Category: college



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April 10, 2004

It was nearly 1 in the night and he was as usual busy with friends, cracking jokes and killing time, just like that. That was the general life there in the hostel at that time. Cigarettes, jokes, groups and tonnez to talk about. College life was still an infant, just 2 months old, starting from Valentine’s day that year itself(Sometimes I think ki starting date hi aisi thi, that’s why he had to face such things). So you can pretty much guess that they were still in the stage where you discuss things about crushes, failures,cribbing about not getting into IITs, chicks in the college and stuff like that. That night was no extraordinary.

Not for all atleast.

Not untill 1 am atleast.

“Abe tera phone hai be…”, Ashish shouted from his room.
He couldn’t believe his ears. Since the day he proposed , i.e. on fool’s day, there hasn’t been a single day when she called that late. Calls have been formal, perhaps out of awkwardness from his side, and perhaps due to confusion from her’s.

He rushed to Ashish’ room and took the phone from him. Putting his palm over the speaker, he asked Ashish, “Tere cell mein kitna balance hai?” “350”, came the reply, relieving him. He still had to get his Nokia 2300. Many things that would happen in the future were still to happen. Well, we will come to that l8r.

“Hello…”, he said.
“Hi…where were you?”, she asked.
“Well, was in my room. And as you know, I do not have a mobile. Not yet”, he said in an irritated tone, knowing that she was just making a base for something else. She was always like this. He always told her that she has a good argumentative attitude. Only that he did not like it when she used to apply it to him.

“You called so late??”, it was now his turn to enquire, and as usual, he was direct to the point.

“Hmmm… wanted to talk to you, if it is ok with you…”, she replied.

He sensed this won’t be alright. Though he was still inexperienced, but his instincts told him that there is something about that night that would change many things. Still, he can’t deny her. He CANT!!!

“Kya hua…you there??? “, She asked, listening to the storm spread in his silence.

“Yep…bolo… I am here…was just not expecting your call..not so late actually”, he said, snuggling into Anand’s chair. He had told Anand and his roommate(only one of them was in the hostel at that time that they can sleep in his bed instead and he would rather not like to be disturbed. Others had gone to some place or other, so it was sort of a privacy for him. Just like he wanted.)

“Well… how are you “, she asked him for the first time in many days after the fool’s day fiasco.

“I am good…gr8!!!”, he said, trying to find some meaning in her questions and trying to fool himself that this is just a simple call, that it has nothing to do with the proposal.

“Hmmmm….Are you alone there??”, she asked.

His heart missed a heartbeat. It cant be! For a moment he thought that the unthinkable is going to happen.
I can still feel the disappointment in his heart when it simply turned out to be a casual question and nothing as he dreamt of with open eyes. Anyways, he was glad she broke the ice by asking about the Fool’s Day Proposal. But at the same time, he feared the things he had known for a very long long time and prayed to god to favor him this one last time. Seems god also sleeps at night.

It started very innocently with a joke. He said something about the delhi girls and she was at her best denying it. Then talks drifted towards future, about college and her admission(Which was pending as of then.. she was in Delhi after her 12th board examinations) and stuff like that.
“Navneet, were you serious that day?”, suddenly she took a giant leap and asked it.

He was relieved…. he was afraid… He had the answer…He couldn’t say it….He had to…

“Yes ‘S’ “… he said and instantly smiled…smiled at the ease with which many things had become crystal clear between them…smiled at the joy it brought to him thinking that finally he had the courage to tell her that he loves her…smiled at his foolishness of April 1st proposal idea… smiled at everything…

“hmmm…really? You love me?”, she still needed some assurance, having had her own set of heartbreaks, she was no novice to these things afterall….or atleast he thought so…

“Hmmmm..yes S..I love you…and not from today.. I have loved you for last 3 years….And I was silent all these years only for everyone’s peace of mind…There was a lot of confusion already…and I thought perhaps the best thing to do is to be quiet…and not to tell anyone..”,He said more than he thought of…and felt proud about it..

“You know something??”, she said with a tinge of naughtiness in her voice…

“What!!??”, he was irritated..obviously..

“I knew that you sort of liked me… I knew it from the way you looked at me”, she said it so simply as if it was nothing….and he took 3 years to say it.

“Huh….We seldom talked in Ranchi….and whenever we did, it was in the presence of either my bros or yours…remember??”, it was nice seeing them having a heart to heart talk…it was really soothing after all these years of suffocating and keeping it inside, he was finally able to speak his mind….he did not know it but something was changing inside him that night…He will never be that shy guy again…He will never be an introvert again… he will never get away without speaking what his mind desires and what his heart thinks…
He will never back down again….

He is still fighting…

To be continued….


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“April Fool!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!” , he shouted into the phone… He waited for a response from the other side as he literally jumped on the hostel roof, laughing uncontrollably, so much that tears welled up in his eyes. He wondered if they were indeed from laughing :)…

Silence…no response yet, he wondered if she hung up. “Hello?… hello???”, he searched for her response.
“Its not funny, Navneet(he was yet to be christened as Navi…the name which will be his identity for many coming years, perhaps forever)”, she spoke softly and paused again.
He became serious now. No laughing, no jumping, no pretense, no more. He again said,”arrey it was just a prank re….watch the time :P”, and he looks into his cell time and said, “Its, past 12….today’s Fool’s day …ha ha ha ha”

Again silence…”Navneet, you’re so mean!!! I should have seen that coming. But again, when it comes to you, its not easy to guess”. He thought for a moment if she really believed him, then became sure by her tone. Still, there was something changed in her behaviour that made him suspicious. It had to be fool proof….Either this way, or no way….There can not be a middle way. “I can’t afford to be caught”, he thought to himself and tried changing the topic.

“So who are YOU gonna fool today?? Now that you have been already fooled 😛 ??”,he asked her, praying she doesn’t get any hint or clue about the reality…His eyes became moist, and he was sure it wasn’t from laughing this time…or ever… He controlled the emotions inside him..”This is not the time to think about it… I will think when I have time for myself… I will have plenty of it now…”, he said to himself, trying to console his aching heart, telling it that he knew this would happen, that there is nothing to be sad about…that she was never his…

“Navneet, were you seriously making me fool or…??”, the voice from other side cracked into the phone, and uttered the unsaid, the one which must not be said….the forbidden…or as he thought…

“Obviously, you really thought I would propose you?? :O lol… naah girl… It was a prank and just a prank!!! IT has nothing to do with reality.”, he recited the words he had been practicing for last four days, ever since he made this leak proof plan… April 1st was the perfect occasion to do it…. The three letters would either mean everything to her or he will turn it into a prank…. When he said them, she went silent and his greatest fears of the inevitable came true…so he had to switch to planB.. the prank thing…. he wondered what he would have said had she said yes…. “What if….”, he smiled to himself.

“Navneet…you there??”, the voice again brought him into reality, the harsh reality that meant she wasn’t least interested in him. He sobered up and braced himself.”Navneet, were you really joking??”, she asked again…”Ofcourse re !!! We are friends na..and its my duty to pull your leg every now and then!!! “, he said with the same deceptive smile and tone that would be his forte for coming years….”And besides, ki fark painda hai!!! Whether I was joking or not, you wouldn’t have accepted it anyways!!”,he blurted out….and cursed himself the very next moment for doing so….

“Navneet..??? Tell me please.. I need to know, coz I do not think you were just joking”
“Naah re…seriously… I swear!!!”, and he swore false things….something that he will do now all his life to hide things….perhaps he should tell her the truth….perhaps that’s the right thing to do….but as he said…”ki fark painda hai”

“Okay…as you wish….hmmmm… I thought…”, and she paused in between…

“What?? That I love you?? “

“hmmmm..dunno..you said it making it feel so real that I believed you”

“hmmm… imagine if I wasn’t bluffing, then what would you have done??”

“Navneet!! you know na..you know it all na??”

“Hmmmm…ryt…anyways…leave it…”

“Could you??”

“Yes…it was just a prank and let’s forget it here and now…”, he said with a sore throat…

“hmmmm..okkkk…”

“ok”

“okay chal have to hang up else someone would wake up and wonder what I am doing this late in the balcony”

“Okay…bbye…take care.. “

“Bye Navneet”

“Good night”

“good night”

He hangs up….and sits on the wall of hostel roof….thinking what he just did…. He proposed the girl he loved madly for last 4 years…and turned it into a prank…”It was the right thing to do….didn’t you know she would be shocked to know this??didn’t you understand it was foolish to do in first place???You saw na her reaction…she wasnt saying anything and once you convinced her that it was a prank, she was back to normal”

“But she was suspicious of your prank thing”, a faint voice spoke from within, the voice of his heart.

“Well, I think I convinced her pretty well”, the mind spoke.

He watched his mind and heart fight for something which they would never be able to understand….HIM….and smiled…. he knew this is just the beginning of a life long dispute…

He saw the screen saver in his cell…it read…

00:45 hours
April 01, 2004


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At last… After missing Proc Mock 1 and Proc mock 2, not to forget numerous moct cat exams and AIMCAT 1020,1019,1018,1017 and 1016, I got myself enrolled into TIME and CL test series. It was really getting too late and I am glad I enrolled myself finally. I always wondered what it could be like to take a test online?? I mean, last year I did take some tests online by CL, but to take these tests in a real test environment was an experience which was completely alien it.
So on fateful day of 2nd August, after requesting my CL centre coordinator to get me a slot when there was non available on SIS , I got the 10 am slot.

Whoa!! It took quite some time to get connected after entering the centre code into my sis test taking system. And lo! it was hanging time and again… So I was transferred to a different computer and started my test.

1st Blood :- I was shocked to see there were just two sections, instead of three. Actually I should not have been so much surprised, but as I was out of touch with CAT and its world, it took me quite some time to understand what was in front of me. Two sections, overall 80 questions. QA+LRDI in one section and EURC in another. 4 marks for a correct one, and -1 for every wrong one. “Well, that’s easy!!”, I thought to myself.

30 minutes into the test:-

“Damn it”, I told myself and checked my attempts. just 6 😐 This was really getting on my nerves. I was lagging in my favorite section, the one I always thought to be my stronghold. The reason :- My lack of practice with QA and LRDI was taking its toll on me. I wondered if I really needed a reality check.

1 hours 30 minutes gone :-

“Hmmmm.. not so bad”, I looked at the count of attempts and it said 17…hmmm… though not upto my standards, it still was a satisfaction. 90/17 =5.xx minutes per question. Not that bad if the accuracy was as much as I was calculating.

“60 minutes more…”

I clicked on the EURC section tab. 40 questions…60 minutes… I had pre-decided about this section to attempt as many questions in this section. I started with all non-RC questions, especially the sentence correction ones and fill in the blanks.

30 minutes remaining:-
Only RCs were left. “It’s Time…”, I told myself and started the RC section with all my enthusiasm.
Philosophical RCs have always been my most hated ones, not because they are so abstruse, but because they do not know themselves what they are meant to describe. they start with something, describe something else, and end with a completely new thing. It’s really irritating to spend 10 minutes and learn that it’s not worth attempting.

Anyways, I had decided to attempt maximum questions, so I stuck to my strategy and attempting even the most boring RCs and just hoped the results were as good as I expected them to be.

150 minutes :-
Test was over and it auto submitted itself.

I clicked on the link to check expected percentile.

89%ile was what the mail sent to me from CL people read.
I was really shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I expected something like 95+ %ile.

Later, after some days when the complete solutions came out, I came to know that I had got 97%ile in EURC, my weakest link till that day.

The even bigger shock was in the form of my QA+LRDI %ile. Just 67%ile.

I wasn’t shocked, but I decided to give my QA+LRDI proper attention and turn this performaance into a positive one.

i am still working on it.
🙂

Will post soon about my trysts with CAT preparations.


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“Navneet, Navneet!! Darwaaza khol!!”

“Who is this??? Baad mein aana…so rahein hain abhi” I muttered some swear words and turned my head inside my razaai again.

“Abe Ashish hain hum… khol…Phone hai tera…”

“Phone?? Abe Kal de dena. M Sleeping now”, I shouted, clearly annoyed with already having lost my sleep.

“Abe tera call hai”, Ashish shouted back.

I was puzzled. I remembered having talked to Ma in the evening. “And why on earth would someone call me at 2 am in night?”

Anyways, I got up and opened the door. Ashish was standing there in a baniyan and a three-quarter, with a half way burnt cigarette in his hand. Hostel life.. I smiled and muttered a half swear looking at him, cursing him for waking me up in this chilling winter night.
I looked at him and snatched the cigarette first from him, the took the phone. “Kiska hai??”, I asked Ashish. He simply motioned me in my room and put 3 more cigarettes in my pocket.
I was surprised at this act of benevolence from him, especially with cigarettes.
“Hello…”, i finally spoke into the speaker phone after realising that the other person was still on the line.

“Hi” A melodious voice went through my ears…to my mind… making it go blank…

It can’t be!!! It can’t be her!! I leaned on the the wall and slipped down to sit on the floor of my hostel room.

“Oh…Its you..”,was all that I could mutter.

“How are you Navi”, the voice asked. That was the first time someone called me by that name. The legacy still continues.

I was out of my body. I could see the look of shocked-joy on my face. I could see the dimly lit cigarette in my hand, with a fair amount of ash on its tip due to no attention being paid to it. I didn’t need it now. My biggest addiction was back. She was back.


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How often do you find a person who is an Engineer,Doctor,Journalist,Teacher etc etc etc, and is preparing for MBA? Not quite often? Well, I guess you are a loner, you do not socialize at all then.
Out of 10 people I meet, 7 are preparing for MBA or thinking about it as they “think”(I doubt that) that it would “give a boost” to their careers. Some say they want a better paycheck(Now this I can understand, but still have issues with it), while others say that it is their “Dream”. Still many are out there who simply are not too sure of the reason, but again they “think” it must be good, since everyone is doing it( Like it’s some new form of sex…eh…)

Well, why do we feel the need in first place to get an MBA degree? Is it the money?Or the career boost (or bournvita for that reason) thing? Or is it just a hazy dream(do not confuse with “wet dreams”) ? My question is, is it really what we think it is?

No! It is not that. There has to be more to it. Don’t you want to become someone else because you failed in becoming what you were meant to be, what you were taught to be. You failed to grasp the engineering concepts and today you are at complete loss as to how to direct the workers under you to fix a certain machine which stopped working last weekend. You failed to understand your networks paper properly(spending too much time checking girls out in the class?) and the result is today you can’t fix the issue in creating a secure network at your workplace. Or do you find yourself at the abyss of self confidence when it comes to manage your class, or reporting an accident to your local newspaper office?

So you have decided to run away. Great. You are on your way to become a certified loser. I would not stop you. Why? Simple, you would go on committing such mistakes, giving me apt reason and matter to write on(you see, writing is my hobby…and I sure enjoy it). Also, it would take more than just an advice to make you realise that you have committed a mistake by taking up MBA course at the cost of abandoning your current profession. It will take you a very much coveted MBA job to realise that. The moment when you realise that the MBA job is even tougher than your previous job, you would feel like running away from there also. And I bet you would not have any place to go then. Why? Ask yourself, weren’t it you who abandoned all you had just to get that “dream” fulfilled, to get that “extra money”, to have your share of career”boost”(I prefer complan and bournvita btw) and to get that sense of “I am doing it the right way as everyone is doing it that way…So what if I am getting screwed? Everyone is!!” Well I don’t think you would have same notions about all this MBA things then as you have now.

I am not advocating against MBA or something. I am just saying, do not go for it thinking that it will “change the course of your life”, because it would not. If you think running away from your responsibilities can make you immune to them, or can transform you into something who would learn other things quite effortlessly, then either you are a genius, or you-know-who. Riding up the ladder is not a bad thing, it never is! But jumping from one ladder to another just because yours had a tilted leg puts you in a grave danger. You do not have your ladder which you knew so well, and you will have to balance yourself on a new ladder which will sure take more time and even more effort.

So be sure about this MBA thing before you fill up the forms.. 😛

PS:- All this was written in a hazy state of mind, under the effect of studying hacking, web designing, Quants, EURC , hard rock music and a resolution of being smoke free(and hopefully liquor free) for a lifetime(which is not gonna end anywhere soon, not atleast for next 50-60 years)


>Well… I posted this article about an year back on Pagalyguy. I thought of sharing it with you all.
You can access the original one here.. MY CAT STORY

Well…perhaps the first time I got aware of CAT “the exam ” was in 2003(yes even way back in 2003, I was equally ignorant), all kudos to Ranjit “Don”, the guy who leaked the papers. That time I thought,”The exam must be a very important one if such a mass level hysteria is in the general public!!”(Yes, I heard one of my elder cousins saying”Dammit…fir se padhna hoga 3 months…”):laugh:

Back then, I was in 12th standard with my results out and my dream of getting into IITs shattered…Also my hopes of fetching respectable marks in XIIth board examination were shattered when I almost flunked in my optional subject.And alongwith that dream, another one that kept me awake(The girl whom I loved all those two years …11th,12th and could not say a single word to her…Man I was some loser material back then!!!), came to an end as I had to return to my home, and she was still in Ranchi.:huh:

However less the margin be,a failure is still a failure. :idea:And I faced a dozen of them(missing the cut offs by silly margins) while looking at my career with a distraught look on my face.That was the first time in my life when I started helping myself out,thinking logically and sorting out the things as they are supposed to be, instead of expecting some miracle to happen and make life heaven..Puys who are reading this, note, “THERE ARE NO MIRACLES, ONLY ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS WHICH LOOK MIRACULOUS TO THOSE WHO DON’T WISH TO MOVE THEIR BUTT”:bigear:

Anyways, time passed quickly once I got into a nice Engg. college…not those biggies…but still a nice one(Yeah that’s what you say when you don’t get what you desire…get habituated to it as there will be many things in your life which you wont be getting…CAT might just being one of them…So make CAT something which doesn’t damage your life if u don’t get it)College life was good…we enjoyed(like everyone in college…and we rocked…even if no one cared..New friends,new life..new-found freedom and a single room…what more can a bachelor ask for??

Then came 2nd year and I heard some of my seniors preparing for CAT…i was surprised!!”Why are they preparing for another exam when they have got comfortable jobs??”, was the first question that popped in my mind.I simnply could not understand why they were trying for something to study when they were having their engg. degree…Why they were trying to put in vain everything they learnt in 4 years?

Anyways, many students in my college joined a nearby coaching centre(a famous one).I followed the suit and asked my parents for a huge sum(13500 INR, which was later invested in making calls to my so-called-GF, the same girl from Ranchi, my school days). They asked what it was for, I told them I wish to do MBA.:sarcasm:

Surprisingly, they were delighted!!So, I enrolled into the institute for 1 week trial period.Also attended the first class and performed well. BUT(yes that’s a big but), never went for the classes ever again. No special reason,I thought it was too much of an effort to maintain a discipline of going to classes(Now when I think of this, going to CL classes every weekend, and managing my hectic job as well, I just smile at what I was at that time).
Anyways, the CAT saga for my 2nd year was only this much and noting much happened afterwards.

Come 3rd year and everyone was mugging up the books and magzines and every single source of any information…GOD!!I came to know a bit later..1 months…that they were all preparing for the campus selection which would take place at the end of 3rd year. In my usual style, I brushed away the concern saying, “The first person to be selected for campus from our batch is ME”. Many people hated me for saying that. Perhaps they still do. I don’t care.

As the pre final year drew to a close, we had our University examination and the first company was scheduled to visit the college merely 5 days after the last exam.Infosys.Yes,like many others, that was my dream job also(Now I sometimes thank GOD taht all my dreams don’t come true!!).GOT REJECTED IN PI ROUND.Cried for the first time on phone while talking to my parents. Anyways, time flies by quickly and seldom we give a thought to the fact that how priorities change(form college to gf…from gf to job…again from job to gf….from gf to career…from career to family…and finally from everyone to one’s true self). My GF dumped me(perhaps for the 100th time in 5-6 years) and I started once again from the scratch.Sharing things with my diary was nothing new and now that I was all alone(barring a few friends who always have been alongside, come what may), it felt nice to vent out all the frustration on my diary.

10th-11thjuly-2006.Got the job. Not my dream job, certainly, but still,a slice of a cake is better than a hungry and aching stomach.That fateful night me and some of my closest friends decided to go for the CAT as now we dint have anything to be bothered about(Job in hand..GF gone…it really becomes a free life!!). Filled the form and started preparing in a group.I knew it from always quants was my stronghold and used to score 35-40% in it(read % ,not %ile) and DI section was also in the place. What worried me most was my performance in EURC section. I did get good scores, but was not consistent.

Never took a mock test all the way and suffered as a result.FIJs.Yes I know you are aware of them now but on the C-day in 2006, that was like a lightening bolt from hell…and it did struck me.Got a pathetic 1 in EURC(after calculating 32 a/c CL and 28 a/c IMS). 99.5%ile in QA and 95.3%ile in LRDI were not enough to help me cross the barrier and the year ended up as a disaster.

Took JMET and XAT also, cleared the cut off for JMET but never got into the merit list of any of the colleges.

CAT-2007:- Didn’t fill the form coz of a newly joined job and a desire to get atleast some work ex along with some experience of working in an office.

CAT-2008:- Working on it. Hoping to add something more to my not so illustrious career just in order to be able post here with some proud.

P.S.:- If you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Thinking about my GF of 7 years??Dont think much friends….she’s married now..not meeeeee..some other guy…Life goes on …and no one cares..This, by no means is the end of the saga…I’ll see if I can sail through or get drowned….Coz if I sail through,its all ok…and if by chance i drown, he he he…then i’ll get a whole new world to explore.
CAT is by no means the end of the road for me. I believe in oppurtunities….not the results…I think of CAT as one of the many roads which I travel in my journey of life. What if I fail? No issues…I do lose…everyone does sometime…but the point is…that when you lose, don’t lose the lesson. I want to learn as much as I can from my pursuit of CAT.Also, this by no means to represent the whole story….abi to poori kahaani baaki hai…this is just the prologue…

we’ll see….and we’ll rock!!!


>Well…I wrote this poem quite sometime back and accidently bumped into it yesterday.

So posting it here.
My first ever proper composition.

THIS POEM IS DEDICATED TO ALL YOU SMOKERS SITTING OUT THERE N SMOKING YOUR DAMN LIVES UP IN THE AIR….

I still remember the day,
when i lit my first cigarette,
save me god!was all i did pray,
coz i dint want the feeling2stay,

that nasty feeling of smoke,
so much that i begun to choke,
my senses were lost n gone,
why i did it…
i began to frown,

i dint want to tell anyone,
coz i knew they would laugh at me,
decided not2smoke,wid all my grit,
n make myself as sacred as can be,

but i got lost n’ll pay the cost,
ya i know wat can happen at most,
but cant help it!!M ADDICTED…
addicted2death away from life,towards my end,

Even today I swear to quit smoking,
but now it’s become a different thing,
u cant say that i did cheat,m not a liar,
coz now I smoke…ya I do!!!but widout fire..

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