Category: disappointed



>Well, 0333 hours… 🙂

666/2=333 :p

Perhaps one of those nights when neither your mind nor your heart seem to appreciate one important need of your body, the  need to sleep. I am wide awake even after knowing that I should be asleep hours ago, but that’s not what this post would focus on. It would not perhaps even focus on anything in specific, not the fact that I am perhaps lost in between my career, my dreams, my family and myself; neither would it be about the work that I have been assigned to at my current job and the responsibility that has been bestowed upon me hence. This post is about someone who perhaps took a wrong turn(or as others believe) somewhere down the line and is a completely different person than what he would have been had he not done certain things in his life.

I know this seems like a lot of nostalgia at first sight, but trust me, there is none. None from my side. Neither is there any sympathy. The only feeling I have for the person in discussion is of amusement. The 16 year  old dreamy eyed boy never thought back then that 10 years down the lane he would proud calling himself someone who is shrewd, cunning, barely honest and arrogant enough to accept it all. I used to know him, long time ago. Perhaps I still do, but there are a lot of things now, things that matter more to me than that 16 year old boy. There is money, career, MBA. There are things that he never would have ever been able to even dreamt of. There are girls, drinks, people who he would have never been able to understand. There is smoke, a lot of it. Then there is an insatiable hunger for something that I do not understand myself. There is this rat race and he is simply sitting in the crowd, seeing me run through it, kicking others and becoming happy at the thought of having eliminated the competition.

I need him I think. I need some sanity. I need innocence, atleast this one last thing.
Hope I do not become my own monster.


>

Well …sorry for not posting “the” post… thing is… off late I have been jinxed sort of when it comes to accidents… and as usual/unusual… I had an accident yesterday….no major injuries…but I am bedridden for another two days…. So posting one of my articles here posted by me on one of my friends’s blog.

FYI– I am still writing the post 😐

WHY NOT TO DO AN MBA:-

What do you do when you do not know the purpose of your life, what you are meant to do?

Wanna know?

You opt for an MBA.

Yes, stupid as it may look at first sight, it is the truth which we all know deep inside our hearts. Be it an IT guy who works for 15-17 hours a day, gets paid for just 8-9 and dreams of studying when he reaches home (while swallowing the already cold dinner), all so that he could perform well in some MBA exam and get into a decent B-school, or be it an engineer working in a steel plant or an automobile manufacturing company, exhausted because of the physical exertion and the pathetic work environment she/he has to face day in and day out.

Most common reasons for people taking up MBA? Well.. The list is very simple..

1. I do not like my job. (But I do not know if I would like the MBA job or not!)

2. I want a higher salary. (But the fees in MBA colleges are so high… Will I be able to save anything in the initial years?)

3. I did a mistake by studying engineering. I should have saved an year. (But could I have acquired the same mental ability and level of thinking?)

4. Well, everyone is doing it. It can’t be wrong!!! ( Like everyone was doing drugs and open sex in 70s in US!) or I like the tag of MBA after my name. (Well, is it not that I am paying a lot for a tag?!) or I always wanted to do an MBA (Because my uncle’s sister’s son did it when I was in 10th grade and now he is so well placed!)

5. I have a dream. I want to acquire the required skills to fulfill that dream. I believe in myself and I know what exactly I am doing.

Well, now decide which category do you fall in. I am asking you this because some 6 months ago when I asked myself, I fell in the first category. That was before I lost my job. Afterwards, it has been quite a different story for me. Anyways, that’s a completely different story. Fast, forward, I had my CAT results in hand and was completely devastated. So devastated that I once doubted the very reason behind doing an MBA. All those mocks, all those 99+%iles, all those excuses from office in the name of bad health, all just for one reason – MBA. It was a very tough phase for me. I even termed MBA as a sheer waste of money.

Now, unless you are sure you fall in the 5th and the last category, I’d suggest you should review your situation as you might be wasting both your time and money after the highly coveted, distastefully advertised and much advocated “MBA” .

See, I am a metallurgical engineer by degree, so it would be best for me to explain taking myself as an example. Before I took the course up, I didn’t even know what is metallurgy. Right now, I can’t say I am the best metallurgist ever, I can sure say that I know the “what and how” of metallurgy. And given that I have a degree in metallurgy, I should be working somewhere in TATA Steel, JSW Bellary, ISPAT, VIZAG, SAIL or any of the Steel manufacturing companies in India. I have never ever been to even one of them (except for the one day visits we had in college days). In fact, I worked with one of the leading software companies of India for almost two years before realizing that I have wasted my two years. It is a real pain in the posterior to have the constantly nagging thought in your mind that the code you are writing doesn’t make sense when seen in light of what you have studied all your life. You were not made for this!!! Then I started preparing for CAT, or MBA in general, What followed next was nothing less of a dream run. I had great mocks, above average CAT and one devastating section. Results. NOT QUALIFIED. Some dreams do turn into nightmares. Also, it wasn’t only my CAT dream that got shattered. A lot more was at stake.

Though I had appeared for MBA exams in season 2006 and 2008 too, with little success, I decided to give it another go. Then I realised one thing. I studied Metallurgy, worked in a software company and now wanted to go for an MBA! Why in the first place did I not go for a metallurgy job? The one area where I am certified to work!! I literally fought with myself. I pitched various reasons for not doing a job in metallurgy. None worked. I am applying for a job in the steel industry now.

Now let me put it like this.

You give up metallurgy to go into the software sector, thinking it would boost your career like anything and that you would be earning big bucks in a year or two. WAKE UP!!! My company had announced two months ago that there would be no appraisals this fiscal year. Same is the situation with the other players in this field. Now picture yourself if you were selected in a Metallurgy based company. My friends in SAIL are earning more than double of what I used to get when I left my job. Two damn years and all you get is a work experience certificate, and a lesson about why not to be a software engineer (Believe me or not, I am still writing that book for the last 1 year). To hell with that!!! Nothing like the Cinderella dream you had while sitting for that PPT in college.

Well … I think I should rather write what I intended to write in first place. Let’s get back to the categories and see what is wrong in doing an MBA for the wrong reasons.

Well, job is not a very pleasant thing, barring the paycheck that comes at the end of the month (which of course is NEVER ENOUGH). Everyone wants to be the least exploited employee. Believe me, employers do exploit you, you cannot run away from that. It is ubiquitous. Get on with your job and try to learn the basics of it, especially if you are a fresher, a newbie in your job. You would not like being reprimanded for not being upto the mark by your boss just because of some carelessness. Landing a great job is one thing and doing it is quite another. You might think that the job you are currently in is not the right one for you. Believe me, even the Home Minister would rather be the Prime Minister. But, if you can not deliver w.r.t. the responsibilities you are entrusted with today, you will never be able to do the same in any job, no matter how reputed it is!!! So first things first, do not go for an MBA just because you do not like your job, because if you do so, you will never like any job.

Now comes one of the most common reasons – Money. For the last 7-8 years, the placement scenario in the top MBA colleges and even some of the B-rung business schools has changed drastically with respect to what it was say, 15 years ago. One reason – Money!! The astronomical salaries offered by the foreign companies has lured lakhs of youngsters into giving up everything and preparing for “the exam of their life”, as they call it. Who would not want to have a salary of 1 crore rupees? I’d love to!!! What we forget is the investment required to get into these business schools and the slogging required to repay that investment. No one pays 1 crore to the whole staff … not even in their wildest dreams!! If you are thinking that a day will come when every student passing from IIMs will get a crore plus salary, stop hallucinating right now!!! It will always be a one-in-hundred case. And it is very much possible that you end up in the median range of salaries, i.e. 12 lakhs per annum … tastes bitter na?? That is the truth my friend! And not to forget the huge loan you took for bearing the expenses. You are supposed to pay it also … (No, I am not joking!) So, My friend, there you are, with a CTC of 12 lakhs (The in-hand figure will be even lesser) and with a loan of the magnitude of ATLEAST 10+ lakhs. I hope I didn’t crush your plans of buying a SUV in your first year.

Many people say, “Why MBA after engineering?” Well, there is a very common answer, “I want to move to a faster career track and I think I should not have done engineering in the first place. It should have gone for a simple graduation, or even better, a BBA!”

Well, let me tell you this, never ever regret doing engineering (Well, I agree there are less beautiful girls in engineering, but once you are out of college, life’s heaven!!). Being an engineer myself, I once had the same dilemma but soon I realised the advantages I had by virtue of being an engineer. I have the analytical mind and the systematic thought process that was nurtured by the books and labs I suffered during the 4 golden years of engineering. And it is not a waste of one year. Please keep in mind the extra knowledge you get by investing one more year. Plus, maths is an added advantage (apart from learning the know-how about impressing girls). You sure would need basic maths in your MBA … right???

MBA is not a degree I am against, but I believe that only those should opt for it who really want to do it. IT is not a carnival where everyone can come and do a samba dance. In the same way, MBA is not for everybody. The situation nowadays reminds me of post independence (or was it post 60s-70s?), when there was a rush among parents in India to make ONLY doctors and engineers out of their kids, blatantly stating that these were the only respectable professions. Everyone seems mad about MBA and wants to do it at any cost. Engineers are doing it, doctors are doing it, reporters are doing it, everybody … I even know a professional dancer and a painter who are wannabe MBAs. I mean who will build the dams then – the unskilled workers? Who will operate upon a patient in a critical condition – a compounder? Who will collect the headlines for the news channels for the public to watch – an informer?

The answer is pretty simple and we all know that. NO!

Everyone is not meant to do everything. There has to be some difference between the skill sets people have. Society is made up of variety, not monotonousness. You have to recognize what you are really best at and go for that. That might not be the best paying job ever, but that would be one field where you will get maximum out of yourself and will climb the ladder in the best way possible.

Last, but not the least is the person who knows what she/he is doing by opting for an MBA. Such people need not be acquainted with the intricacies of business management, its not necessary for them to know all the keywords and financial terms. What matters is that one knows what is the next step – May it be adjusting to the hectic schedules of life in a business school after already qualifying a tough examination or the even tougher professional life after the placements. Remember it, such people know how to face the challenge that will come their way after they are done with the the current one. You need to have a broader insight and clear plan about your future if you wish to do an MBA. Its not just a Masters degree, its more than that. Its the investment of two of the most precious years in your life, a lot of effort and of course, a hell lot of money. And these people know how to get most out of an MBA – not just the money, but the quality of learning and the ability to implement the same in real life.

So, my friends, I suppose you are the best judge of yourselves. Just give this article a thought and do not take it as any other Gyan ka Article. I bet my bottom dollar that you would find a reason inside you, either to do an MBA or not to …

All the Best. 🙂

PS : After fighting with myself, I have agreed to allow myself to take CAT 2009. The condition is that I have to justify to myself, why exactly I want to do an MBA. If the reasons fall in any but the 5th category, I would not allow myself to go for it. I’d be doing the job I was meant to do, I was taught to do.


>
April 2009

“Ticket ticket!!!” He was awaken from a sleepless dream by the rough voice of the bus conductor. “uh… Lemme see if I do have any change”, he thought to himself and surprisingly, a ten rupee note was crumpled in his jeans pocket. Handing it over to the conductor, he looked around the bus. It was all packed and only saving grace was the window by his side and the cool air slapping on his face, making his always un-made hair go even more haywire. “Only if I didn’t have to go to Juhu so quick, I would have taken the train… Crap!!!”, he murmured to himself and then looked outside the window, falling back in his open eye dreams. “Why am I going to see her? After all this????” He had no answer.

4 months earlier

“Hello…??”, he spoke into the phone, knowing very well he should not have called her up in first place. He waited for the voice, waited for it to cut through his heart. “Hi Navi…”, the voice said on the other side. Both sides went silent. Perhaps they had too much to say to each other. Perhaps they had nothing.
“I am in Pune. Have a test. Can you meet me?”, he summoned up all his courage and asked her the forbidden.
“Why do you want to meet me Navi?”
“Well, I just thought…umm…well I wanted to meet you.”
“Hmmmm…. I can’t come. I do not want to see you anymore.”
His mind went blank on hearing the inevitable. “No, I must not fall down now…I have an exam to take in a few hours…. this was expected….I should not…must not..fall now….”, an array of random thoughts went through his head.

“Hmmmm…ok”, was all he could manage to utter before hanging up.
I still remember him crying for 2 hours after reaching back Mumbai at 12 midnight. I do not know how he held the fort the whole day. May be one day I will learn from him.

Suddenly the loud ringing of his cellphone woke him back to reality. It was 5:45 in the evening. “Anonymous Calling” blinked on the screen. He picked up the phone and talked like a machine to her. Following her instructions about how to reach her hotel, and noted everything in his head, which seldom forgets things. Not atleast about her.

10 minutes later, he was on his way to her hotel, in a rickshaw.
He smiled to himself,”Finally it will be over tonight”

He had yet to learn things.


>I stand by the bridge,
looking at the river, the sun going down,
vehicles running madly by my back,
people getting lost in this vast town,

I try to remember, I look into my mind,
Its hard to find the way,I feel as if I am blind,
I see the reflections,I search for water to find,
Only to be lost in the desert, only with sand in in my hand,

The sheep are going to the woods,
They don’t know what for!!!
They are habituated to be directed,
Dunno how to go to the “forbidden” land,

I also see the birds,flying high in the sky,
Oblivious of my pain, unable to hear my cry,
I see the beauties passing by,playing and singing loud,
They see the shining sun,ignorant of the giant cloud,

Finally I see myself, looking back at me,
A smile on “his” face, “he’s” asking me to be free,
He removes his clothes, and gets off his shoes,
And jumps into the river, swims free while the wind blows.


>
At last… After missing Proc Mock 1 and Proc mock 2, not to forget numerous moct cat exams and AIMCAT 1020,1019,1018,1017 and 1016, I got myself enrolled into TIME and CL test series. It was really getting too late and I am glad I enrolled myself finally. I always wondered what it could be like to take a test online?? I mean, last year I did take some tests online by CL, but to take these tests in a real test environment was an experience which was completely alien it.
So on fateful day of 2nd August, after requesting my CL centre coordinator to get me a slot when there was non available on SIS , I got the 10 am slot.

Whoa!! It took quite some time to get connected after entering the centre code into my sis test taking system. And lo! it was hanging time and again… So I was transferred to a different computer and started my test.

1st Blood :- I was shocked to see there were just two sections, instead of three. Actually I should not have been so much surprised, but as I was out of touch with CAT and its world, it took me quite some time to understand what was in front of me. Two sections, overall 80 questions. QA+LRDI in one section and EURC in another. 4 marks for a correct one, and -1 for every wrong one. “Well, that’s easy!!”, I thought to myself.

30 minutes into the test:-

“Damn it”, I told myself and checked my attempts. just 6 😐 This was really getting on my nerves. I was lagging in my favorite section, the one I always thought to be my stronghold. The reason :- My lack of practice with QA and LRDI was taking its toll on me. I wondered if I really needed a reality check.

1 hours 30 minutes gone :-

“Hmmmm.. not so bad”, I looked at the count of attempts and it said 17…hmmm… though not upto my standards, it still was a satisfaction. 90/17 =5.xx minutes per question. Not that bad if the accuracy was as much as I was calculating.

“60 minutes more…”

I clicked on the EURC section tab. 40 questions…60 minutes… I had pre-decided about this section to attempt as many questions in this section. I started with all non-RC questions, especially the sentence correction ones and fill in the blanks.

30 minutes remaining:-
Only RCs were left. “It’s Time…”, I told myself and started the RC section with all my enthusiasm.
Philosophical RCs have always been my most hated ones, not because they are so abstruse, but because they do not know themselves what they are meant to describe. they start with something, describe something else, and end with a completely new thing. It’s really irritating to spend 10 minutes and learn that it’s not worth attempting.

Anyways, I had decided to attempt maximum questions, so I stuck to my strategy and attempting even the most boring RCs and just hoped the results were as good as I expected them to be.

150 minutes :-
Test was over and it auto submitted itself.

I clicked on the link to check expected percentile.

89%ile was what the mail sent to me from CL people read.
I was really shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I expected something like 95+ %ile.

Later, after some days when the complete solutions came out, I came to know that I had got 97%ile in EURC, my weakest link till that day.

The even bigger shock was in the form of my QA+LRDI %ile. Just 67%ile.

I wasn’t shocked, but I decided to give my QA+LRDI proper attention and turn this performaance into a positive one.

i am still working on it.
🙂

Will post soon about my trysts with CAT preparations.


>
This emptiness, creeps into the chamber of my mind,
Telling me to withdraw, to take a step behind,
I am confused, my eyes are blank,
I do not know how deal with this,

I was at peace, with everything in place,
Or was it? Now the only question in the “empty space”?
It all seems absurd, to even ponder over,
when I do not even want a friend, or a lover,

Losing my way or learning? I can not say!
For I never knew to think like this way,
I fumble at the door, the door of the knowledge,
I want know why this change I can’t understand,

Which way to go, I swear I don’t know,
Will you leave me or deliver a deadly blow?
I want to run far far away from here,
To a place where, no fear would be near,

Is it a meteor unknown, from the deeps of another world?
Or is it the rose, from my very own garden? I don’t know!!
Glowing inside me, or is it a hallucinating spark?
I wander in the mist, searching for a light in the dark,


>
hmmm… Nice title…what you think? I think it is pretty good. Nice way to start a rather controversial issue. Well, not everyone agrees with me, but then, I never ask anyone to. :p

Back to the topic again, “Are you suffocating?” I mean, I am not talking about that cigarette that you smoked 37 minutes ago, neither about how you are feeling in the loo this early morning. No…. I prefer to talk about them rather straight forwardly . Arghhhhh…ok ok..

When was the last time you really felt at peace with her/him without wanting to feel so? I mean, you should not be looking for internal satisfaction, it should be always there, right? I have seen many relationships; not to forget some of mine too; where either one or the both of the participants(well a rather crude term to use, but then, lets be frank here at least) were just pretending so much to show the other one that they were happy that they almost forget the real meaning of happiness. It is not something which takes a ticket and catches a train, so that it can reach to you at a specified time and place. I hope you do not have that notion of happiness.

So do you feel a longing inside you even now? Despite having so many parties to attend together, how many times do you have dinner together on a non-party day? Is the relationship only meant for parties? I mean okay, in Indian context I am not going to be focusing much on Live-in relationships(though I want to, and I promise will write on it someday), still having a dinner with your better half is no more a taboo in Indian culture!! At least I do not think so! So, tell me, despite him doing so many “cute” and “sweet” things for you, how many times it had been the case that you have expected him to show some more love and were disappointed, only to put up a face still smiling and never telling him how you felt. You’d rather tell your inner self that everything is okay and it is the way life goes. Does it?? Is it what you wanted 1 year back? Are the scenarios same? Are you afraid of talking to him about the issues on your mind? Or are you too afraid of letting go of the stability in your life? Afraid of feeling like a loser?

For guys, I think I can explain your agony with your loved one much better as I am a guy(yes…stop grinning). “Why was her cell busy despite her telling about her studying and not being able to talk to me”, or “Is there someone else”, or “Why is she behaving so strange” to “Why she always starts the same issue…I told her there is nothing between me and my ex!!!” . Remember something??? :p Yes…that’s the way with guys, they will think all this, and will never ask the other one just because they are too afraid and insecure about making things worse than they already are. Wake up guys, it is the best thing to mouth your fears rather than accumulating them inside which often results in bizarre results. It is never wrong to say what is in your mind…never

So .. all I want to say is that do not suffocate… rise up and say what is inside your mind…if the other person loves you so much as both of you think, there should not be any space for such holes in a relationship which suck away all the melody from it.


>
I lie on my bed, trying your number,
it says you’re busy, “where” I wonder,
It rings for a while,and I start to smile,
Only to know that,you have cut it again,

I think of times, when you were not so cold,
I think of times, when I thought you were too bold,
You never ignored me,you dint run away,
I never thought, life would turn this way,

We liked each other, and we liked the way it was,
Never realised it was so fragile,just like glass,
We never complained, we never fought,
And faced together, the troubles life brought,

You said you loved me, what we had was all true,
Every sorrow was gone and every joy was new,
Now when I think of that, I wonder where it went,
That smile of yours, that smell of your scent,

I wonder where we lost, what made us pay this cost,
Why you became so cold,just like the winter frost,
I am still try to call you,trying to get you back,
May be we can make it work,despite evrything we lack.


>He Comes in the morning, we are still asleep,
Oblivious of outer world, while he picks our crap.
He always stinks, and I feel like yukkkk,
Sometimes I pity him, for his hard luck,

He goes from house to house, but seldom his own,
Leaving his son every morning,who has not yet grown,
I detest him, “What a filthy person!!”,
For he wears the same stinky clothes,come may whatever season,

I eat the sandwich, with the coffee or juice,
He works so hard, so that he can pay off his dues,
He works hard in the summer heat,
while I enjoy my wine and meat,

He toils hard for his family on the footpath, well so do I!
But he dreams of unending work walking all day, and never to fly,
I throw a bowl of rice, didn’t feel like eating,
His children have not eaten for last 2 days,

I wear my new jeans, my 3rd this month,
His wife mends her dress, coz its time for festivals,
My kids wanted a new TV, I bought it today,
His family was happy to get a gift, a new roof cover,

Had a party at home, for its new year’s eve,
We ate good, drank and it was fun to groove,
Next day I didn’t see him,”Must be celebrating!”
I was pissed off by afternoon, coz the garbage was smelling,

Two weeks have passed, and I know he won’t come now,
Some drunk drove on the footpath, and “The Ragpicker” was gone.
His face appears before me, whenever I see the rag bin

I perhaps miss that wrinkled face,his gleaming eyes,
and the yellow gloves on his hands,
Though I got someone else for the job,
His picture in my memory still hangs.


>Well… I posted this article about an year back on Pagalyguy. I thought of sharing it with you all.
You can access the original one here.. MY CAT STORY

Well…perhaps the first time I got aware of CAT “the exam ” was in 2003(yes even way back in 2003, I was equally ignorant), all kudos to Ranjit “Don”, the guy who leaked the papers. That time I thought,”The exam must be a very important one if such a mass level hysteria is in the general public!!”(Yes, I heard one of my elder cousins saying”Dammit…fir se padhna hoga 3 months…”):laugh:

Back then, I was in 12th standard with my results out and my dream of getting into IITs shattered…Also my hopes of fetching respectable marks in XIIth board examination were shattered when I almost flunked in my optional subject.And alongwith that dream, another one that kept me awake(The girl whom I loved all those two years …11th,12th and could not say a single word to her…Man I was some loser material back then!!!), came to an end as I had to return to my home, and she was still in Ranchi.:huh:

However less the margin be,a failure is still a failure. :idea:And I faced a dozen of them(missing the cut offs by silly margins) while looking at my career with a distraught look on my face.That was the first time in my life when I started helping myself out,thinking logically and sorting out the things as they are supposed to be, instead of expecting some miracle to happen and make life heaven..Puys who are reading this, note, “THERE ARE NO MIRACLES, ONLY ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS WHICH LOOK MIRACULOUS TO THOSE WHO DON’T WISH TO MOVE THEIR BUTT”:bigear:

Anyways, time passed quickly once I got into a nice Engg. college…not those biggies…but still a nice one(Yeah that’s what you say when you don’t get what you desire…get habituated to it as there will be many things in your life which you wont be getting…CAT might just being one of them…So make CAT something which doesn’t damage your life if u don’t get it)College life was good…we enjoyed(like everyone in college…and we rocked…even if no one cared..New friends,new life..new-found freedom and a single room…what more can a bachelor ask for??

Then came 2nd year and I heard some of my seniors preparing for CAT…i was surprised!!”Why are they preparing for another exam when they have got comfortable jobs??”, was the first question that popped in my mind.I simnply could not understand why they were trying for something to study when they were having their engg. degree…Why they were trying to put in vain everything they learnt in 4 years?

Anyways, many students in my college joined a nearby coaching centre(a famous one).I followed the suit and asked my parents for a huge sum(13500 INR, which was later invested in making calls to my so-called-GF, the same girl from Ranchi, my school days). They asked what it was for, I told them I wish to do MBA.:sarcasm:

Surprisingly, they were delighted!!So, I enrolled into the institute for 1 week trial period.Also attended the first class and performed well. BUT(yes that’s a big but), never went for the classes ever again. No special reason,I thought it was too much of an effort to maintain a discipline of going to classes(Now when I think of this, going to CL classes every weekend, and managing my hectic job as well, I just smile at what I was at that time).
Anyways, the CAT saga for my 2nd year was only this much and noting much happened afterwards.

Come 3rd year and everyone was mugging up the books and magzines and every single source of any information…GOD!!I came to know a bit later..1 months…that they were all preparing for the campus selection which would take place at the end of 3rd year. In my usual style, I brushed away the concern saying, “The first person to be selected for campus from our batch is ME”. Many people hated me for saying that. Perhaps they still do. I don’t care.

As the pre final year drew to a close, we had our University examination and the first company was scheduled to visit the college merely 5 days after the last exam.Infosys.Yes,like many others, that was my dream job also(Now I sometimes thank GOD taht all my dreams don’t come true!!).GOT REJECTED IN PI ROUND.Cried for the first time on phone while talking to my parents. Anyways, time flies by quickly and seldom we give a thought to the fact that how priorities change(form college to gf…from gf to job…again from job to gf….from gf to career…from career to family…and finally from everyone to one’s true self). My GF dumped me(perhaps for the 100th time in 5-6 years) and I started once again from the scratch.Sharing things with my diary was nothing new and now that I was all alone(barring a few friends who always have been alongside, come what may), it felt nice to vent out all the frustration on my diary.

10th-11thjuly-2006.Got the job. Not my dream job, certainly, but still,a slice of a cake is better than a hungry and aching stomach.That fateful night me and some of my closest friends decided to go for the CAT as now we dint have anything to be bothered about(Job in hand..GF gone…it really becomes a free life!!). Filled the form and started preparing in a group.I knew it from always quants was my stronghold and used to score 35-40% in it(read % ,not %ile) and DI section was also in the place. What worried me most was my performance in EURC section. I did get good scores, but was not consistent.

Never took a mock test all the way and suffered as a result.FIJs.Yes I know you are aware of them now but on the C-day in 2006, that was like a lightening bolt from hell…and it did struck me.Got a pathetic 1 in EURC(after calculating 32 a/c CL and 28 a/c IMS). 99.5%ile in QA and 95.3%ile in LRDI were not enough to help me cross the barrier and the year ended up as a disaster.

Took JMET and XAT also, cleared the cut off for JMET but never got into the merit list of any of the colleges.

CAT-2007:- Didn’t fill the form coz of a newly joined job and a desire to get atleast some work ex along with some experience of working in an office.

CAT-2008:- Working on it. Hoping to add something more to my not so illustrious career just in order to be able post here with some proud.

P.S.:- If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Thinking about my GF of 7 years??Dont think much friends….she’s married now..not meeeeee..some other guy…Life goes on …and no one cares..This, by no means is the end of the saga…I’ll see if I can sail through or get drowned….Coz if I sail through,its all ok…and if by chance i drown, he he he…then i’ll get a whole new world to explore.
CAT is by no means the end of the road for me. I believe in oppurtunities….not the results…I think of CAT as one of the many roads which I travel in my journey of life. What if I fail? No issues…I do lose…everyone does sometime…but the point is…that when you lose, don’t lose the lesson. I want to learn as much as I can from my pursuit of CAT.Also, this by no means to represent the whole story….abi to poori kahaani baaki hai…this is just the prologue…

we’ll see….and we’ll rock!!!


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SNOWFLAKES

The boy sits in a corner,out in the cold,

trying to fight the cold wid his rags,trying to be bold,

NO!He’s no character of some drama or play,

He’s an orphan,abandoned,struggling night and day,

He begs on the street,in his old torn jacket,

little he remembers of mom,he only has her locket,

She worked at a factory,chemicals they say,

She always coughed hard,and one day they took her away,

His neighbours left him out,coz the factory took the home,

They actually never liked her,coz she was a single mom,

He no more goes to school,he no more gets to play,

For snowflakes leave u cold,when the heater is away,

He got neighbours’ clothes,old and torn,

For now its festival tym,these things have to be thrown,

His friends don’t talk to him now,

Coz he can’t see them anymore,

He sleeps mostly on the footpath,lucky wen he gets a bench,

and dreams of new nd warm clothes,nd something nice to munch,

He dreams of the chicken soup,they enjoyed last winter,

And of the nice stories,his momtook away wid her,

I don’t wish to wake him up from his warm dream,

for its so cold out here,and he wud never be cold in his dream,

So I let him sleep and dream of the nice dinner he had last tym,

and he sleeps quitely,as if mom is singing a hymn…


>Well…. Someone once said that the world is a stage and we all are here to play our parts….. seems mine is going unnoticed…. I dunno wats wrong with this blog…but I simply get almost 0 people reading it and exactly 0 commenting. Well, I guess its just me here.

No issues. I will continue. And may be I won’t get anyone to read what I write, I will still write. I still do remember my motive of starting this blog, “To get things out of my system”.

I have to write my story. Fast.
Soon.

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