Category: breakup



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Well …sorry for not posting “the” post… thing is… off late I have been jinxed sort of when it comes to accidents… and as usual/unusual… I had an accident yesterday….no major injuries…but I am bedridden for another two days…. So posting one of my articles here posted by me on one of my friends’s blog.

FYI– I am still writing the post 😐

WHY NOT TO DO AN MBA:-

What do you do when you do not know the purpose of your life, what you are meant to do?

Wanna know?

You opt for an MBA.

Yes, stupid as it may look at first sight, it is the truth which we all know deep inside our hearts. Be it an IT guy who works for 15-17 hours a day, gets paid for just 8-9 and dreams of studying when he reaches home (while swallowing the already cold dinner), all so that he could perform well in some MBA exam and get into a decent B-school, or be it an engineer working in a steel plant or an automobile manufacturing company, exhausted because of the physical exertion and the pathetic work environment she/he has to face day in and day out.

Most common reasons for people taking up MBA? Well.. The list is very simple..

1. I do not like my job. (But I do not know if I would like the MBA job or not!)

2. I want a higher salary. (But the fees in MBA colleges are so high… Will I be able to save anything in the initial years?)

3. I did a mistake by studying engineering. I should have saved an year. (But could I have acquired the same mental ability and level of thinking?)

4. Well, everyone is doing it. It can’t be wrong!!! ( Like everyone was doing drugs and open sex in 70s in US!) or I like the tag of MBA after my name. (Well, is it not that I am paying a lot for a tag?!) or I always wanted to do an MBA (Because my uncle’s sister’s son did it when I was in 10th grade and now he is so well placed!)

5. I have a dream. I want to acquire the required skills to fulfill that dream. I believe in myself and I know what exactly I am doing.

Well, now decide which category do you fall in. I am asking you this because some 6 months ago when I asked myself, I fell in the first category. That was before I lost my job. Afterwards, it has been quite a different story for me. Anyways, that’s a completely different story. Fast, forward, I had my CAT results in hand and was completely devastated. So devastated that I once doubted the very reason behind doing an MBA. All those mocks, all those 99+%iles, all those excuses from office in the name of bad health, all just for one reason – MBA. It was a very tough phase for me. I even termed MBA as a sheer waste of money.

Now, unless you are sure you fall in the 5th and the last category, I’d suggest you should review your situation as you might be wasting both your time and money after the highly coveted, distastefully advertised and much advocated “MBA” .

See, I am a metallurgical engineer by degree, so it would be best for me to explain taking myself as an example. Before I took the course up, I didn’t even know what is metallurgy. Right now, I can’t say I am the best metallurgist ever, I can sure say that I know the “what and how” of metallurgy. And given that I have a degree in metallurgy, I should be working somewhere in TATA Steel, JSW Bellary, ISPAT, VIZAG, SAIL or any of the Steel manufacturing companies in India. I have never ever been to even one of them (except for the one day visits we had in college days). In fact, I worked with one of the leading software companies of India for almost two years before realizing that I have wasted my two years. It is a real pain in the posterior to have the constantly nagging thought in your mind that the code you are writing doesn’t make sense when seen in light of what you have studied all your life. You were not made for this!!! Then I started preparing for CAT, or MBA in general, What followed next was nothing less of a dream run. I had great mocks, above average CAT and one devastating section. Results. NOT QUALIFIED. Some dreams do turn into nightmares. Also, it wasn’t only my CAT dream that got shattered. A lot more was at stake.

Though I had appeared for MBA exams in season 2006 and 2008 too, with little success, I decided to give it another go. Then I realised one thing. I studied Metallurgy, worked in a software company and now wanted to go for an MBA! Why in the first place did I not go for a metallurgy job? The one area where I am certified to work!! I literally fought with myself. I pitched various reasons for not doing a job in metallurgy. None worked. I am applying for a job in the steel industry now.

Now let me put it like this.

You give up metallurgy to go into the software sector, thinking it would boost your career like anything and that you would be earning big bucks in a year or two. WAKE UP!!! My company had announced two months ago that there would be no appraisals this fiscal year. Same is the situation with the other players in this field. Now picture yourself if you were selected in a Metallurgy based company. My friends in SAIL are earning more than double of what I used to get when I left my job. Two damn years and all you get is a work experience certificate, and a lesson about why not to be a software engineer (Believe me or not, I am still writing that book for the last 1 year). To hell with that!!! Nothing like the Cinderella dream you had while sitting for that PPT in college.

Well … I think I should rather write what I intended to write in first place. Let’s get back to the categories and see what is wrong in doing an MBA for the wrong reasons.

Well, job is not a very pleasant thing, barring the paycheck that comes at the end of the month (which of course is NEVER ENOUGH). Everyone wants to be the least exploited employee. Believe me, employers do exploit you, you cannot run away from that. It is ubiquitous. Get on with your job and try to learn the basics of it, especially if you are a fresher, a newbie in your job. You would not like being reprimanded for not being upto the mark by your boss just because of some carelessness. Landing a great job is one thing and doing it is quite another. You might think that the job you are currently in is not the right one for you. Believe me, even the Home Minister would rather be the Prime Minister. But, if you can not deliver w.r.t. the responsibilities you are entrusted with today, you will never be able to do the same in any job, no matter how reputed it is!!! So first things first, do not go for an MBA just because you do not like your job, because if you do so, you will never like any job.

Now comes one of the most common reasons – Money. For the last 7-8 years, the placement scenario in the top MBA colleges and even some of the B-rung business schools has changed drastically with respect to what it was say, 15 years ago. One reason – Money!! The astronomical salaries offered by the foreign companies has lured lakhs of youngsters into giving up everything and preparing for “the exam of their life”, as they call it. Who would not want to have a salary of 1 crore rupees? I’d love to!!! What we forget is the investment required to get into these business schools and the slogging required to repay that investment. No one pays 1 crore to the whole staff … not even in their wildest dreams!! If you are thinking that a day will come when every student passing from IIMs will get a crore plus salary, stop hallucinating right now!!! It will always be a one-in-hundred case. And it is very much possible that you end up in the median range of salaries, i.e. 12 lakhs per annum … tastes bitter na?? That is the truth my friend! And not to forget the huge loan you took for bearing the expenses. You are supposed to pay it also … (No, I am not joking!) So, My friend, there you are, with a CTC of 12 lakhs (The in-hand figure will be even lesser) and with a loan of the magnitude of ATLEAST 10+ lakhs. I hope I didn’t crush your plans of buying a SUV in your first year.

Many people say, “Why MBA after engineering?” Well, there is a very common answer, “I want to move to a faster career track and I think I should not have done engineering in the first place. It should have gone for a simple graduation, or even better, a BBA!”

Well, let me tell you this, never ever regret doing engineering (Well, I agree there are less beautiful girls in engineering, but once you are out of college, life’s heaven!!). Being an engineer myself, I once had the same dilemma but soon I realised the advantages I had by virtue of being an engineer. I have the analytical mind and the systematic thought process that was nurtured by the books and labs I suffered during the 4 golden years of engineering. And it is not a waste of one year. Please keep in mind the extra knowledge you get by investing one more year. Plus, maths is an added advantage (apart from learning the know-how about impressing girls). You sure would need basic maths in your MBA … right???

MBA is not a degree I am against, but I believe that only those should opt for it who really want to do it. IT is not a carnival where everyone can come and do a samba dance. In the same way, MBA is not for everybody. The situation nowadays reminds me of post independence (or was it post 60s-70s?), when there was a rush among parents in India to make ONLY doctors and engineers out of their kids, blatantly stating that these were the only respectable professions. Everyone seems mad about MBA and wants to do it at any cost. Engineers are doing it, doctors are doing it, reporters are doing it, everybody … I even know a professional dancer and a painter who are wannabe MBAs. I mean who will build the dams then – the unskilled workers? Who will operate upon a patient in a critical condition – a compounder? Who will collect the headlines for the news channels for the public to watch – an informer?

The answer is pretty simple and we all know that. NO!

Everyone is not meant to do everything. There has to be some difference between the skill sets people have. Society is made up of variety, not monotonousness. You have to recognize what you are really best at and go for that. That might not be the best paying job ever, but that would be one field where you will get maximum out of yourself and will climb the ladder in the best way possible.

Last, but not the least is the person who knows what she/he is doing by opting for an MBA. Such people need not be acquainted with the intricacies of business management, its not necessary for them to know all the keywords and financial terms. What matters is that one knows what is the next step – May it be adjusting to the hectic schedules of life in a business school after already qualifying a tough examination or the even tougher professional life after the placements. Remember it, such people know how to face the challenge that will come their way after they are done with the the current one. You need to have a broader insight and clear plan about your future if you wish to do an MBA. Its not just a Masters degree, its more than that. Its the investment of two of the most precious years in your life, a lot of effort and of course, a hell lot of money. And these people know how to get most out of an MBA – not just the money, but the quality of learning and the ability to implement the same in real life.

So, my friends, I suppose you are the best judge of yourselves. Just give this article a thought and do not take it as any other Gyan ka Article. I bet my bottom dollar that you would find a reason inside you, either to do an MBA or not to …

All the Best. 🙂

PS : After fighting with myself, I have agreed to allow myself to take CAT 2009. The condition is that I have to justify to myself, why exactly I want to do an MBA. If the reasons fall in any but the 5th category, I would not allow myself to go for it. I’d be doing the job I was meant to do, I was taught to do.


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April 2009

“Ticket ticket!!!” He was awaken from a sleepless dream by the rough voice of the bus conductor. “uh… Lemme see if I do have any change”, he thought to himself and surprisingly, a ten rupee note was crumpled in his jeans pocket. Handing it over to the conductor, he looked around the bus. It was all packed and only saving grace was the window by his side and the cool air slapping on his face, making his always un-made hair go even more haywire. “Only if I didn’t have to go to Juhu so quick, I would have taken the train… Crap!!!”, he murmured to himself and then looked outside the window, falling back in his open eye dreams. “Why am I going to see her? After all this????” He had no answer.

4 months earlier

“Hello…??”, he spoke into the phone, knowing very well he should not have called her up in first place. He waited for the voice, waited for it to cut through his heart. “Hi Navi…”, the voice said on the other side. Both sides went silent. Perhaps they had too much to say to each other. Perhaps they had nothing.
“I am in Pune. Have a test. Can you meet me?”, he summoned up all his courage and asked her the forbidden.
“Why do you want to meet me Navi?”
“Well, I just thought…umm…well I wanted to meet you.”
“Hmmmm…. I can’t come. I do not want to see you anymore.”
His mind went blank on hearing the inevitable. “No, I must not fall down now…I have an exam to take in a few hours…. this was expected….I should not…must not..fall now….”, an array of random thoughts went through his head.

“Hmmmm…ok”, was all he could manage to utter before hanging up.
I still remember him crying for 2 hours after reaching back Mumbai at 12 midnight. I do not know how he held the fort the whole day. May be one day I will learn from him.

Suddenly the loud ringing of his cellphone woke him back to reality. It was 5:45 in the evening. “Anonymous Calling” blinked on the screen. He picked up the phone and talked like a machine to her. Following her instructions about how to reach her hotel, and noted everything in his head, which seldom forgets things. Not atleast about her.

10 minutes later, he was on his way to her hotel, in a rickshaw.
He smiled to himself,”Finally it will be over tonight”

He had yet to learn things.


>Its time.

Goodbye Mumbai. Love ya. 😦

Will miss ya a lot.

😦

>He- The Voice


>
He sits in the corner, sipping his black coffee,
Wearing an indifferent expression, neither violent nor meek,
He watches the people, running away from themselves,
He wonders at them, “Dunno how that helps”,

He has seen a lot and has gone through much,
He pretends he shut it,but it opens at a touch,
The evenings of laughter, the mornings of joy,
Sometimes feeling as if he was treated like a toy,

He sees people thinking that they will forget,
He laughs at these fools, and wished they never met,
He sips his black coffee, storms stirring inside,
He must choose an option.now he must decide,

To be with these people and be like just them,
Or run away from everything,turn all in the flames,
I don’t know what he will do, but I will be with him,
For he is the voice the screaming within.

PS:- I know off late my poems might have lost that touch. It happens. I do not feel like writing anything romantic anymore…. may be some personal reasons, but these things are not anymore for me…. I might even stop writing… It takes too much to bring on paper what goes inside my mind. I do not write fictional poetry. I write what I have seen. I write my own experiences….. perhaps that is the reason I do not wish to write anymore… I am fed up of being at the receiving end all the time and telling about it on my blog…may be I am ashamed of myself…of failing time and again…. May be… It always happens 😦

Just pray this was the last time I fell for someone…I wish either I could never rise…or rise so much that I could never see anyone worthy enough to fall for…

😦

>A lost mind


>It has been a pretty much messed up life till now…. I started quite fine.. was a bright very bright kid… good in studies…good in habits… good in every damn field one can imagine of…then I messed up.. I messed up big time and like they say… The more I tried to get out of the mess.. the more I got into it.. Seeing what it has brought to me today makes me wonder, should I be proud of myself or worried about the guy I have become…. I am a mess… I need to come out of this …if only for the sake of those who have put their trust in me… I know it might not make much difference to me right now, the failure or success, but again I know it doesn’t make a difference to those who are as much responsible for this mess as I am… and perhaps for that reason….whether you call it vengeance or redemption, I have to pull myself away from it or it will tear me apart… I am confused, I am down, I am almost out…. almost… not yet there…. I have to do this… just have to hold myself together…. have to think logically for once in my life… I know its hard to make exceptions but this is one that I won’t regret…

I have to do it…. Hold on Navneet… hold on my buddy..hold on… You can do this…you are better than this…

Yes.. I am better than this 🙂


>Looking into those enchanting eyes,
I muttered something,eating the french fries,
She said something interesting,
I smiled, hiding all my cries,

A stroll on the beach alone,
with no one else around the rising sun,
Hands held together, never to let go,
fingers entwined, like often our fates go,

A chicken tikka sandwich, which I munch,
The screams go unheard, in the sound of the crunch,
I pretend to be happy, try to smile,
she thinks it’s alright, unable to see the storm,

A call after midnight, a conversation starts,
I say it’s over, I’ve already tried too hard,
She blames me of many things, stupidity included,
And hangs on me forever, explanations misunderstood,

I rest on my bed, smiling at what I did, Smiling at how I played my part,
it might separate us, but will save me the pain of being torn apart,
I might be wrong like always before, I agree to that,
But its the best thing to do, Brutal but Honest, no doubts on that…


>
I was walking alone, on the wet sand,
you said you wanted to hold my hand,
You said you wanted to be with me,
No matter whatever the situation be,

You said you will always be by my side,
and that you have nothing to hide,
You took me from me, you took my spirit,
You changed me into what I see in mirror but don’t know

You told this was special, that we were so meant to be,
And I just smiled, happy and joyous and free,
You made me fly, made me laugh, I ask now “WHY?”,
When all that you wanted to do was to make me cry?

You decided all, when to come, when to go, when to leave me alone,
Never thought of me, as if I was nothing, lifeless like a stone,
You left me stranded on crossroads, without telling which way to go,
“What do I do now?”..I won’t ask YOU! Though even I don’t know!


>
hmmm… Nice title…what you think? I think it is pretty good. Nice way to start a rather controversial issue. Well, not everyone agrees with me, but then, I never ask anyone to. :p

Back to the topic again, “Are you suffocating?” I mean, I am not talking about that cigarette that you smoked 37 minutes ago, neither about how you are feeling in the loo this early morning. No…. I prefer to talk about them rather straight forwardly . Arghhhhh…ok ok..

When was the last time you really felt at peace with her/him without wanting to feel so? I mean, you should not be looking for internal satisfaction, it should be always there, right? I have seen many relationships; not to forget some of mine too; where either one or the both of the participants(well a rather crude term to use, but then, lets be frank here at least) were just pretending so much to show the other one that they were happy that they almost forget the real meaning of happiness. It is not something which takes a ticket and catches a train, so that it can reach to you at a specified time and place. I hope you do not have that notion of happiness.

So do you feel a longing inside you even now? Despite having so many parties to attend together, how many times do you have dinner together on a non-party day? Is the relationship only meant for parties? I mean okay, in Indian context I am not going to be focusing much on Live-in relationships(though I want to, and I promise will write on it someday), still having a dinner with your better half is no more a taboo in Indian culture!! At least I do not think so! So, tell me, despite him doing so many “cute” and “sweet” things for you, how many times it had been the case that you have expected him to show some more love and were disappointed, only to put up a face still smiling and never telling him how you felt. You’d rather tell your inner self that everything is okay and it is the way life goes. Does it?? Is it what you wanted 1 year back? Are the scenarios same? Are you afraid of talking to him about the issues on your mind? Or are you too afraid of letting go of the stability in your life? Afraid of feeling like a loser?

For guys, I think I can explain your agony with your loved one much better as I am a guy(yes…stop grinning). “Why was her cell busy despite her telling about her studying and not being able to talk to me”, or “Is there someone else”, or “Why is she behaving so strange” to “Why she always starts the same issue…I told her there is nothing between me and my ex!!!” . Remember something??? :p Yes…that’s the way with guys, they will think all this, and will never ask the other one just because they are too afraid and insecure about making things worse than they already are. Wake up guys, it is the best thing to mouth your fears rather than accumulating them inside which often results in bizarre results. It is never wrong to say what is in your mind…never

So .. all I want to say is that do not suffocate… rise up and say what is inside your mind…if the other person loves you so much as both of you think, there should not be any space for such holes in a relationship which suck away all the melody from it.


>
And as she prepared, to move away,
He searched for words,something to say,
She looked at him, trying to smile,
He realised, they had only a while,

He remembered, the time they spent,
Smiling he wondered, “What that meant”,
She gathered strength, to face the things,
“No more heartaches, No moody swings”,

They wondered inside, how to live their lives,
But none said a single word,there were no cries,
Though they were parting,it was no parting away,
But they must face this,they didn’t have a say,

He thinks of her,perhaps even she does,
He wants her back, not that now it matters,
The love is gone, the dream is gone,
He is drenched in rain,standing all alone


>
I lie on my bed, trying your number,
it says you’re busy, “where” I wonder,
It rings for a while,and I start to smile,
Only to know that,you have cut it again,

I think of times, when you were not so cold,
I think of times, when I thought you were too bold,
You never ignored me,you dint run away,
I never thought, life would turn this way,

We liked each other, and we liked the way it was,
Never realised it was so fragile,just like glass,
We never complained, we never fought,
And faced together, the troubles life brought,

You said you loved me, what we had was all true,
Every sorrow was gone and every joy was new,
Now when I think of that, I wonder where it went,
That smile of yours, that smell of your scent,

I wonder where we lost, what made us pay this cost,
Why you became so cold,just like the winter frost,
I am still try to call you,trying to get you back,
May be we can make it work,despite evrything we lack.


>If you could remember, I posted my CAT story from Pagalguy sometime back. That was the first part of my story. I am posting now the second part, which is by no means the final one, as I am yet to script my story. Will post the final part sometime next year when I am sure my war with CAT is over. Here is the post I wrote:-

Continued from

CAT’s a coffee shop on the highway (All I wanted to Speak about CAT)

Well… I had penned down my experience till 2007 season before, but thought of writing the things that happened thereafter as I have learnt new things during last one year. First of all my apologies to those who might find it rather long and unnecessary in first place, I just had to write it, if only for my own sake.

A job which keeps you engaged from 7 in the morning till 10-11-12 in the night is not the most optimum one to prepare for the MBA exams (especially CAT) side by side. Reasons? Well… you would not like it when its 1 am in the morning while you are munching ( or shall I rather say, swallowing) your dinner while reading the funda books or a novel. You keep studying till 3-4 am in the morning and wake up again at 7 in the morning, only to realise that the washroom is occupied and you will be again running after your company bus for the umpteenth time this week. You sure make good friends with the rickshaw wallahs and the driver and conductor of the bus this way though. I am sure you would like to spend your time in a better manner than this.

Well, the only one good thing Mumbai traffic has given me is the plenty of time in the bus to study and to sleep. Its really a bliss when the bus is stuck in the traffic and you are solving mathematics, the concentration you can create is AWESOME…I loved doing that. Besides, it also meant I would be spending less time in office and so the burden would be lesser than usual(or so I thought…lol).

Now comes the office part. One lesson. Never ever tell anyone in your office( unless they are completely harmless or are your bestest of friends) that you are preparing for MBA. Not at least when she/he is your PM/BDO/Senior Manager. It helps little to your already hectic schedule when you are reprimanded on not finishing the given task within the time frame(which of course is lesser than the life span of antimatter). Also, it is very much probable that you will be taunted that your work is getting affected due to your MBA preparations(They seldom think its the other way round). Huh.

Well…do not let your senior know of the MBA sites you have been surfing of late. She/He might as well stalk you there too and ask you to not to use these sites and rather concentrate on your work. USE LUNCH TIME FOR ALL READING(IF YOU CAN DO WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT). HAVE LUNCH WHEN YOUR SENIOR RETURNS FROM THE LUNCH.

Get back on the first bus to home rather than waiting and working in the office till 10 pm in the night. It is really irritating when you have to do that as you know that you will not be getting enough time to study and sleep early and that you will be caught in the loop again.

Well… Now you know what I went through last 1 year. I enrolled into CL weekend classes and surprised myself by performing really good. I mean, I got 74%ile in the diagnostic mock. And thereafter I improved myself pretty good. I never felt like I was out of touch or something like that. But the real surprise came when I took the 1st mock. I got a pretty decent 95+%ile. It was really morale boosting. Thereafter I kept studying regularly.

NOTE:- DO NOT FALL FOR ANY (AND THAT MEANS ANY ANY ANY) GIRL IN YOUR COACHING CENTRE. YOU STOP CONCENTRATING ON YOUR STUDIES PROPERLY AND THE RESULTS ARE HAMPERED. I FELL FOR SOMEONE AND THEN FELL TO 80%ILE IN MY 4TH MOCK( OR MAY BE 5TH).

Practice regularly even if you think you are very good in some specific section. Do not become complacent. Also, give more time to your weak section and do not just ignore or believe your mock scores. They are like convex mirrors… “Images in the mirror are closer than they look” Remember na??I scored almost at an average of 96-97%ile….barring a few occasions, when I crossed 99.97%ile once and also 78%ile. Apart from those mocks…95-99 was my domain, and I thought I was pretty much on the track. At least I thought that….

NOTE:- DO NOT LET YOUR EX-GFS SPOIL YOUR LIFE AGAIN. THEY HAVE DONE THAT ONCE, SO THEY KNOW HOW TO DO IT AGAIN. YOU HAVE SUFFERED ONCE, SO YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW HOW NOT TO SUFFER AGAIN.

The PG meets meanwhile were an eye-opener for me. I have made many friends through these meets, and have learnt a lot from them. Some of them are pursuing their MBAs this year, while some will start the journey with me. I even got selected in Mumbai Dream team in PGPL, which failed finally. But it has given me such a network of friends that I do really feel proud to among them. Someday, I want to make them proud of me too.(I know, it would be an exception…lol)Well, the forms were out and as I had planned, I filled almost all of my choice of colleges. I wonder though, why do CAT people do not come out with the correct solutions within a week of the exam. This way we students/aspirants would not have to fill up each and every damn form. Is it so that CAT people do not have proper solutions to the questions before conduction the exam? Is it so??? to CAT management committee.Well, I think I spent around 14k on the MBA forms last year. Would not be repeating the mistake this time round. Hit something…some CAT question from CAT 2009…. hospital rounds??? lol … Anyways, I went on an extensive 20 day vacation to my native place(not before fighting with my seniors a lot for extending it from 15 to 20 days). It helped me a lot in becoming the complacent Navi I am famous for. I really became complacent in the name of taking lesser tension. It seems that’s when I lost it.

Come C-Day and the first thing I remember is when I was out of the Examination hall. The 150 minutes were a blur. All I could remember was that there were 40 questions in EURC(my nemesis the last time round), and 25-25 in other two sections. Quantss initially seemed tough to me, but then I chose the right questions and solved 12 of them. DI again was too much math-a-pachhi doing, but I seemed to find a way round and solved only the right questions. 10 in DI.

Now I turned to my nemesis. EURC. I saw the watch. I had 55 minutes. I browsed through the section and found it rather easy. NO FIJS…lol… Some sentence corrections, some RCs, some grammar mistakes…”That’s all?? “, I asked myself. BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE. For once again, I became complacent. It cost me speed and accuracy, both. And finally an IIM seat. I could solve only 18 when others did 24-30 and some even all questions.

Final results.
QA- 12 attempted-All correct-48 marks..98.xx %ile
LRDI- 10 attempted- All correct-40 marks.. 97%ile
EURC 18 attempted- 8 correct-10 incorrrect-22 marks- A PATHETIC 64.xx %ile…

FINAL- 95.12%ile

Calls. IMT-G,TAPMI,IMI-Delhi
I was devastated.
Even XAT could not get me through. Just 97%ile.
JMET- not qualified.
FMS – not qualified
SNAP – uski to
IIFT -not qualified( unki bhi )

Finally Attended only IMT-G and IMI-D GD-PIs. Skipped TAPMI after reaching the college(They were asking for 10 L as course fee)
Meanwhile, I lost my job one fine day after slogging for 15 hours on average in office. Reason:- No reason. Unki bhi
I went through 2 breakups during this time which added no respite to my already going bad phase. But , but but but, 1 thing I learnt that no matter no one stands by me, I will always be there for myself.

Most of the first half of this year, I have been busy looking for a new job, not in software/private sector anymore. Stability is the word for me this time, in the government sector. I do not know where this quest will lead me and I have had my share of doubts over my ability. But I have come through all of them, with full faith in myself and now again I am preparing for season 2009. Though I still have to enrol for any test series, I will do it soon and when I am there, I know I will sail through this sea of uncertainty.

I wish next time I write my experience, its all on a positive note and I have at last something to boast of and to be proud about.

PS:- Do not go seeing off your ex on CST airport. It makes you more emotional and weak than you would ever want to be.

See you friends… see you soon

Till then…. Rock ON…

P.P.S. :- Most important lesson I learnt was to struggle in the worst of the times. Though I am still struggling hard with circumstances, I have the belief and more importantly, a guard against complacency this time. I just hope I peak at the right time, not like the last time, when I peaked too early and went down thereafter.

>:|


>Well… I have done it again. I have broken off with someone who was more than a friend. But I had to do it. It was inevitable. I know it must have been hard for her but I had to do it in order to break away from my past. There were no second thoughts. It was not easy for me as she was one person I used to share all my thoughts and worries with. Now its just me and MEEEE…. I guess I am an individual-is-tic….whatever that might mean…. But I definitely give more preference to myself than others. No doubt about that.

I hope people won’t call it a sin too….lol… :p


>Someone once told me that live life as it comes and don’t worry about tomorrow. “Jo hona hai hoga hi, abhi to achhe se reh lo”. Well, you were wrong sweetheart, you were damn wrong. It’s not like that. I understand why you used to tell me this though. Because you were planning to end it soon. That’s why you wanted me to understand that we had no future. You just wanted a casual relationship, nothing more. That’s why you were so damn afraid of a commitment. Really yaar, how clear things become when you start using your mind and looking for the reasons and signals. It was all there, but I was too blind to see it. If only I had known your intentions, I’d have never let you have that much control over me. Anyways. Thank god its over, I do not have to deal with a fake person anymore. Thank you sweetheart.

>Apologies


>Well, of late I was engaged in some of my other work due to which it was not possible for me to give enough time to this blog. I am “done” with it now. And anyways, I find this blog a very good companion now. I know now that its better to write a blog than to maintain a gf. I will be back to my story now on. Next post will be soon today.

P.S. :- Have to go to get the challan of VSP… gotta go… the lazy me…lol


>Finally it has happened again. The girl whom I loved has deserted me again. Four relationships in 9 years. With the first one spanning 7+ years. I think that’s why I have become so familiar with this feeling now. It does hurt, of course it does. But one thing I am sure that these break ups are taking aay something from me. Ability to trust girls.i do not say that girls are bad, they are the most beautiful creation of god. All I am saying that perhaps I would not go for any relationship now as I have no more trust left in me to entrust a girl with.

All innocent faces, sweet voices will only remind me of this betrayal. Sweet they might be, beautiful they might be, but that does not give them any right to play with someone’s emotions. I tried so hard because I knew I was at fault. Else I’d have simply kicked her away. I knew it was my mistake which was causing all this but then I also knew that the mistake wasn’t so big that it should result in such a planned break up. Perhaps there were other things in her mind which she never told me. Anyways, I know that I have tried enough, more than enough to save the relationship we had. Someone was adamant on finishing things off, packing her bag and run away.

I think she wanted to end this anyways. Things she said a few days ago make complete sense now. She wanted a way out. I understand it now. I have no qualms, no complaints. What I hated about this break up was that though I knew she was concocting all this up for the sake of a simple alibi, I didn’t tell her this in her face. Perhaps because I was at fault in first place. I did not have the right to blame someone else.

Anyways, bye bye my 4th ex girlfiriend 🙂

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