Category: insanity



>Well…an empty mind and a full bottle of whiskey CAN do wonders at times!!!

This time…the medium is me…

I am gonna use all my experience with girls and all and gonna write a post on

“All you wanted to know about girls and all you never wanted to know about girls”

as my special post for Valentine’s day….

I guess it will answer guys maximum questions on how to deal with girls and what things to look for…. Call it a dirty thing..call it a frustrated person’s outburst.. call it anything…

I call it the naked truth!!! And this V-day, your gonna find it out too!!!

Brickbats… ??? Bring them ONNNNNN!!!

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>He- The Voice


>
He sits in the corner, sipping his black coffee,
Wearing an indifferent expression, neither violent nor meek,
He watches the people, running away from themselves,
He wonders at them, “Dunno how that helps”,

He has seen a lot and has gone through much,
He pretends he shut it,but it opens at a touch,
The evenings of laughter, the mornings of joy,
Sometimes feeling as if he was treated like a toy,

He sees people thinking that they will forget,
He laughs at these fools, and wished they never met,
He sips his black coffee, storms stirring inside,
He must choose an option.now he must decide,

To be with these people and be like just them,
Or run away from everything,turn all in the flames,
I don’t know what he will do, but I will be with him,
For he is the voice the screaming within.

PS:- I know off late my poems might have lost that touch. It happens. I do not feel like writing anything romantic anymore…. may be some personal reasons, but these things are not anymore for me…. I might even stop writing… It takes too much to bring on paper what goes inside my mind. I do not write fictional poetry. I write what I have seen. I write my own experiences….. perhaps that is the reason I do not wish to write anymore… I am fed up of being at the receiving end all the time and telling about it on my blog…may be I am ashamed of myself…of failing time and again…. May be… It always happens 😦

Just pray this was the last time I fell for someone…I wish either I could never rise…or rise so much that I could never see anyone worthy enough to fall for…

😦

>A lost mind


>It has been a pretty much messed up life till now…. I started quite fine.. was a bright very bright kid… good in studies…good in habits… good in every damn field one can imagine of…then I messed up.. I messed up big time and like they say… The more I tried to get out of the mess.. the more I got into it.. Seeing what it has brought to me today makes me wonder, should I be proud of myself or worried about the guy I have become…. I am a mess… I need to come out of this …if only for the sake of those who have put their trust in me… I know it might not make much difference to me right now, the failure or success, but again I know it doesn’t make a difference to those who are as much responsible for this mess as I am… and perhaps for that reason….whether you call it vengeance or redemption, I have to pull myself away from it or it will tear me apart… I am confused, I am down, I am almost out…. almost… not yet there…. I have to do this… just have to hold myself together…. have to think logically for once in my life… I know its hard to make exceptions but this is one that I won’t regret…

I have to do it…. Hold on Navneet… hold on my buddy..hold on… You can do this…you are better than this…

Yes.. I am better than this 🙂


>I know I have to be mad to be writing this post…almost same as my earlier post… Pardon me if it seems boring sort of to u people….This time it is PERSONAL…

I love you…I love you and that includes all the fights I have had with you, all the things we have enjoyed together, all the things we have discussed over and all the things we have argued on…It includes every damn phone call to you at the cost of my dinner meal…It includes every damn risk you have taken talking to me despite your issues…it includes all the verbal abuses I’ve thrown at you…It includes all the things you have said to me and made me suffer about… It includes every smile you have given me…every touch I felt of you on my skin…Every night I thought of you and cried to realise you are not gonna be with me…every lie i told you only to tell you the truth 10 minutes later… every thing I have done for you and never told you that I did it….

I love you…and yes..I am still crazy for you… come to me and tell me you do not feel the same way I do…tell me if u can…else I am going to delete this blog within 1 month… with no more sane posts…yes..u got me right…and with will end all of my online presence…not to forget that I do not have an offline one… 🙂

P.S. :- I love you sweetheart


>
How often do you find a person who is an Engineer,Doctor,Journalist,Teacher etc etc etc, and is preparing for MBA? Not quite often? Well, I guess you are a loner, you do not socialize at all then.
Out of 10 people I meet, 7 are preparing for MBA or thinking about it as they “think”(I doubt that) that it would “give a boost” to their careers. Some say they want a better paycheck(Now this I can understand, but still have issues with it), while others say that it is their “Dream”. Still many are out there who simply are not too sure of the reason, but again they “think” it must be good, since everyone is doing it( Like it’s some new form of sex…eh…)

Well, why do we feel the need in first place to get an MBA degree? Is it the money?Or the career boost (or bournvita for that reason) thing? Or is it just a hazy dream(do not confuse with “wet dreams”) ? My question is, is it really what we think it is?

No! It is not that. There has to be more to it. Don’t you want to become someone else because you failed in becoming what you were meant to be, what you were taught to be. You failed to grasp the engineering concepts and today you are at complete loss as to how to direct the workers under you to fix a certain machine which stopped working last weekend. You failed to understand your networks paper properly(spending too much time checking girls out in the class?) and the result is today you can’t fix the issue in creating a secure network at your workplace. Or do you find yourself at the abyss of self confidence when it comes to manage your class, or reporting an accident to your local newspaper office?

So you have decided to run away. Great. You are on your way to become a certified loser. I would not stop you. Why? Simple, you would go on committing such mistakes, giving me apt reason and matter to write on(you see, writing is my hobby…and I sure enjoy it). Also, it would take more than just an advice to make you realise that you have committed a mistake by taking up MBA course at the cost of abandoning your current profession. It will take you a very much coveted MBA job to realise that. The moment when you realise that the MBA job is even tougher than your previous job, you would feel like running away from there also. And I bet you would not have any place to go then. Why? Ask yourself, weren’t it you who abandoned all you had just to get that “dream” fulfilled, to get that “extra money”, to have your share of career”boost”(I prefer complan and bournvita btw) and to get that sense of “I am doing it the right way as everyone is doing it that way…So what if I am getting screwed? Everyone is!!” Well I don’t think you would have same notions about all this MBA things then as you have now.

I am not advocating against MBA or something. I am just saying, do not go for it thinking that it will “change the course of your life”, because it would not. If you think running away from your responsibilities can make you immune to them, or can transform you into something who would learn other things quite effortlessly, then either you are a genius, or you-know-who. Riding up the ladder is not a bad thing, it never is! But jumping from one ladder to another just because yours had a tilted leg puts you in a grave danger. You do not have your ladder which you knew so well, and you will have to balance yourself on a new ladder which will sure take more time and even more effort.

So be sure about this MBA thing before you fill up the forms.. 😛

PS:- All this was written in a hazy state of mind, under the effect of studying hacking, web designing, Quants, EURC , hard rock music and a resolution of being smoke free(and hopefully liquor free) for a lifetime(which is not gonna end anywhere soon, not atleast for next 50-60 years)


>
I lie on my bed, trying your number,
it says you’re busy, “where” I wonder,
It rings for a while,and I start to smile,
Only to know that,you have cut it again,

I think of times, when you were not so cold,
I think of times, when I thought you were too bold,
You never ignored me,you dint run away,
I never thought, life would turn this way,

We liked each other, and we liked the way it was,
Never realised it was so fragile,just like glass,
We never complained, we never fought,
And faced together, the troubles life brought,

You said you loved me, what we had was all true,
Every sorrow was gone and every joy was new,
Now when I think of that, I wonder where it went,
That smile of yours, that smell of your scent,

I wonder where we lost, what made us pay this cost,
Why you became so cold,just like the winter frost,
I am still try to call you,trying to get you back,
May be we can make it work,despite evrything we lack.


>
Well, I was an avid fan of IE. I was. Till yesterday. Something happened to IE 8 or blogger’s compatibility with it and a certain gadget(in fact two), Google friend connect, won’t show up. Though I was able to see that I still had 8 followers, the gadget wasn’t getting displayed on the blog.

I was really troubled when another gadget, “My recent posts” misbehaved in the same manner and disappeared. I thought there was some cookie error and simply reset my all IE settings. Now I have used IE 7 a lot but this is IE 8. Somethings are still there to be understood. So after toiling all night, trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with my blog, I turned to internet help.

In Google’s help menu I found numerous of troubled bloggers, bugged by the same syndrome as me. The most hilarious part was that some of my friends were able to see the same gadget on my blog(Not sure what was their browser), but I wasn’t able to view even others’ gadget!!!

“What crap!”, I muttered and tried the same thing in Mozilla. Eureka!!! It is working! i was like, after hours of labour and research(during which I restored my system twice and unrestored it once), I was finally able to view my blog as I wanted to.

I am a Mozilla fan now. I do not know if I would go back to IE-8 now, but I am not completely gonna abandon it. Its like first love.


>Well, finally it is over. I am really kind of glad about it. You really don’t like it when your clothes smell of tobacco( and that too burnt) and all your face gets itchy, not to forget the pungent smell left in your hand after you have just finished smoking. It is really a wierd feeling(provided you are conscious about your cleanliness) to have such a smell around you all the day.

That was just one of the million reasons I quit smoking. Well to list some more…

First and the most important, “SMOKING CAUSES CANCER”. Come on… there is no lying about that. It is one of the most dangerous addictions ever hit mankind since it discovered sex. But though both seem to be giving you “a flying state of mind”, the former makes sure you get to the grave(not flying, but being driven a truck or something)
I decided(like million times before) that it was enough for me for one lifetime to take in so much of the smoke. Surprisingly, when I went through a thorough checkup recently, nothing popped up. I mean, nothing like a patch in my lungs, or High BP, or something else in my intestines/throat. I was shocked. Te first thought that came to mind was, “Shit! Now they have started adulterating Ciggis too…?? All my money into nothing? “
On a more serious note, I thought this is one chance God has given me( Though I do not believe in God a lot.. I do a little), and if I throw away this one, I’d never be able to get rid of it.
So, I quit even though it doesn’t seem to have affected me in any serious way(apart from ripping my purse and taking most of it away).

Well atleast I am consistent in this one area. Of quitting things(and sometimes people)
Also, there is this urge among the young men(especially) to look cool. I know a very good friend of mine, Suhas(name changed), who started smoking just to impress other(read girls) and to look cool. He thought it was an integral part of life to do such things. Well, I told him when he was lighting up the first ciggi of his life,”Suhas, do not start this. You will become addicted”. “I wont”, he said.

Today, Suhas smokes atleast a pack daily and says to me, “You were right Navneet, I want to quit now but can’t. Also, doesn’t this look so cool?” I just smile. Well, I do not feel guilty. Atleast I tried.

Another friend, Prashant(name chaanged). He was my roommate and is still among one my best friends. Its another thing that we do not talk much anymore. Anyways, this was the guy who introduced me to the world of smoking and porn. Well, I never watched any till I went into college.
So here was this guy, who was smoking since…ummm…1999..and we met in college in 2004. He was so thin my pants used to slip away from him. I too was thin back then, not now…lol.. So he always used to smoke. Morning tea, after breakfast, 10 am tea, before lunch tea,after lunch ,afternoon tea and blah blah blah… I wondered how could he do that with such a fragile health.
2006 october. The guy fell sick. Vomiting and high fever. Blood too. He was taken to his home by his brother and when after 2 months he returned, he could barely be recognized. He was half of his previous self. It was really shocking for all of us.

Initially he didn’t tell us what he actually suffered from. Then one day he broke down in front of some close friends and told us he was detected with T.B. We were shocked. I mean we see these things all the time in movies and TV. But we never think it could happen to us. There lies the problem. We keep telling ourselves lies that nothing will happen to us. After all, who has died after smoking one cigarette??? huh…blasphemy!!

So, this guy was totally barred from many things. His brother came to stay with him for a month and he was undeer constant medication. He took the university paper in that state of mind and body. You sure won’t wanna suffer like that.

We talk sometimes. I ask if he has been smoking again. He tells me… “Not now..never ever after college.” A beer is what he has sometimes to get over with the tension of daily life. But smoke? No way.
He always used to say something which I remember. Though many people said it, but seems I took the thing most seriously when he said it.
He said,” You will never be able to quit”

I called him yesterday. I told him I quit.

>:( I am going mad.


>Yes, its official now. I am sort of going mad. I have been doing things which no sane person in her/his full senses would call sensible. Dunno what I want. A week ago I was thinking I had grown up. That thought seems like a poor joke to me now.

I need to hold myself.


>Well… My friends are mad at me. I was labelled a gay three days before when I went into celebrations after reading that Homosexuality is no more a crime.

I asked a simple question.

“Don’t we celebrate marriages of people we care about(and at times of people we seldom know) ?”

I am still branded as a hardcore supporter of Homosexuality.

I am happy now. 😉


>Well…

It begins now.

I am BACK.

No apologies for the inconveniences to come in future.


>Well…. Someone once said that the world is a stage and we all are here to play our parts….. seems mine is going unnoticed…. I dunno wats wrong with this blog…but I simply get almost 0 people reading it and exactly 0 commenting. Well, I guess its just me here.

No issues. I will continue. And may be I won’t get anyone to read what I write, I will still write. I still do remember my motive of starting this blog, “To get things out of my system”.

I have to write my story. Fast.
Soon.


>Well… I was lost…

Have said many bad things and and have thought too ugly of everyone when I realized that it was me who was making the situations worse by doing this to myself. So I have stopped now. And it feels calm. Peace atleast with myself. I do not need peace with others. I have stopped fighting with myself.

I am happy now. 🙂

I am going home, finally on 9th.

🙂


>Well, Why not…. I was pondering this question….why not….after all they have done so much TO me….not FOR me… So I do have some responsibility towards them….If not moral, then atleast immoral responsibility…. Why not teach them a lesson for the rest of their lives? So, that they would never have the courage to hurt and cheat someone in coming many many years of their lives? Why not? They say its bad to take revenge? Well, then should I be sitting here and just letting them get away with what they have done?

I need to think…. a lot…


>Why do people marry? … I have some options…But would like to hear from you fellas….(If any) …think of some most innovative answers….and some serious ones… I am in the middle of this question….

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