a smooth short cut way,
And now I know why you walked away.

We were rocking and the love was great,
I always thought we will change the fate,
Only now I realise “the things” and hidden “signals”,
that tell me you liked “US”, but had your mind on different business,
There were things in your mind which you would never say,
And now I know why you walked away.

We had good times but I won’t deny we didn’t fight,
Hardly a reason to destroy what we had with all your might,
You always looked for an excuse, I can see it all now,
To get rid of me, and you sure did put on a great show,
I was at fault, but not that big! No Way!!
And now I know why you walked away.

I tried so hard to save all we had,
I begged to you, cried like a person gone mad,
But you had decided, made your choice,
finally making me realize, what was good and what was vice,
You left me, destroying me like a statue of clay,
And now I know why you walked away.

But let me tell you what you will miss,
the honesty and faithfullness, not to mention the kiss,
Now that all my tears are gone, dried for long,
I sit down and write this stupid-idiotic song,
But don’t you think you got any of me, NO GIRL!!!
COZ NOW I KNOW WHY YOU WALKED AWAY!


>

Will it be proper if I keep someone in the illusion that I love her while all I think all the time is some other girl?

I know mine hasn’t been the best of characters and neither do I want to be one, but I do not want to cheat someone on pretense of loving her.

Its over dear. I do not love you because I love someone else. She can’t be with me and I am not able to love anyone else. That doesn’t stop me from loving her.

I can not force myself into loving you.

Sorry

PS:- heeee haaa huuu hooooo.. for more jokes, call me on my new number… lol

%d bloggers like this: